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AIBU?

Wedding Drama

298 replies

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 11:59

I’ve namechanged as this is very outing.

A close friend of mine has got engaged and has asked me to be bridesmaid. I, of course, said yes and have been happily helping her plan. She’s had some bridezilla moments but they are mainly with her MIL who is a bit crazy.

So the problem is with the bridesmaids’ dresses. I’m a firm believer of wearing whatever the bride wants you to. She has also asked us all to pay for our dresses but she told us upfront when she asked us to be bridesmaids that we would need to so we are fine with this (within reason). There are 6 of us and we all absolutely hate the dress she has picked. She has found it online with her DM and it is honestly the fuglest dress I have ever seen.

www.kissydress.co.uk/product/orange-organza-ruffles-sweetheart-floor-length-ball-gown

We’ve decided to tell her how we feel and drew straws. I obviously drew the short straw. So AIBU to tell her that we do not want to wear and pay for these monstrosities? How do I do that without upsetting her? She’s so stressed and I don’t want to add to that.

She wants them in yellow btw. Not a flattering colour on any of us

OP posts:

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Nightwatch999 · 30/09/2018 05:28

Or you tell her they are out of stock, only do certain sizes, etc etc

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LoniceraJaponica · 30/09/2018 08:12

People
At least read the OP's updates if you cba to read the entire thread.

As a "joke" I think it is a mean stunt to pull, and would feel inclined to tell the bride that you were only joking when you accepted the invitation to be a bridesmaid.

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justilou1 · 30/09/2018 08:15

I think you owe it to them all to pick dead salmon colored water taffeta with matching tablecloths and curtains.

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Onslow · 30/09/2018 08:16

Wait so were they all hiding in the bathroom whilst you chatted to the bride? That seems un-hinged...

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ToffeePennie · 30/09/2018 08:23

Hi bride,
I’ve spoken to all of the bridesmaids and none of us are willing to pay for a dress that cannot be worn again. It’s a unflattering shade and design that none of us think looks good. If you would prefer, here are some ideas (pics attached) of dresses that will suit us in the colour (maybe try lemon?) you have picked. Otherwise I’m afraid I will not be able to pay for this particular dress, the other bridesmaids have assured me the same. If you need me to step down as bridesmaid I understand.
Love me”

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LoniceraJaponica · 30/09/2018 08:29

Read the thread Toffee!

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Sallygoroundthemoon · 30/09/2018 08:32

What a cruel joke. They sound like complete bullies and I would be reconsidering my friendship with them.

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Sorry10 · 30/09/2018 08:45

Course it was a joke

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FlirtyRomanticToast · 30/09/2018 08:50

Cool story bro.
Coulda used a few vampires...

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VanGoghsDog · 30/09/2018 08:59

No twins? Lame

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TheFantasticFixit · 30/09/2018 09:22

Oh thank god for that. I see Mumsnet has become fertile ground for testing shit sitcom storylines. Was this for Miranda, or Mrs Brown’s Boys?! Hard to tell... 🤔

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pigsDOfly · 30/09/2018 10:57

Whatever the point of the 'joke' it's bloody pathetic, so yes Fixit it probably could be a plot for Mianda or Mrs Brown's Boys.

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Tahani · 30/09/2018 13:14

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BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 30/09/2018 20:03

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LaundrydilemMa · 30/09/2018 22:30

Chinny reckon

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ParanoidGynodroid · 01/10/2018 11:30

Wait... all the bridesmaids were squashed quietly into the bathroom for the evening before the big reveal? For how long... hours? That would have taken some organizing and patience, just for a crap and not very funny practical joke.

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kaffee1st · 02/10/2018 18:19

My advice - pray that they don't have one or more of the dresses in the sizes needed (ha) - or - you can gently explain that the bridesmaids are concerned that the dress's design will simply overpower the bride, not just at the ceremony - but in all of her very expensive professional photos, and that she might regret the decision later. Tell her you feel that the bride should be the center of attention, not the bridesmaids.. and the dress color is GORGEOUS, but the full skirt will simply drown out her own beautiful gown. I would NOT do this alone - I would have the bridesmaids ask to meet her for lunch - your treat. Tell her she needs a day off, and that you all need to talk with her about something very important.

When you speak with her - do it with love. Weddings ARE stressful - she may have a twinge of bridezilla - but likely because she is feeling stress at all levels: The enormous cost, trying to please everyone (MIL, etc), trying to make it a happy event for everyone, etc.

So I STRONGLY URGE you to make this ABOUT HER - and your MUTUAL CONCERN that the wedding be STRICTLY FOCUSED on the bride and groom.

Go armed with photos of dresses in the SAME COLOR scheme, in several price ranges - that you all agree would be elegant - and would only COMPLIMENT her -- like a frame on a painting, vs. the frame overpowering the content of the painting. The day is about THEM, not the bridesmaid dresses.

Be sure to have photos of weddings done in the same colors -- with elegant gowns - so that she can visualize the whole picture in her mind - and realize that her own beautiful gown will simply disappear amongst such full toile skirting.

If she doesn't go for it know that you can easily re-sell the gowns and recoup some of your investment. It's one day. If those gowns make her happy then that's what the day is about.

I would then suggest the bridesmaids speak to a local seamstress about how to detach the skirt from the bodice - to a more form-fitting straight skirt - or a "tulip bloom" style short skirt - that would work well with the top - and be comfortable for the reception.

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kaffee1st · 02/10/2018 18:22

** My suggestion about talking to a seamstress about coming up with a way to detach the skirt to clarify: I mean to wear the full complete gown for the ceremony and photos then the skirt could detach and become a less full, more comfy skirt for the reception. Perhaps there's a similar dress out there that does this already? I would do some searching!

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GerdaLovesLili · 02/10/2018 18:26

@kaffee1st You know absolutely nothing about this thread is real right?

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kaffee1st · 02/10/2018 18:54

@GerdaLovesLili - ah. Fake question/dilemma? Thanks for the heads-up.

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kaffee1st · 02/10/2018 19:03

@GerdaLovesLili found the last OP post practical joke by bride and bridesmaids.. If I were the OP - Id have been ticked off at the whole thing. What a rotten thing to do... If I were her- I'd ORDER that dress and WEAR IT to the wedding. :)

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pigsDOfly · 02/10/2018 19:17

Kaffee1st You do realise there is no wedding, don't you?

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GerdaLovesLili · 02/10/2018 19:55

No wedding, no bride, no bridesmaids...

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