I don't want to know about your (vaginal) birth

[PouchofDouglas]

Met a total stranger yesterday - work thing, quite formal. She has a new baby - 11lbs.
" Yes I had him totally naturally(!) - no tears or injuries' etc
She said this several times

Baby was 6 weeks, I know you go a bit nuts but jeez lady

Oops, wrong again - emergency CS, not elective.

Unclench your bum, Pins. Humour is permissible.

I don't know why some women feel like a superwoman because they had a good birth. It's not really a choice, is it?

When put and about with new born I was always amazed at the number of random strangers/ casual acquaintances that would ask for all gory details. Maybe it’s just become normal.
Smile and nod, then walk away.

I went through a phase like this...it was definitely the trauma talking. Mind you it wasn't 11 lbs and I didn't get through it intact, physically or mentally.

I think if you don't want to have to explain the state of your vag, its probably best not to mention mode of birth or weight of baby.

no. not funny. At all. Just equally as cruel as making ‘humorous’ comments about weight or some other aspect of appearance, that would be considered bullying.
But cruel remarks about a woman’s vagina, that’s perfectly ok?

I had an 11lb baby - people always ask how big the baby was (because he was the size of a 3 month old at 2 weeks) and then they always asked if it was ‘natural’ - she might just be expecting the question - I still get it 5 years later as he’s the size of an 7/8 year old.

It is when the comment wasn't made to the woman in question. It made me laugh anyway. You're going to break those pearls if you're not careful.

YABU she’s just given birth, give her a break!

I thought the massive fanny comment was hilarious. But then I have a sense of humour about life.

So is it ok if I make really vile comments about the appearance of an overweight person. So we can all have a good laugh. It wasn’t said to their face so it’s no problem, right?

Plus comments like this I believe just perpetuate the myths that women are some how ‘ruined’ after childbirth and the anxiety of first time mothers.
Have a horrific birth and you will be wrecked. Manage to birth a big baby without an absolute horror show and there is something freakish about your lady parts. Awful.

Actually I think it's important for women to share their stories. And speaking as one who had 2 c sections I am pretty impressed with her birth experience.

So many people ask

Really? I’d never ask this. I’d prefer to think all babies were delivered by the stork, frankly.

She's an over sharer. Some people are. I agree OP it's a bit disconcerting to be told this by a work colleague.

Can't see what's wrong with it. Surely it's widely known that a lot of babies are birthed through vaginas. And it's not like she described some injury because she didn't have any. There's nothing surprising or upsetting in that, unless you're squeamish about the circle of life and if I were on the other end of that conversation, I'd put it squarely in the "your problem" column.

I read it as her trying to answer questions before they are asked. 11lbs is big. Many would expect a birth like that to be complicated or a c-section. I expect she is both happy and relieved that it went well and I can't get het up that, tbh. Giving birth is one of the biggest events in your life and six weeks is very recent.

Bloody hell, 11lb is huge for a newborn. My second child was 9lb 4oz and he was enormous compared to his big brother, 6lb 12oz. I would be telling everybody and anybody about my fantastic achievement of delivering my child naturally. I don't think I'd go into details about the actual birth process though. Good on her. And back at work 6 weeks later? What a woman!

guessing she’s a. proud of vag delivery of a massive baby without injuries

It's called luck. Pure, unadulterated luck. It's not some kind of personal skill or accomplishment. Women in the same scenario who end up with injuries didn't do something wrong, they just didn't share in the same luck.

Only fools think being lucky is something to be proud of or boast about.

Ah come on @Pinsandneeedles It was funny. I'm sure @MarmaladeIsMyJam wouldn't actually say that to her. Bet we'd all think it though

I think it’s important to share your birth story if you want to and if you are asked. The OPs point is that she didn’t ask, she was just told. I feel violated when other women talk to me about intimate things, especially if I barely know them.

@MarmaladeIsMyJam

Are you a man? What an unpleasant misogynistic comment.

Of course not, it is not a competition - or a race to the bottom. You get a child at the end of it and you're all equal, ultimately.

But after 6 weeks, it will be on your mind for a while, no matter how well or badly the birth went.

What's weird is when people think they've has any influence over the tearing or similar. Implication being if someone else has torn it's their own fault or if only they'd tried harder it could have been prevented

It's great she didn't tear. Odd she shared but maybe the hormone and sleep deprivation and being at a work thing were all a bit overwhelming so close to the birth.

Do people really think that, though? I tore with my first but not my second, even though he was bigger. I neither felt proud or guilty about either. I think people can be funny about births and sometimes project their insecurities onto others.

pinsandneedles

But its not the same as commenting on somebody's appearance because nobody can see her vagina. And it's unlikely that she'll either measure her vagina, or compare the measurements with other vaginas, so how would she know if it was small, large or otherwise??