I don't want to know about your (vaginal) birth

[PouchofDouglas]

Met a total stranger yesterday - work thing, quite formal. She has a new baby - 11lbs.
" Yes I had him totally naturally(!) - no tears or injuries' etc
She said this several times

Baby was 6 weeks, I know you go a bit nuts but jeez lady

Well said pinsandneedles sometimes this forum depresses me. One minute it's solidarity sister the next it's she's got a baggy fanny.

If we can't be kind and empowering to each other how on earth do we expect men to be?

11lb natural birth, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it.

I hate the “put an extra stitch in for the husband”

as if we’re reduced to having nice tight holes for our husbands

Also pins, I didn't comment on any individual, yet you felt it was ok to make a personal remark about my levels of sensitivity. Did you think how that might affect my self esteem??
And I have pnd too!

So vagina = ample/ stretchable = vile, crude, undesirable according to quite a few here who seem consider themselves champions of feminism?
Whereas penis = substantial = generally good thing?
Weird.

Anyway you know the basis of most humour is the ability to appreciate more than one viewpoint on a subject.

Another I’m not having any more discussion about it. I’ve said my piece about the disgusting misogynistic comments on here.

But I will say that if you look at your first post, you cited my name engaging me in a discussion.
So you entering a discussion with me doesn’t really point towards me singling you out in a way that could impact on your self esteem. Neither have I called you any names or said anything discriminatory. I disagree with your attitude towards the terms used about women, and the use of humour such matters, and how they may impact on post natal women. That is all.

To say she should still be on maternity leave is similarly misogynistic. A woman with natural feelings talking about a completely natural occurrence shouldn't Elbe allowed to work, and in fact should be forced to take a pay cut (in case you aren't aware, maternity pay is usually less than 100%). And to top it off she'll then probably be relegated to slower career progression and lower salaries because she took time off. Really don't understand why women would make such an argument, shoot yourself in the foot much?

Honestly I can kind of understand why she was talking about her birth. Not everybody feels the need but if you are still recovering mentally / physically from something so massive and amazing it can be hard not to talk about it. And it's only a healthy biological process fgs , who cares if it involves her vagina. People need to grow up a bit ! I don't want to hear about people's holidays or dreams, it bores me shitless, but I listen.

And I'm afraid that you can't counter a birth story with a big poo story!

Bluelady 😁😁😁

It's called luck. Pure, unadulterated luck. It's not some kind of personal skill or accomplishment.

Well, I agree with this but she may just be amazed by her good luck.

catlady I made the remark about maternity leave and I stand by it.

Part of being at work is being able to behave professionally. Telling a complete stranger your intimate birth story is the very opposite of being professional. OP was there as an employee, not as a woman. She presumably didn't ask to hear the details and probably expected to have a work related conversation.

I would say it's rather presumptions of the woman to share intimacies with the OP purely on the basis of her gender.

So you stop being a woman the moment you walk through the door of your workplace. OK.

Not at all bluelady but everyone should retain normal bounds of decency in conversation. If OP had welcomed a birth conversation with a total stranger I doubt she'd be complaining about it.

Should've said "Oh wow, you have a nice stretchy vagina then!!".

In the immortal words of Katie Price: "You must 'ave a bucket!" 😂

Come on, the massive fanny comment was hilarious

Rolling on the floor laughing/spitting coffee all over my keyboard/woke the baby up/told DH about this thread and he's still convulsed etc etc etc

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S indeed.

What else was the woman expecting OP, as a stranger, to say?? "Oh, ok...er, congratulations?? He...slipped out so easily? You must be....very stretchy then?.....You.....got an 11lb baby out with no damage, you must have a big hole?" Seriously, what a bizarre thing to tell a stranger.

I don't see why anyone would discuss such details, unless asked. Even then I didn't go into specifics. Was just basic info, how long labour was, pain relief, and so on. No info about personal problems after, which I had a few of.

I did tell a lot of people that DS2, 9lb 12oz at birth, got stuck twice - and wriggled, giving me friction burns. I told him when he was 4, he said "Sorry, Mummy." 😂

My DS was 11lbs (and half an ounce!) and I guess I was quite proud of myself (long time ago he's grown up now) but if it's ever mentioned people tend to look horrified rather than impressed.

Having read MarmaladeIsMyJam hilarious reply I'm now concerned that they were wondering about the state of my fanny (full recovery thanks for asking)

Seriously though, it's an odd thing to talk about with someone you've just met even if it is a recent event.

YABU ffs - that IS a huge baby, it IS impressive to push it out and not tear (even though that’s not something she can control really) and 6 weeks postpartum she is still a bit traumatised. Don’t be such a miserable cow!

I don’t want to hear about a strangers vagina ffs

She wasn’t at work

I was at work

Oh you mean she was a customer or client of some sort? It’s still not the sort of thing you expect to have shared with you by a stranger.

Oh my goodness - why on earth would you be posting a thread about this? Move on you sound very intolerant