Please help me before I totally lose my shit!

[sav3m3]

How do people cope with their partners snoring? Like genuinely how do you deal with it as it's driving me mad!! I normally fall asleep first which is fine, but I often wake up during the night most nights and then can't get back to sleep as DP is doing impressions of some kind of demented walrus

Even the neighbours have commented that they've heard it!

We've tried me wearing earplugs but I can still hear it slightly through that which is enough to keep me awake. Tried sleeping in the spare bedroom but I can still hear him and also when I'm downstairs on the sofa. Nose strips and nose spray helped a bit but not completely. He is slightly overweight which is what I think probably causes it but he's quite sensitive bout that so can't really push that he needs to lose weight

At the moment I've been going with the method of waking him up every time he's snoring (around 48000 times per night) and hoping that will annoy him enough that he will stay awake long enough for me to go to sleep but that never happens and I end up lying there fantasising about hitting him with the bedside light or something similar

Please tell me there's something that will help or is my only option to cave his head in?

get him to gargle mouthwash - it opens up the throat a bit to reduce the noise

You can get him shields that help with snoring....

Or you can do what Helena Bonham Carter did.... by the house next door

Or smother him with a pillow

My DH is the same - then adds insult to injury by telling me he doesn’t snore. 😒. If it’s teally bad I send him to the spare room, but that’s only recently become an option. Used to be the sofa!

Has he been to the GP?

Nose spray can help a bit as can losing weight.

My DP snores like a bastard when he's first asleep so I feel your pain. I use Snoozers earplugs which are specially designed for sleeping so they're quite comfy. They're not cheap (about 30 quid I think) but they so work. I'd rather not have to wear them but I'm useless if I don't get enough sleep.

I love him to pieces and he's a darling, we're long distance atm and it's the only thing that puts me off living with him all the time.

Good luck!

I second category12's question; snoring this bad could be more than an annoyance, but could flag up the risk of sleep apnoea; don't want to put the frighteners on, but better to have your mind put at rest by someone medically qualified.
Removing tonsils is not an operation so readily undertaken these days, but I had mine taken out as a child, and the first symptom had been snoring. After the operation, I apparently slept to quietly that my mother was frightened into checking during the night that I was actually still breathing!
If he denies that he snores - record him and play it back!

I have it on reliable authority than I very occasionally snore.

Gently.

Subtly.

Quietly.

Apparently a good elbow to the ribs and I roll over into the foetal position and resume silent sleeping like a sweet little baby and have no recollection of this in the morning.

The bruises can be a bit of a giveaway though.

www.dreams.co.uk/sleep-matters-club/do-men-snore-more-than-women/

The 'trick' appears to be sleeping on your side. Can you retrain him to do so? Preferably using kindness and positive reinforcement, not my wife's preferred sharp elbow to the ribs.

I had to record my dh and play it back to him before he realised how bad it was! If he's overweight that doesn't help either. Dh now uses nytol anti snoring spray before bed and it pretty much stops it completely!

There is no option for us other than sleeping in separate rooms. Sleep is too important, I can't be awake half the night because my dh snores.
He sleeps in the spare room. I use ear plugs and a white noise machine.

You have to address the issues causing the snoring...or rather HE does.

There are medical issues....is he overweight?

Thanks guys, so many good pointers here but I think the suggestion of smothering him with a pillow is the only one that will guarantee a result

I have encouraged him to see the GP, but as of yet he hasn't been. I will keep pushing him and make an appointment myself if I have to!

@instamummy DP tells me that too! H usually replies with 'how can I be snoring when I was awake' which boils my piss

@athena51 I moved in with him pretty quickly due so wasn't really aware of the extent of the problem. Had I been I think I would have reconsidered!

@grumpyolderbloke DP seems to be one of the rare breed where it doesn't matter what position he's in, and the snoring is actually worse when he's asleep on his side. I think he could sleep hanging upside down from the door frame and he would still snore! Elbows to the ribs give me a few moments of satisfaction until it starts again 10 seconds later

I managed to train DH to be a lot better by a mix of nudges/shoves (hard enough to make him roll over but not quite enough to fully wake him) and, oddly enough, telling him to be quiet which sometimes works! I just say "stop snoring" or something, again not loud enough that he fully wakes up but often he will go quieter or roll over and stop. If you have a worse case though then I'd try asking the chemist first for good products, and the doctor if that didn't work.

BiL pointed out to my sister that she was the one who had a problem, as he wasn't waking himself up 😴 I've heard that argument from other snorers as well.

@ajaslipstick yes as stated in my OP he is slightly overweight but very sensitive about it as he's gained weight recovering from an injury which ended his sporting career so I can't really push it too much

There is a snore ring that you can buy that is surprisingly effective. It is worn on the little finger and did help with my ex.

I feel your pain, snoring makes me murderous one of the many reasons the ex is an ex!

Separate rooms

That reads like I murdered him, I didn’t, just moved out which is almost as effective!

@teddyisahe murder is the next option on my list

Has he always snores or has it happened since the weight gain?

I snore when I have a cold right now my DH has developed techniques similar to the hug and roll 😂😂

He's a teeth grinder and sleep talker (he once told me the plot of les mis in his sleep !) cold or not so I feel your pain

Honestly - I don’t know but I need to.

I love my DH to bits but his snoring puts a serious strain on our relationship as I just cannot sleep. And he thinks I am being U for waking him up!

He should be evaluated for sleep apnea. It can be quite harmful if not dealt with.

I read a reply to this problem in a women's magazine years ago. An elderly woman replied, saying she'd been recently widowed, and would give anything to be able to hear her husband snoring again.
It really resonated with me, I was newly married and my otherwise lovely husbands snoring had been driving me nuts. It just never bothered me again, although he still snores like a drain. I treat as proof he's still alive.
I can report that 30 years on, it doesn't keep me awake anymore, I have got used to it, and I think its the annoyance that keeps one awake, rather than the actual noise. After all, we can all fall asleep with the tv blaring.

@runsmidgeOMG I have a raging cold at the moment and DP dared to wake me up and have a go at me for snoring for a few minutes last night for what he said was the first time he's ever noticed me snore. That really helped the rage I was feeling inside