Please help me before I totally lose my shit!

[sav3m3]

How do people cope with their partners snoring? Like genuinely how do you deal with it as it's driving me mad!! I normally fall asleep first which is fine, but I often wake up during the night most nights and then can't get back to sleep as DP is doing impressions of some kind of demented walrus

Even the neighbours have commented that they've heard it!

We've tried me wearing earplugs but I can still hear it slightly through that which is enough to keep me awake. Tried sleeping in the spare bedroom but I can still hear him and also when I'm downstairs on the sofa. Nose strips and nose spray helped a bit but not completely. He is slightly overweight which is what I think probably causes it but he's quite sensitive bout that so can't really push that he needs to lose weight

At the moment I've been going with the method of waking him up every time he's snoring (around 48000 times per night) and hoping that will annoy him enough that he will stay awake long enough for me to go to sleep but that never happens and I end up lying there fantasising about hitting him with the bedside light or something similar

Please tell me there's something that will help or is my only option to cave his head in?

@DelphiniumBlue I can't fall asleep with any noise or light in the room, we have blackout curtains and DP watches TV downstairs then comes up to bed as there's no way I could fall asleep with the TV on and the snoring, so unfortunately for me it's not as simple as just get used to it.

OMG how dare he ! I second PP who said to record him doing it... maybe that'll make him see the gravity of the situation 🙄🙄

LizzieSiddal he's always snored for the 4 years we've been together, but it does seem to have got worse with the weight gain so I do think that is affecting it. Will push him to go to the GP and get it checked out as other PP's have suggested

Wax earplugs and a noise machine help. Foam earplugs hurt my ears and don't do much for the noise. I use both of these:
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0097D4ZMU/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8
www.boots.com/boots-muffle-wax-earplugs-5-pairs-10114104

This also helps (and is extremely effective when used with wax earplugs): www.hibermate.com/

When my dh drinks too much (not shedloads, just an extra pint can do it) it's much worse. If sleeping on his back is a problem you can get various antisnoring belts and wedge things, or you can sew a pocket on the back of his pyjamas and put tennis balls in it.

There are chin "slings" available, like a strap that keeps the mouth closed. If he won't go to a doctor, try that. When my DH had that issue, we used those nose strips that keep the nostrils wide open and it stopped it. He didn't snore too much, though and after losing weight it stopped completely. He lost weight due to chemo, not a diet to be recommended, but has kept it off for over three years.

@runsmidgeOMG tried that this morning and he just laughed it off and said how impressive it was that he could make a noise like that! Unfortunately he's somebody who could sleep through the house falling down, so he just really doesn't get how much it affects me when I'm constantly having interrupted sleep and can't get more than about 4-6 hours a night

sav - my husband snores, I thought I had found the remedy and sewed a cotton reel behind the collar of his pyjamas, but when he woke up in the morning, I could see he had a massive dent in his neck! didn't cure the snoring either, so now its earplugs for me, you could set music to his snoring

For me it's a triple pronged approach. Separate bedrooms, earplugs and falling asleep first. If I hear the snoring I get tense about hearing it and then I can't sleep because I'm so tense...

Separate rooms.

By far the best way. We are not even on the same floor.

Separate rooms. It has saved my sanity.

Xanax.

For me, not Mr. 747 coming in for landing to my right.

The only thing that has worked in more than two decades of sharing a bed.

I don't want to sleep apart. In winter he is my heating source and year round he is my comfort blanket. But dear God he could win Gold for Italy in snoring.

I was prescribed it after learning my father had died and ... there was some falling to pieces. I don't take it during the day anymore, but anxiety still lurks at night which plays havoc with my lifelong insomnia and staying asleep issues. So I still take it at bedtime.

A happy side effect is I not only sleep through the rumblings, I can actually fall asleep with the snoring as my "lullaby" too. With just some Dark Muttering About Inconsiderate Noses between taking it and it starting to work.

Might be a case of taking a sledge hammer to a nut for you though.

How about valeriana ? It's a herby sleep aid OTC thing. I remember when I took it ages ago (because I was stressed about the coming day) I could still hear DH snoring, but it annoyed me less than usual. So I got to sleep quite quickly, without passing through the homicidal rage stage first. I don't think it would work as a long term solution, but might buy you some time until the weight issue can be sensitively taken out of the equation.

As stated we have already tried separate rooms and even separate floors, but it's so loud that I can still hear it and that solves nothing. Also, as @CesiraAndEnrico said, I don't want to commit to always sleeping in separate rooms yet while we are still so early into our relationship. It may work for other people but it's just not what I want (yet) and I would rather explore the other options first

Dh tried about a dozen ways to stop his snoring. A foam neck brace worked best. However, the very best way to get a good night's sleep is separate bedrooms.

We even book an extra bedroom for holidays or a good sofabed in the lounge at least.

Dh always treated it as his problem to solve. Don't know if I could have still loved him if not.

You should both be concerned about what the snoring is telling you about his health. Have him tested for sleep apnoea. Also, you might want to look at breathing therapies like Buteyko. This is a link to some free teaching materials aimed at kids, but the principles are the same - buteykoclinic.com/buteykochildren/. There is a book aimed at adults called The Oxygen Advantage, which might be worth a look. I can point you in the direction of other ideas to explore if you want. Good luck.

Him - a V shaped pillow so that he’s not sleeping flat on his back.
Me - custom made sleeping earplugs. Got them made in the audiology dept at spec savers. Cost about £120 but WORTH EVERY PENNY. They totally block out the deep snoring noise and I can hardly feel them even if I’m sleeping on my side.

It took almost dying of heart failure before my DH took his jet-taking-off-8-inches-next-to-me level snoring seriously.

He had been diagnosed with sleep apnoea and given a CPAP machine, which he used when he felt like it. In other words, rarely. It absolutely stopped his snoring and he admitted he slept better but 'he didn't like it'. Nevermind that it meant we could both get a good night's sleep!

The cardiologist told him that sleep apnoea is absolutely linked to heart failure and sudden cardiac death and that loud snoring is the number one symptom of sleep apnoea. Scared the shit out of him. Kinda pissed me off that my not sleeping (and his own not sleeping deeply) wasn't enough to make him use the CPAP, but whatever. He uses it faithfully now and nights are blissfully silent.

Anyway, tell your DP that he will DIE if he doesn't see to his snoring. A little panic and a white lie is acceptable in your situation!

Sleep earphones and phone podcasts... coupled with the kids mercilessly doing beautifully accurate impressions to him of his snoring mainly (nowt like your speech delayed 5 year old doing a wonderful impression to shame you into rolling back over on your side much more).

OH is a shockingly loud snorer. People have even commented they can hear him outside on the pavement. I'm one of those people who need complete quiet to sleep. I tried my best for several years to cope with it, mostly ending up downstairs on the sofa. He tried lots of the usual remedies, but nothing worked. One night, after hardly any sleep for weeks, I just lost my shit and got out of my bed and stuck my pillow over his head just to try to stop the noise. I remember at the time, in my angry zombie like state thinking jesus people really struggle when you try to smother them. We laugh about it now, but at the time it was serious and I was just pushed to the edge of reason. I just wanted the noise to stop. Anyway you'll be pleased to hear he survived and we do laugh about it now believe it or not. These days we sleep in separate rooms. So much better than having to do doing time for manslaughter. I know people laugh and joke about snorers, but when you're the one not getting any sleep night after night you can become seriously unhinged.
I know this all sounds terrible, but I am a nice person....honestly.
Good luck OP, I hope you find something that helps.

DH has a custom fitted mandibular splint - it’s like a titanium gum shield that forces the lower jaw forward and opens up the airway for sleep apnea sufferers. It’s a good thing to start before a CPAP machine because the body can get reliant on an external agent forcing air into the lungs and it’s a bit less obtrusive. Of course, it does only work if they wear it...
I want my own bedroom but DH gets pouty and makes a sad face when I suggest it. Twat. Asthmatic rhinoceros twat. (He doesn’t have asthma before anyone gets the arse.)

We also have restless legs to contend with so I'm stuck next to something resembling a pneumatic drill doing riverdance. I kick him back when he starts with the legs thing if he gets me, but spend a lot of the night making elaborate duvet and pillow constructed walls that Trump would be jealous of when he starts.

Generally I cope by going to bed before him so I'm asleep before the snoring starts.

On the occasion my partner snores I wake him up, make him roll over and that stops it enough for me to get back to sleep. I think it might be past that for you OP... I would get him to book with GP as he could have infected adenoids or tonsils that have gone unnoticed.

My partner snoring, my neighbor too lol. Some nights is horrible but most of the time it doesnt bothers me really. If I wake up during the night I just gently touch him, hug or stroke and he stops so I can sleep again. Very seldom I wake up by his snoring itself.

I prefer the Sleeep earplugs to the snoozers. They're made by the same people but the Sleeep ones are more comfortable.

DH snores too. I banish him downstairs.

I feel the rage. I end up sleeping with the toddler.

@AcrossthePond55 I am glad he has the diagnosis. A shocking percentage of people with OSA don't ever seek an explanation for their snoring, even though they are constantly exhausted. Try to get to the bottom of why he doesn't like his ventilator, to see if there is anything they can do to make it more comfortable. Also, look into his daytime breathing. You might find he is mouth-breathing by day and that consciously improving his oral posture so that he nose breathes makes a difference.