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AIBU?

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Original poster

Please help me before I totally lose my shit!

179 replies

sav3m3 · 29/09/2018 15:30

How do people cope with their partners snoring? Like genuinely how do you deal with it as it's driving me mad!! I normally fall asleep first which is fine, but I often wake up during the night most nights and then can't get back to sleep as DP is doing impressions of some kind of demented walrus

Even the neighbours have commented that they've heard it!

We've tried me wearing earplugs but I can still hear it slightly through that which is enough to keep me awake. Tried sleeping in the spare bedroom but I can still hear him and also when I'm downstairs on the sofa. Nose strips and nose spray helped a bit but not completely. He is slightly overweight which is what I think probably causes it but he's quite sensitive bout that so can't really push that he needs to lose weight

At the moment I've been going with the method of waking him up every time he's snoring (around 48000 times per night) and hoping that will annoy him enough that he will stay awake long enough for me to go to sleep but that never happens and I end up lying there fantasising about hitting him with the bedside light or something similar

Please tell me there's something that will help or is my only option to cave his head in? Grin

OP posts:
MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 30/09/2018 18:53

Whoever invented the hell which is a double bed should be shot! OK for romantic times but awful otherwise. I hate sleeping with anyone else - I need my space, quiet and peace. My DH sleeps on the sofa downstairs most nights as he falls asleep watching TV - I don't mind!

thenightsky · 30/09/2018 18:56

When I get terribly sleep deprived I start to sleepwalk and/or physically act out my dreams. More than once I've woken to find myself beating or strangling my partner whilst having a nightmare that I'm fighting a loud growling, snarling beast. Once I woke to find myself in a hotel corridor as I dreamt I was desperately running away from a snarling monster.

toxic44 · 30/09/2018 18:56

DelphiniumBlue that is how I feel. Once I'd realised the time would come when I wouldn't hear him, I found it quite reassuring. SO snored and burbles but it doesn't bother me. I could be alone and unloved, which would be much harder to deal with.

jakscrakers · 30/09/2018 18:59

Seriously get him to the doctors after you have recorded him, I refused to believe i snored also, apparently like a hog roasting on an open fire i was told ugh, they presented me with the evidence, I tried all the stuff you can buy, drinks, rings, bracelets, nose pinching things OUCH and finally spoke to the doctor who sent me to the hosptial for tests, pffft i didnt need this i was sure. They did all the tests and apparently I have severe obstructive sleep apnea, when i saw the mask they wanted me to wear I nearly ran a mile, but that first morning after wow i felt alive really awake i must have not had a good nights sleep for years, always wondered why i felt so sleepy when i thought i was sleeping well, who knew. Been using this for a full year and I feel great, i sleep well, i dont even notice the machine anymore I put it on and off to dreamland i go x

Judydreamsofhorses · 30/09/2018 19:00

I feel your pain. We have tried everything - GP ruled out any issues - and now I always sleep with earplugs, take magnesium tablets before bed, and try to get to bed first. Usually DP sleeps in the spare room on a Sunday night, because that’s when I am most likely to sleep badly, and always if he’s been drinking or has a cold.

Loonoon · 30/09/2018 19:04

My DH not only snores, he also has night terrors so screams, shouts and swears throughout the night. I recently bought a white noise machine which helps a bit (although he complains about the noise of it!)

NorksAreMessy · 30/09/2018 19:39

Insomniac married to a snorer here.

Separate rooms are the only way....30years married. 27 years in separate rooms = happy marriage

Nettleskeins · 30/09/2018 19:42

I don't hesitate to wake dh up and turn him on his side. This usually works. If necessary I wedge him on his side by sleeping very close to him. Snoring is really bad for people as many have said upthread, it is important to stop the snoring not just to block out the sound itself. He does complain if woken but I think it would be much worse for him to have sleep apnoea because I hadn't stopped the snoring posture (which happens when he lies on his back) Dh has also had a thrombosis 4 years ago so he is susceptible to cardiac problems. I just don't tolerate snoring. If it went on and turning didn't work, I would force him to the doctor

AnotherManicMumday · 30/09/2018 19:51

Sorry only just seen this post. I bought my dp some silicone nose plugs off Amazon. You get different sizes so can find best one. They are like little cups with airvents and have a thing that attaches them that goes on the outside to stop them being inhaled. Absolute godsend!

AnotherManicMumday · 30/09/2018 19:57

.

Please help me before I totally lose my shit!
mathanxiety · 30/09/2018 20:19

Glad he is going to see the doctor. Sleep apnoea can be a very serious medical problem.

He will probably be told to lose some weight by the doctor, and hopefully the snoring will be investigated properly. If they dismiss him without investigation, send him back to a different GP.

Be careful with the sleeping pills, OP.

Kyrie10 · 30/09/2018 21:09

May be worth checking if he has sleep apnoea. Get him to see his doctor x

ApproachingATunnel · 30/09/2018 21:13

Put a pillow over his face and press until he stopsGrin
On a serious note, he needs to lose weight, it’s hell. My dh snores too but with earplugs i cope.

RB68 · 30/09/2018 21:19

The nose or throat spray work with mine - but it has about a 2 week build up time before its fully effective

blueangel1 · 30/09/2018 21:25

1st DH snored horrendously and would stop breathing. I used to wake up and dig him in the ribs to make him inhale. Eventually he was sent for a sleep study and they found he stopped breathing nearly 200 times in one night! A CPAP machine helped a lot.

Crummyfunnymummy · 30/09/2018 21:35

My DH is a snorer and I am a light sleeper. Bad combo!!! I find earplugs do help a bit. Then repeated shoving in the back, making him adjust his position and drink some water. Although (and this has made me want to stab him!!) on occasions when I’ve woken him multiple times, like every 2 minutes, he’s got really shirty and told me to stop waking him up as “there’s no point in BOTH of us being kept awake!!” Words fail me!! Angry

Dexy1957 · 30/09/2018 21:37

I feel for you .after years of terrible snoring my husband has had some skin removed from the back of his throat .very painful !we’ve had to pay for it no NHS any more for this operation but it does seem to have worked !!

DownstairsMixUp · 30/09/2018 21:58

I use the silicone ear plugs and try to go before him, it's a nightmare and honestly I've been close to killing him! I remember one really bad week (before ear plugs) it's been a really bad week of snoring and I cracked one night and just screamed Grin like actual screamed! I can laugh now but that level of sleep deprivation combined with seeing them sleeping but making a racket like an earth quake, obvious to you was too much. He does make an effort now to roll on his side and I nudge him in the night if I hear him with my ear plugs in and he readjusts his pillows and stuff which helps

Skittlesandbeer · 30/09/2018 22:04

Sorry, you arent getting any sleep and barely able to function but he’s a bit sensitive about his weight and so that can’t be mentioned?

Bugger that for a game of toy soldiers.

Make him a GP appointment, and put him on rations.

MrsPeel · 30/09/2018 22:09

To everyone saying "Oh if he died you would give anything to hear him snoring again" - that may well be true, but you could say that of any annoying or unpleasant habit - that does not mean you should have to put up with it especially if it is affecting your health

Scientistic · 30/09/2018 22:12

Macks earplugs are awesome and cheap. There are different levels but eBay is your best bet. My dh is horrific but they do tend to block it enough for me to sleep.

Kim1010 · 30/09/2018 22:12

Move into another room! And for the neighbours & his healths sake, he should see his dr and arrange having a Cpap (? Spelling) machine !!

Lushy9 · 30/09/2018 22:13

Oh god I totally feel your pain! I am 3 months pregnant and fucking angry all the time and at everyone especially my husband, so you can imagine how the snoring goes down! I literally get so worked up I could either punch the or cry! Oh god was anyone this angry at 4 months preg? I am waiting for the gushy, glowing moment to arrive.....it isn’t coming anytime soon! Grrrrrrr

FunSponges · 30/09/2018 22:22

I'm the snorer in our house. Apparently it's really bad. The kids have even said they've heard me. I'm not overweight, I don't sleep on my back, I don't smoke or drink so no idea why. I've been to the GP who just said there is an op but it's unpleasant and often doesn't work. That was it. No suggestion of it being sleep apnea even though I'm permanently exhausted and have had a chronic illness for years (which I've always had a niggle 'what if it's not that' as there are no tests for it), but sleep apnea could be the reason.

ledzepplintooasiseclectic · 30/09/2018 22:25

My OH mother snores worse than him and our DD is competing with them both. She is pin thin and I am fairly sure it’s her adenoids. She is becoming embarrassed about the snoring and I may take her along to the GP for a referral to ent