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Original poster

Sat in toilets crying- what should I do?

164 replies

mimilake · 01/10/2018 11:51

Okay I know I'm being a baby but I've got incredibly low self-esteem and it took a lot of effort to get out of the house let alone apply to a masters course in Med Sci.

Last week was intro week, unfortunately I was recovering from an appendectomy so was unable to attend. Uni was great about it and told me to get better. Luckily I felt 100% better in time for the first lecture. I was told to go to reception at 10:30 today to go over what was covered last week (missed 3 events). Then attend a lecture at 11.

So i arrived at 10:25. Literally had to wait 20 mins to talk to someone only to get directed somewhere else. At this point I make the decision to go to the lecture and come back later. I run this past a staff member and they recommend I do this.

I was given a preliminary timetable last week so head off to the lecture theatre as I would like to have plenty of time to intro myself to coursemates.

I find my room, sit down and make small talk with the guy next to me. It transpires I'm in the wrong place. There has been a room change. Its now 11:20 as the lecturer started late. I go back to reception and they eventually tell me where the lecture is. The man I spoke to practically threw some textbooks at me and tells me to go to the lecture and enrol after. I had no chance to ask him any q's

I start running to the new place but chicken out as I cant face walking into the room 1 hr late.

I find the closest toilets and just burst into tears. This is not what I wanted to have happen. I have social anxiety and thos is the worse thing that could happen. I have no idea where to enrol and the stress is debilitating.

OP posts:
Jeezoh · 01/10/2018 11:54

Oh bless you. Can you take a deep breath, go and get some fresh air to calm yourself down firstvof all. What’s the next thing on your timetable? Can you write off the lecture you’ve missed and just head to the next one?

WoWsers16 · 01/10/2018 11:54

Oh bless you! Deep breath and wall back to reception and tell them that you feel you have been messed around (in a nice way). I wouldn’t go in a room an hour late either!

I am sure once all sorted today it will get easier! Take care and try and meet with someone to discuss how you are feeling! Don’t keep it in xxx

SassitudeandSparkle · 01/10/2018 11:54

Just catch your breath, go back and enrol and you can message the Lecturer later if you need to (to get any notes). Go back to the main information desk or reception and find out where to enrol.

Rainbowqueeen · 01/10/2018 11:55

I’m sorry this happened to you.

Do you know the name of anyone you have been in contact with about missing the intro week?

If I had a name I’d probably give that person a call and ask to meet with them or ask their advice about what to do

Please don’t let this put you off. It’s just a bad first day. Things will get better

FullOfJellyBeans · 01/10/2018 11:57

Awww bless its stressful but it's no big deal. Have a moment to calm down, go back in and register, get your timetable and move on. Once you're in the swing of things you'll have no more of this stress.

bellinisurge · 01/10/2018 11:57

That's a shitty set of circumstances that would try the toughest of spirits.
But .... you have to take a deep breath and unravel it. It should only be surface mess that can be sorted.
I hope that whoever that bloke was is having a really bad day.
I'm old enough to be your mum so I am sending you a hug from someone who gets it, who's had it but who knows the only way through it is through it.

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 01/10/2018 11:57

That sounds stressful, and it's no wonder you're upset, especially when you've been poorly.

Take a deep breath. Write down what you need to happen:

  1. Enrol;
  2. Catch up;
  3. Get correct timetable.

Then go back to reception and politely insist that they help you.

You can do this.

KarmaStar · 01/10/2018 12:01

Hello mimi,
Ok,take some deep breaths,dry your eyes and think this through.
Forget about this lecture as it will be half way through.go back to reception to complete your paperwork.
See if you have been assigned a tutor/mentor,or sometimes they have older students acting as such,ask to be out in touch with one and meet for a coffee in the campus cafe and explain how you feel.
Ask if they can help you meet some fellow students.
You won't be the only one feeling this way for sure,and usually fear of something is worse than the thing itself.you have done extremely well to get so far in your academic studies,be proud of who you are.
Wishing you lots of successFlowers

BastardGoDarkly · 01/10/2018 12:02

I'm hoping you're out of the toilets now op.

It's a shitty first day, it's not just you that would find all that really hard Flowers

Come on, you've got this.

Blackoutblinds · 01/10/2018 12:03

Deep breath and go in. It’ll be fine. They expect fuck ups the first week or two. Honestly.

Original poster
mimilake · 01/10/2018 12:05

Thanks guys. I'm 23 so feel v pathetic. I feel like I can't go back to reception (ask about enrolling/getting id card) until 2 when the lecture is over. I don't want people to know how anxious and weird I am. The guy honestly gave me no info and was backing off before i had finished speaking :(. I'm just sat here trying to collect my self and sort my snoyty face out. I just need to feel safe for a sec :(

I got up super early to do my hair & make up in order to feel good.

Ofc this would happen. I'm a mess.

OP posts:
Bobbybear10 · 01/10/2018 12:05

You have great advice already so I’m just giving a handhold and honestly I promise you can do this. Flowers

Original poster
mimilake · 01/10/2018 12:08

This is exactly what I did at secondary school. Hide in the toilets :(

OP posts:
hungryhippo90 · 01/10/2018 12:08

Listen, you need to break this down and view it as it has been, a shit morning, and one lecture you have missed.

When you can pull yourself together, really have a think about it, it’s not that bad.

If you can, spend a bit of time learning your way around, take your time to enrol, and look forward to your next lecture, please don’t fear it.

You’ll be absolutely fine, don’t let the stress engulf you x

Blackoutblinds · 01/10/2018 12:10

It’s one lecture. They’ll still be able to admit people up to week 3 usually to a masters. It’s no biggie to miss it. Honestly xxx

Even chuck it, go and get a coffee and find the lecturer after and chat to them. Or go to your student support folks xxx

Original poster
mimilake · 01/10/2018 12:10

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
LeopardPaws · 01/10/2018 12:10

Hi OP,
I'm also 23 and started a masters course last week, it's really scary isn't it?
I cried when I first saw my timetable (I've taken a few years out of education) because it just seemed so much.
I'm also really anxious all the time and I would've definitely cried in the situation you're in. You are not weird as you said before.
Honestly, I'd go home and recooperate (but sometimes I'm too soft on myself) and send the faculty/lecturer an email to ask for notes, explain the situation.
Maybe also send an email to reception to ask when you can pick up your ID again.
I hope you're feeling okay, anxiety is a bitch. ThanksCake

Blackoutblinds · 01/10/2018 12:11

You could email that’s a good idea if you’re nervous and the notes will be on your ONLINE LEARNING ENVIRONMENT.

KathDayKnight50 · 01/10/2018 12:12

I start running to the new place but chicken out as I cant face walking into the room 1 hr late

You won't be the first and you won't be the last who has done this.

I understand it feels awful as you have this anxiety.

Take the good advice given from previous posters. You can do this. You're obviously a smart girl to be on this course.

Have you done CBT or something like that to build resilience and work through some of these overwhelming emotions? It could really pay off for you in the future.

You will be okay. Really, you will Flowers

Blackoutblinds · 01/10/2018 12:12

No idea why I shouted that. Blush

toolazytothinkofausername · 01/10/2018 12:12

You are most definitely not pathetic, and all this can be corrected. You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about. You are extremely brave to start the course, so do not for a second put yourself down! Do not let this tiny incident knock your confidence!

plominoagain · 01/10/2018 12:13

Mimi , you’re not pathetic , really you’re not . You can do this , of course you can . One thing at a time .

  1. Talk to us , or take deep breaths , or do whatever you need to do to catch your breath and get refocused .
  1. Go back to reception , and enrol . You won’t be the only person struggling this week , and you certainly won’t be the only one they see , I guarantee it.
  1. Get the correct timetable . In the grand scheme of things , missing one lecture isn’t going to be that big a deal .
  1. Go to the next one , knowing that all the preliminaries have been done , and you can go in all prepared and enjoy the lecture.

You can do this . You got yourself this far , after all . I have faith in you.

carrie74 · 01/10/2018 12:14

Aw, draw a line under this morning and look forward. Have something to eat, then head back to the office and explain again and ask for help on what's next / enrol / double check your timetable.

It always takes a little while to get into the swing of things, and you've missed a few days so already in the back foot. It'll all come back into place soon x

Original poster
mimilake · 01/10/2018 12:19

I was already stressed as I was on the back foot already
. I really wanted today to go well.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I am smart (really not trying to brag) but was is the point if I can't handle these (social) situations.

I have had cbt and it has been fairly effective. But when thing go tits up I literally cannot cope.

OP posts:
iwillrunanultra · 01/10/2018 12:19

Gosh I really feel for you, I would have ended up in the loos crying too. Deep breath and use the spare lecture time to familarise yourself with the building and timetable etc.

Have some lunch, don't forget to eat and drink. Re-do your make-up. More deep breaths - onwards and upwards!

xx

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