To have told DH to stop talking?

[seasidewitchtits]

He's been out all day having a 'much needed creative day' - visiting museums and meeting a friend for lunch.

I've been at home with 4 month old and autistic 4yo (and PND) all day, where the only break I got was 20 seconds to urinate before the 4mo kicked off and the 4yo started crying for me. I ate my lunch whilst constantly agitating a bouncer with my foot. It took four separate attempts to hang out one load of washing.

DH has just said 'Ooh I am tired tonight, today's been sooo busy' and, while I have often thought about telling him to shut up in similar situations, tonight I actually did!

He's huffed off to bed now and I'm downstairs waiting to dreamfeed the 4mo. I feel like I've done something wrong, but I don't feel a bit guilty or like apologising. AIBU to feel this way?

OP, if you leave, make sure he has access to DC with weekend visits. That way, you get a proper break and he bonds with them properly otu of necessity. Win win.

Your ds cries for you because he isn’t used to being cared for by his dad.

You and your DH need to talk. Things can’t carry on like this, you are worn thin.

He could so easily help - you need to find out if he is prepared to do this.

I hope you are ok OP

I wouldn’t t count on CS
The husband is self employed and we all know what slippery fuckers the self employed can be with regards to payingg child support
If he doesn’t gvie the op any money at the moment then it’s unlikely that he will if she leaves him

I'd tell him that you're surprised he even really cares that you've left with the kids because honestly, aren't you a bit? The only time he gives them is 30 minutes in the swimming pool, he can do that as a divorced dad just as easily. He isn't interested that you are struggling, so now he doesn't even have to see it.

I'm sure he would prefer not to have his clients and friends see that you left him, and he'd rather have dinner cooked and housework done for him, but will he miss you and the kids as PEOPLE rather than as accessories and appliances to his life?

just wanted to say. what @ReAnimatedSGB said, that is precisely the pattern of behaviour my ExH followed when I left him... accept the aggression, he just likes to shout at me rather than get physical.

Its always about them, never you.

This has to be about you and what you need, not him.

Oh, and he's definitely got a better relationship with the kids since we separated, and I get respite every other weekend while he has them overnight.

Hope it went okay and you're alright op

Please stick to your guns and leave with the kids. Even as a temporary measure, you need space

Thinking of you seaside, hope things got bit better or whatever you decided to do it went well. 💐

Hope you're okay seaside. Remember you can post whenever you need help.