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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding Drama

298 replies

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 11:59

I’ve namechanged as this is very outing.

A close friend of mine has got engaged and has asked me to be bridesmaid. I, of course, said yes and have been happily helping her plan. She’s had some bridezilla moments but they are mainly with her MIL who is a bit crazy.

So the problem is with the bridesmaids’ dresses. I’m a firm believer of wearing whatever the bride wants you to. She has also asked us all to pay for our dresses but she told us upfront when she asked us to be bridesmaids that we would need to so we are fine with this (within reason). There are 6 of us and we all absolutely hate the dress she has picked. She has found it online with her DM and it is honestly the fuglest dress I have ever seen.

www.kissydress.co.uk/product/orange-organza-ruffles-sweetheart-floor-length-ball-gown

We’ve decided to tell her how we feel and drew straws. I obviously drew the short straw. So AIBU to tell her that we do not want to wear and pay for these monstrosities? How do I do that without upsetting her? She’s so stressed and I don’t want to add to that.

She wants them in yellow btw. Not a flattering colour on any of us

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SilverySurfer · 28/09/2018 16:30

No normal person would consider that dress to be anything other than fucking ugly. Tell her if she wants you and BMs to wear it, she pays. She should be paying anyway. I was a bridesmaid eight times, never bought my own dresses.

If she has chosen it to make you all look like crap so she looks amazing she's a crap friend I would tell her where to stick it and being BM.

Hope its a windup.

WinkysTeatowel · 28/09/2018 16:32

My 4 year old thinks it's lovely, she was wondering why I was laughing....

pinktissuepaper · 28/09/2018 16:37

She must be kidding or either this thread isn't real?

OP I think she is having you on

TemptressofWaikiki · 28/09/2018 16:40

I would chirpily tell her that she has an amazing sense of humour and that you all loved her wind-up and giggled all day about. Then ask her more seriously if she had an idea of what she was looking for. That way, she could play along with it if she has any self-awareness. Otherwise, you made it clear that this is a no-no.

And yeah, it is fuggly, a fire hazard and a scam company. Luckily, so far none of my friends have secretly hated me so much to inflict a shite BM dress on me. I also expect to get to choose and wear the kind of dress that suits me if I pay for it or otherwise the bride pays. I am continually gob-smacked about the kind of brides that try to impose their taste so much on their bridesmaids.

WhoWants2Know · 28/09/2018 16:43

Who in their right mind wants that thing at their wedding?

divafever99 · 28/09/2018 16:48

Was about to say suck it up, it's her wedding, then I clicked on the link! Shock Good luck tonight, I really hope she is joking.

LoniceraJaponica · 28/09/2018 16:51

I would just jokingly say something along the lines of "you're having a laugh. What would you really like us to wear?"

You could also mention that if she wants you to pay for your own dresses then you should have a say in the cost, and tell her that the dresses are beyond everyone's budget.

Then you can tell her that the dresses are hideous.

Then report back

Assuming this isn't a wind up.

TidyDancer · 28/09/2018 16:52

On second look, they are crazy expensive so you could say it's out of your budget and see what she says.

nicslackey · 28/09/2018 16:54

I love it

Rainbowtrain · 28/09/2018 16:59

Oh but this one to the right, in yellow, and you get to be Belle!

Wedding Drama
dingdongdigeridoo · 28/09/2018 17:10

Oh it’s not THAT bad. I think all it needs is a matching hat and parasol to complete the look.

It reminds me a bit of that episode of Friends where Rachel is a bridesmaid for her ex’s new wife.

Wedding Drama
BlueJava · 28/09/2018 17:14

I drew a sharp intake of breath when that dress came on screen!

ektomarie · 28/09/2018 17:22

Tell her you all feel it’s a scam website so if she really loves them, she needs to take the risk and pay £870 and hope the dresses show up. You will pay her back ONLY if the dresses actually arrive.

She won’t risk losing that much money.

SandAndSea · 28/09/2018 17:31

I can't imagine asking my bridesmaids to spend that much, or anything, on a dress for my wedding. She should be paying for the dresses and they need to be decent. (Unless there's a weird, Disney theme, but even then, she should be paying.)

Clarich007 · 28/09/2018 17:32

This post has to be a joke. !! Surely no one would consider these awful dresses

fc301 · 28/09/2018 17:34

Sorry I haven't RTFT.
She is being massively unreasonable. If she expects the BM to pay then they MUST be dresses that they would happily wear again on another occasion.

Clarich007 · 28/09/2018 17:37

Can you imagine what the wedding dress is like ?!!

EggysMom · 28/09/2018 17:42

I think the bride has actually chosen a different dress, but one that is a bit 'marmite' (love or hate). She's given you the link to this monstrosity so that whatever alternative she now offers, will seem very acceptable in comparison, and you'll all jump at the alternative.

t00dle00 · 28/09/2018 17:46

My BMs paid for their own dresses and chose their own dresses. The only thing I said was I wanted a specific colour (could easily be worn again) or they could wear one of their own if they wanted.

Everyone has different body shapes and I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable knowing that lots of pictures will be taken.

biscuitmillionaire · 28/09/2018 17:49

Those are Barbie dresses scaled up!!

Polkapjs · 28/09/2018 17:52

I’d be sending a message saying “you nearly had me there”. Indicating it’s terrible

GrumbleBumble · 28/09/2018 18:00

I would go for the the website looks dodgy, you hear so many horror stories so none of us are happy to pay out for a dress we haven't actually seen/tried on route.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 28/09/2018 18:01

I think she's winding you up to see you all panic.

Kisskiss · 28/09/2018 18:02

She’s obviously joking

Womaningreen · 28/09/2018 18:08

If it's real, you all drop out

If it's a wind up, it's caused a lot of stress, so drop out

Win win all round!