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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to want to rehome 1 of our dogs before baby gets here?

152 replies

WaveEquation · 30/09/2018 08:44

So, we’ve got 3 dogs and our first baby on the way (due in January). Dog 1 is an ancient old bull terrier mix and the gentlest animal on the face of the earth; he was diagnosed with kidney failure two years ago and has held on with a modified diet but probably won’t make it until the baby comes. Dog 2 is a 9yo rescue greyhound and the absolute omega of the household; a very easy dog who just wants to be in the same room as you, preferably lying on the floor impersonating a carpet. Dog 3 is a lurcher we got a year ago to replace Dog 1, who seemed to be on his last legs even back then. We were told by the rescue charity that he had been a stray and had been rehomed once but was returned after 1.5 years due to destructive behaviour in the house, but needed a home with other dogs. It quickly became clear Dog 3 had been abused, as he was extremely fearful of my father-in-law (nipped him on the wrist when he tried to pet him) and cringes when you raise your arm, etc. He is also extremely aggressive towards dogs he doesn’t know well and lunges & barks ferociously on walks unless we actively avoid other dogs (and he’ll attack if any dog gets within range). Most of the time he likes Dogs 1 & 2 but he has drawn blood from them on about 6 occasions due to resource-guarding—food, toys, his bed, the sofa, and most recently the kitchen bin, which he sometimes gets into despite our best efforts to remember to keep the kitchen door shut. We’ve made huge efforts already to “fight-proof” our lifestyles by not having the dogs around our food, supervising who goes in which bed, etc., but it’s impossible to remove all the things he guards (I mean, poor old Dog 1 needs a bed for his old bones!). He absolutely adores people (except older men until he trusts them) and has been good with kids that he’s met, though he’s never met any under the age of about 5, and of course by that age they’re taller than he is so he clearly can see that they’re higher in the pecking order than he is.

My fear is that when the baby learns to crawl/walk, she’ll try to climb on the sofa or in his bed, or take a toy from him, or walk too close to the kitchen bin, etc., and he’ll bite her. My husband loves this dog to death and thinks we can just teach the baby not to do those things and “be vigilant” but I just don’t think that’s realistic—even one second of lack of vigilance at the wrong time could be a disaster! ...Or he might love the baby and have no issues because all his issues are with dogs. But how will we know unless we try, and how can we take that risk?

I’m all for rehoming the dog (the charity we got him from promises to take a dog back if needed, and I have 2 friends who’ve met the dog and would be willing to go through the charity to adopt him), or if my husband really won’t agree, crating the dog when the baby is around (though I feel this isn’t fair to the dog, who’s a lovely pet in the right circumstances).

What do you think? AIBU? Should we see how it goes? I don’t want to be the one my husband blames for making him give up his dog.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 01/10/2018 14:44

Have people even read the OPs first post ?

Dog does not need to be pts- Op already has more than one person prepared to rehome the dog through the charity.

Dog sounds like he is perfectly well cared for with OP, if anything is being compromised it's the well-being of the other 2 dogs.

OP I don't think you have any other option but rehoming the dog and provided new home give him care and attention- which as vetted through the charity I'm sure they will- then I can't even view it as a big dilemma.

Beaverhausen · 02/10/2018 07:59

OP if charity can rehome the dog and more than happy to do so then go for it, if you see no way out of it. Good luck but please do not pts a pet who has issues due no one else fault but his previous carers.

there are dog behaviorists who can work with difficult dogs and get them out of the habits they have.

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