My DP of twelve years had an affair with a activity teacher of my dc and furthermore she works at the school my dc have just started at. The level of betrayal was pretty awful (going out for late night ‘walks’ to her house, taking my dc there for playdayes etc) and was devastating. He actually moved in with her for about a week and then came home. Professing that he had made a massive mistake etc. We are trying again and hand on heart, we had some issues although I am by no means excusing it as he almost caused me to have a breakdown.
But that’s not really the problem. I’ve not been in touch with OW as I’ve had no need and quite honestly trying to forget it and work on how we heal. However we live a few streets apart and we’re likely to bump into each other. It was my dc birthday this last weekend and the OW gave her daughter and friend a present to give to my dc at school. I was devastated when my dc came home with this gift it seemed so manipulative (unfortunately they had started the affair whilst taking my dc to her house to play) and like it was trying to remind my dp of her existence. I sent her a polite but clear message to stay away from my dc including her daughter both of which are primary age. Her daughter knows about the affair which is mortifying as do the teaching staff at the school as Ow told them.
OW messaged me back essentially saying she was furious to be asked her to stay away from my dc. Now I’m questioning my demand (I didn’t demand tho) am I being unreasonable? I know they did a dreadful thing...they both did...but I’m giving my dp another chance so should I think it’s ok for her child to play with my dc and for her to play with my dc. I don’t want to have the constant reminder but I also don’t want to be unreasonable although part of me thinks I can be if I want to give our relationship the best chance.