I don't want to know about your (vaginal) birth

[PouchofDouglas]

Met a total stranger yesterday - work thing, quite formal. She has a new baby - 11lbs.
" Yes I had him totally naturally(!) - no tears or injuries' etc
She said this several times

Baby was 6 weeks, I know you go a bit nuts but jeez lady

NB. I had never met her in my life

The amount of wizard's sleeve/massive fanny 'jokes' on this thread is fucking shocking. Grow up instead of tearing down other women.

This. And the same old "I've got a sense of humour crap" gets trotted out.

pinsandneedles

The woman herself could see a section scar/overhang though, so its not the same thing.

Nobody can see the whole of her vagina to assess its size/capacity! I personally wouldn't care if someone made a remark that I must have a large/small vagina/bladder/spleen etc as they're things that can't be outwardly seen and as long as they're functioning properly its irrelevant. And I'd know that they are making an assumption based on absolutely nothing. Vaginas are elastic and designed to stretch. The woman in question obviously had one that stretched well, lucky her!

Who cares if you never met her? What difference does that make

Come on, the massive fanny comment was hilarious

Shady, you're absolutely right. I hate the way people feel compelled to share birth horror stories with women who have yet to have children. I was lucky too - straightforward, vaginal births, which were a lot less painful and horrific than everyone except my mum had led me to expect. It's definitely down to luck but I suspect that those of us with positive stories are disinclined to share them for fear of being judged smug.

I dont know if its that offensive to me to be honest - surely it didnt offend you that much? Surely a 'oh wow, well done her' would have sufficed?!

I was so mental euphoric after I had such an easy birth with my second, that I told anyone that would listen. Blame the hormones.

Yeah wizard's sleeve is a pretty misogynistic term

She has a new baby 11lbs. Had him totally naturally, no tears or injuries

To be fair, that is well worth boasting about.

Another if you can’t see why the implication that a woman’s vagina is big/a wizards sleeve to a woman who has just delivered a large baby may be hurtful, just because her vagina isn’t on show, then that is about you and about your levels of empathy for post natal women. I don’t think you seem very sensitive.

Comments like this could be very distressing for post natal women to read.
After my own big (admittedly not 11lb but still good weight) baby, reading a comment like I must have a wizards sleeve probably would have made my depression even worse.
Thankfully I’m not post natal at the moment and a bit more robust. But clicking on a thread like this and seeing the cruel and crude comments people make really could have had an impact on me at that time. Even though I’m not the woman actually being discussed.

I had an 11lb-er 13 years ago and a male friend of my DH did actually ask me whether I had a massive fanny. Just joking, of course . Marmalade's comment momentarily brought back the cheek-burning shame I felt. Hilarious though right.

I had an 11lb baby 16 weeks ago, whenever a stranger meets him and comments on his size I always feel compelled to let them know he was born by csection, because you just know instantly what they're thinking. They didn't ask for details, but it can sometimes feel embarrassing having such a large baby, so you get in the habit of preempting and just providing the details up front

The comment wasn't made TO a woman. It was a throwaway joke on an anonymous online forum.

Must be the weekend and OP is bored being off School.

Who cares if you never met her? What difference does that make

Of course it makes a difference. Details of your delivery are not something to share with strangers.

My mother had a friend who could recount (and often did) the details of the births of her son's nearly 50 years later!

pins

I would certainly never pass such a comment to another woman, postnatal or otherwise.

And if you think I'm not very sensitive then that is about you. You don't know me (or the size of my vagina!), and therefore the assumptions you make about me don't concern me at all!

Blue - so there’s is no chance that on a parenting site, a post natal woman may click on this thread, read the comments about wizards sleeves and feel crap about it and feel as though she may be judged/affected/less desirable because she has just recently delivered a large baby?

Or should it be ok, because the comments are about another woman and not her personally?

I think you’re being a bit harsh - she was clearly just being proud of herself - so what!

Ugh actually I give up. This is the last I will say.
If other women think it’s ok to make crude and vile remarks about other womens genitals after they have just delivered a baby, and are possibly at the most vulnerable time in their life, then how the hell men can be expected to have any respect for us is beyond me.
So much for the sisterhood, if other mothers can’t have empathy for post natal women clearly there isn’t a one at all.
Just all carry on making vile jokes at the possible expense of another new mums self esteem.
And of course, you will say it’s in the name of humour, or it wasn’t directly at her so she should laugh along, hormones and all.

I honestly just want women not to tell me about their births at all, ever. Just because I'm a woman it doesn't make me care that you gave birth! However next time I will counter it with my hugest poo story

And the siz of women's vaginas shouldn't be brought up, that's not how they work and is misogynistic

Yeah, OK, Pins, it was a massively offensive, disgraceful and shocking thing to say and those of us who laughed at it should be forever ashamed of ourselves and do penance by wearing sackcloth and ashes for the rest of our lives.

Happy now?

Ah how eagerly we try to conform to female stereotypes forced upon us by men, big tits, small fanny, long hair etc. Let's us not speak of vaginal births and breastfeeding.