I don't want to know about your (vaginal) birth

[PouchofDouglas]

Met a total stranger yesterday - work thing, quite formal. She has a new baby - 11lbs.
" Yes I had him totally naturally(!) - no tears or injuries' etc
She said this several times

Baby was 6 weeks, I know you go a bit nuts but jeez lady

Pretty impressive she’s at a work thing 6 weeks after giving birth! So many people ask, I’m guessing she’s a. proud of vag delivery of a massive baby without injuries, and b. most people ask anyway so she’s saving some time.

‘Jeez, you must have a massive fanny’

That would have shut her up.

She's still traumatized by giving birth, which is a weird experience good or bad, and is unable to focus on anything else. Don't blame you for not wanting to hear it though!

YANBU. I wanted to shout to the sky about my birth because i was so amazed at the human body and felt a lot of solidarity with other women, but i never ever gave any detals unless specifically asked. It's so personal and you can risk upsetting people or scaring them or making it sound easier than it was because youre wearing rose tinted glasses. I'm always amazed at how many people think its appropriate to tell everyone. I once had to reassure my crying friend because some stranger had told her about their horror birth 2 weeks before my (already anxious) friend was due.

Never understood why women find it necessary to discuss the details of their birth, never discussed mine with anyone other than the professionals. I found out a few weeks ago the OH knows more about it than me after he talked to the doctor at the time, I find it's a boring subject. Do people think others should be interested in the details of their other medical stuff, appendix, hernia?

Fuck me, if I gave birth to an 11lber totally naturally with no years, and was back at a work function 6 wks later I would feel like superwoman and want the world to know!

I would love to know what she found natural about her birth cos I can tell I found nothing natural about the whole thing.....

There were things I said and did that I would not a) do again in polite society or b) talk about in polite society.

I always find it strange that anyone would equate giving birth to a baby with having your appendix out or a hernia removed.

Wow, chuff of steel. Good for her.

Mine was a whopper and people often asked questions about the weight, and then looked me up and down in horror/disgust. Nice eh.

Maybe shes just pre-empting people who are going to be imagining stuff like that anyway

Hellena- YES.

She literally is superwoman. I'd put it on a t-shirt.

On a serious note though, your mind does go crazy and it's all you can talk about for ages after.

this wasnt in a coffee shop
This was in a formal situation. I think these convserations are WEIRD to start with total strangers

I was expected to applaud her for her fanny being intact

I had no clue if the baby was big or not - am well past that era
it was just a baby

If it was 11lbs, it was big.

A lady at my work sent a mass email to 60 staff outlining what happened with her birth. It was just odd.

11lbs is massive - no wonder she's telling the world!
Although the "no tears" part is a bit TMI.

When people ask the birth weight of my DD - which they do regularly - I always clarify and say I had a c-section. Otherwise I can literally see them wondering if my vagina survived. (She was 10lb 13oz.)

No, no, no to any discussion of birth. I'd rather talk about how I found it having a shit this morning.

It was enormous. Kudos to her.

Yes, one of my nephews was 12lb something and my SIL always has to clarify if the conversation arises.

People wince when they hear my second was 9lb11 and that's weeny in comparison. However he shot out like a rocket and did a fair bit of damage. Now that's tmi. 😁

She’s still delirious from new babyness, give her a break. Also, she’s probably used to people looking alarmed at the 11lbs birth weight and reassuring them she still has a vagina left.😂

MarmaladeIsMyJam Sat 29-Sep-18 10:35:05

‘Jeez, you must have a massive fanny’

🤣 Jeez, I love Mumsnet. Always the perfect response. 🤣

Just tell her it makes you uncomfortable discussing that if she brings it up again. 🤷‍♀️

I can see how after only 6 weeks she's still in shock that she gave birth to a huge baby without intervention and without tearing.

At 11lbs she deserves applause that her fanny is intact.

She probably says it as she's used to the wincing and horror stricken faces when she says baby was 11lbs, and people thinking her vagina resembles a train crash.

Just realised that I misread the OP - I thought it was 'tears' as in 'crying', not 'tears' as in damage. You can probably tell from that that I had ECSs both times 😁

@MarmaladeIsMyJam what a spiteful, nasty remark even if it was intended with humour, it is poorly thought through, insensitive and unkind. comments such as these play on the anxieties of pregnant woman women and new mothers, and poor body image after birth is a contributing factor for post natal depression. Shame on you.

Women are dammed if they do and dammed If they don’t. She’s shared a story which was a positive one. Share a bad story and you are accused of frightening mums to be. Women just can’t win.
But birth is a fact of life and good or bad women need to talk about it to process what has happened to them. Six weeks is very early for the post natal period and maybe it was slightly inappropriate for the situation l, but op just treat the woman with some kindness and forgive what you consider her social faux Paux.