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AIBU?

Wedding Drama

298 replies

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 11:59

I’ve namechanged as this is very outing.

A close friend of mine has got engaged and has asked me to be bridesmaid. I, of course, said yes and have been happily helping her plan. She’s had some bridezilla moments but they are mainly with her MIL who is a bit crazy.

So the problem is with the bridesmaids’ dresses. I’m a firm believer of wearing whatever the bride wants you to. She has also asked us all to pay for our dresses but she told us upfront when she asked us to be bridesmaids that we would need to so we are fine with this (within reason). There are 6 of us and we all absolutely hate the dress she has picked. She has found it online with her DM and it is honestly the fuglest dress I have ever seen.

www.kissydress.co.uk/product/orange-organza-ruffles-sweetheart-floor-length-ball-gown

We’ve decided to tell her how we feel and drew straws. I obviously drew the short straw. So AIBU to tell her that we do not want to wear and pay for these monstrosities? How do I do that without upsetting her? She’s so stressed and I don’t want to add to that.

She wants them in yellow btw. Not a flattering colour on any of us

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 28/09/2018 12:10

I don't think bridesmaids should ever pay for their own dresses, if you can't afford six, don't have six.
That dress is one of the most hideous things I've ever seen, but if the bride was paying and wanted it is wear it and laugh about it for decades to come. I would not spend my own money on it.

AuntBeastie · 28/09/2018 12:10

Is she definitely serious? If so YANBU, that is absolutely hideous.

Since you’re the one doing the deed I would pull the old ‘I hate to bring it up but some of the other girls aren’t very keen on the dress. How about [link to much less hideous dress]?’

Good luck!

Eeevvvveee · 28/09/2018 12:10

Omg... Why does that dress even exist?!!! 🤢🤢🤢

eggsandwich · 28/09/2018 12:11

I’m not paying for a dress I don’t at least like, if you want me to wear it then you will have to pay for it.

Job done.

Aebj · 28/09/2018 12:11

It’s horrible. If she doesn’t back down and you all wear it, can we have an after photo just for the laugh

TruffleShuffles · 28/09/2018 12:12

She can’t be serious? It’s horrific. I think the theory of wearing whatever you are asked to is perfectly fine when the bride is footing the bill but there has to be some sort of compromise when you are expected to pay for the dress yourselves. Saying that I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and I would never have made them wear something they hated or felt uncomfortable in.

MatildaTheCat · 28/09/2018 12:12

‘Sorry, none of us feel we could carry that one off. Can we send a few ideas?’

I see trouble ahead.

underneaththeash · 28/09/2018 12:14

It's vile!

Could you maybe tell her you think that the skirt of the dress might be too full and you may have difficulty standing next to each other in photographs without the skirts getting squashed.

Could you also have a look for something similar but less hideous that would look better as well as she clearly has no taste.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 28/09/2018 12:14

I really don't get why people put so much pressure on themselves, become bridezillas and lose their sense of humour and, inevitably, a few friends over what is essentially ONE DAY!

The only thing I cared about when I got married was the fact I was getting married and really happy. I didn't give a flying fuck what people wore. If my bridesmaids had said they hated the dress (which I bought BTW) I would have told them to get something they liked but stick to the colour scheme if possible. Hell, because my bridesmaids ranged from a size 6 to a size 22, I told them to do what they liked with the dress and my maid of honour went to town and made her dress even more lovely by changing the neckline, making it shorter and adding soft sleeves with the left over material.

I often get the impression the bridezilla weddings are the ones that don't last.

MintCassis · 28/09/2018 12:14

Google their reviews and show her some, that might help change her mind. That's a lot of fabric, detail and work for a made to measure dress for not very much money....

wafflyversatile · 28/09/2018 12:15

OMFG so it is.

Well.

Did someone hijack her email account?


How old is the bride?

MintCassis · 28/09/2018 12:16
klondike555 · 28/09/2018 12:16

Good god. Nobody could pay me enough to wear that hideous eyesore. As for actually paying for it myself, it'd be over my dead body.

Sunflowerr · 28/09/2018 12:16

Hahaha this is a wind up surely?

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 12:16

I’m seeing her tonight and I’m literally having an anxiety attack thinking about bringing this up. I’m so bad at confrontation and I’m a complete people pleaser but I just don’t think I can spend £150 to look like an absolute idiot

OP posts:
cheesefield · 28/09/2018 12:17

That dress is absolutely disgusting.

I'd withdrawal myself as bridesmaid.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 28/09/2018 12:17

I sincerely hope it's a wind up! I'd be embarrassed to even try and sell a dress like that to recoup some of the money.
I'd tell her you appreciate that you all agreed to pay for dresses but thought it would be something you could wear again. All bridesmaids agree that they would not want to pay for that dress, how about you have a night in with wine and choose something you're all happy to pay for? Or she pays if she really wants those dresses.
Find it hard to believe she really wants those dresses!

tlove · 28/09/2018 12:18

Surely she'll recognise the dress and know it's one of the six of you! Silly move to post this.

Bananalanacake · 28/09/2018 12:19

I am 36E bra. No way could I expose my bare shoulders in public as I need shoulder bra straps. Do any of the bridesmaids have big boobs and they can say they'll find it uncomfortable to get out of wearing it.

Sunflowerr · 28/09/2018 12:19

I believe this post is a wind up. But if I were in that position I'd be tempted to say that the consensus is that it's too expensive so you're not criticising her taste, and go armed with some cheaper yellow dresses you all do like to suggest as alternatives to drop a subtle hint of what you'd prefer.

MrsStrowman · 28/09/2018 12:19

Hopefully you'll get there tonight, she'll show you something lovely and crack up that you all thought she'd actually make you wear that monstrosity...

GimbleInTheWabe · 28/09/2018 12:19

I think the link @MintCassis attached is your best hope here. Show her the reams of bad reviews and say you're worried she won't get what she's expecting

Is this her style or were you surprised when she said you'd have to wear these?

CalonGlas · 28/09/2018 12:20

Is it one of those sites where the dresses are made in a sweatshop by children somewhere in Asia? That would be enough for me!

Can't you say that for such an important event you don't want to risk buying a dress none of you can try on first? What if you order six and none of you can wear them because they don't look like the photo? Even if you have to order one and it arrives so she can see it on one of you and is unspeakably awful it might be enough to bring her to her senses...

BlueUggs · 28/09/2018 12:20

How are you all going to fit in the venue with such enormous fucking hideous dresses??!!!

PatchworkElmer · 28/09/2018 12:20

This has to be a joke 😂

Just say that you won’t feel comfortable in the dress, and show her some alternatives? What about one of the multiway dresses- flattering for all body types.

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