To want to hold my baby

[shelbeee]

Have name-changed for this so I don't have to censor my (prob quite over emotional) ranting..

My DD is 3 weeks old and we've come to PIL for the weekend. MiL invited 4 different groups of people over today to meet DD - the last group are still here. All day they have passed around my baby. I just had her back to feed, was just finishing and MIL is standing over me asking to 'have a turn'. She has since handed her to one of the friends' kids. I'm so desperate for them to go so I can hold my baby. I don't want to constantly feel like she's about to be taken off of me. She smells all wrong.

How do I say 'no actually' when people want to hold her?? They have done this every time they've seen her since she's been born and it leaves me feeling really anxious and wound up.

AIBU? Or hormonal?

God, this thread is making me anxious and my baby is over one and sitting next to me.

I'm a grandmother and I'm shocked to hear how some mothers/mil behave with new grandchildren, I do think they forget their place, which imo is definitely one big step back. It is most inappropriate to challenge the mother in such a passive/aggressive manner. I have met the type who are propriotal with grandchildren and I find it a very dislikable characteristic, you have my sympathy new mothers, we are not all like that.

sp. proprietorial

As I posted earlier, my DH didn’t step up to begin with for similar reasons to OPs. But I kept up the pressure in respect of MILs insistence on having regular visits with a range of her friends during the week and then insisting on weekend visits too, as “your father hasn’t seen the baby”, and other claims she made in respect of her “rights”....eventually DH realised he had to act, and not just stand there. He told PILs that these visits were no longer happening, that we would be pleased to see them, but we were calling the shots where our babies were concerned. They challenged him very aggressively to begin with and then he swore at them. 😱 And that was it. Don’t give up OP. As I said you’re the boss.

This makes me so anxious for Christmas when the babies father and family might come over. (We’re not together) babies due 5th December and maternal instinct is so strong at the moment I feel like I won’t want people holding her. May have to pre warn it won’t be a pass the baby free for all. He and maybe his mum will get a quick cuddle and that’s it! His family is huge with 14 uncles or aunts just on his dads side. I see them all showing up! :( I’m going to have to pre warn and be tough. My mums a (sometimes) massively over bearing Big character, she’s a bit of a nightmare MIL to my brothers wife however I’ve got her on side. Might need her as bouncer on the door! December baby indeed! :/

Be strong OP. You'll be so proud of yourself when you have been! Trust me

Having a child is when us non confrontation types have to learn to we have to stick our heads above the parapet and just 'do it' or 'say it'. It's for the good of our kids so you dig deep.

Get the ground rules laid out now while she's very young (ie you're numero uno when it comes to what goes on with your child) and you'll save yourself a lot of hassle over the next 10 years. Or more!