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AIBU?

Wedding Drama

298 replies

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 11:59

I’ve namechanged as this is very outing.

A close friend of mine has got engaged and has asked me to be bridesmaid. I, of course, said yes and have been happily helping her plan. She’s had some bridezilla moments but they are mainly with her MIL who is a bit crazy.

So the problem is with the bridesmaids’ dresses. I’m a firm believer of wearing whatever the bride wants you to. She has also asked us all to pay for our dresses but she told us upfront when she asked us to be bridesmaids that we would need to so we are fine with this (within reason). There are 6 of us and we all absolutely hate the dress she has picked. She has found it online with her DM and it is honestly the fuglest dress I have ever seen.

www.kissydress.co.uk/product/orange-organza-ruffles-sweetheart-floor-length-ball-gown

We’ve decided to tell her how we feel and drew straws. I obviously drew the short straw. So AIBU to tell her that we do not want to wear and pay for these monstrosities? How do I do that without upsetting her? She’s so stressed and I don’t want to add to that.

She wants them in yellow btw. Not a flattering colour on any of us

OP posts:

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artemisdubois · 28/09/2018 12:48

Someone's having a laugh, and for your sake I hope it's you and that this thread is a wind up!

That dress is awful and the only people who could ever get away with wearing it are 16 year olds going to prom and beauty pageant contestants. It's really really bad, and it's not even bridesmaidy.

I absolutely wouldn't wear it to a wedding, even for my best friend. If this thread and the bride are serious, you are going to have to tell her fairly bluntly (and as soon as possible) that none of you like the dress and that you won't feel good wearing it.

The fact that she wants you to pay for it too?! I couldn't physically bring myself to spend my own money on something I found so hideous.

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katseyes7 · 28/09/2018 12:50

Are you in the UK? lt's usually (l think!) the bride who pays for the bridesmaid's dresses. And no, l wouldn't wear it either, even if she was paying for it. lt's hideous.

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YearOfYouRemember · 28/09/2018 12:50

O
M
G

Has she done it on purpose to make her look amazing?

You'll be a laughing stock from some immature people if you wear that dress.

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Bouledeneige · 28/09/2018 12:52

Thats hilarious! And awful.

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Figural · 28/09/2018 12:52

If that's what she wants six bridesmaids to wear, what's her wedding dress like? My first impression, apart from yuck was that you six are very likely to upstage the bride.

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pigsDOfly · 28/09/2018 12:52

Good grief that dress is bad.

Don't whatever you do order from that sort of website. Most of them are a scam so not only will you likely end up with a piece of rubbish that is unwearable but you will have paid 145 pound for the privileged.

You could, of course approach it from the perspective that the website is possibly dodgy or you could all be honest with her and tell her that hell will freeze over before any of you would be seen dead in that ghastly thing.

I think she's either winding you all up or she has serious taste issues. Whichever it is it's very cheeky to expect you to pay for your own dresses and not have a say in what they look like. Especially when she choosing something like that.

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Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 28/09/2018 12:53

Right. No. Poor you!

First, say you and the other bridesmaids are worried about these dresses and you've been nominated to talk to her so she doesn't have all of you calling.

Tell her that on the wedding day, you and the other bridesmaids will be making sure everything runs smoothly, helping organise guests during the photos and handing out favours etc. With dresses that size, it's going to make your tasks difficult. They will also take up so much space at the alter that it will look bet unbalanced with the groomsmen and will make all the photos difficult since you won't fit together easily. Then bring up the reviews on the site; the added cost and the poor sizing. Then say that you'd really like if she could choose some dresses you could all go somewhere to try on in the UK before buying so you can avoid all those problems.

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Loonoon · 28/09/2018 12:53

Bring it up gently - you are a little concerned about the online reviews, it might not look the same in real life and you could end up paying as much again in charges and alterations. Would it be safer to look for something local that you can be sure will fit and suit everyone?

I speak from experience - my DD ordered a dress from a similar website for her prom. It cost about £100 initially but I then paid about £150 to have it altered and custom fitted. It was worth it because she got a stunning and timeless one of a kind dress but for you and your fellow bridesmaids that isn’t the case.

Approach it very gently, hopefully what you say may trigger some doubts of her own.

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EK36 · 28/09/2018 12:53

Hideous.

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newdocket · 28/09/2018 12:56

Isn't posting the dress also going to be very outing!?

That said, the dress is totally horrible!

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diddl · 28/09/2018 12:59

Very few look good in strapless as it is!

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Gersemi · 28/09/2018 13:00

I also think it's really rude people suggesting that the bridesmaids should get together and offer alternative dresses. It's the wedding of the bride and groom. If you want to be a bridesmaid, you wear what they want you to wear.

Not if you're paying for it. And the danger with that attitude is that you end up with no bridesmaids. No self-respecting woman would be prepared to be seen in public in those monstrosities.

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DailyMailFail101 · 28/09/2018 13:01

Surely this is a joke?

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VanGoghsDog · 28/09/2018 13:01

I'm assuming she doesn't actually like any of you?

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PeridotCricket · 28/09/2018 13:03

Did she send you the wrong link.....

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Gersemi · 28/09/2018 13:05

I think you need to ask the bride what you've all done to make her hate you so much.

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TomHardysNextWife · 28/09/2018 13:06

She's winding you up.

Go along with it....... and say you're all so excited and what lovely taste she has got

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Jamiefraserskilt · 28/09/2018 13:07

How do you pee in something like that? It is a two woman job. Fine if you are the bride. I suppose you could stash a small person with a potty, Tudor style, under there......

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RangeRider · 28/09/2018 13:07

Omg... Why does that dress even exist?!!!
Where do you think the women who dress up as Disney princesses for a living get their costumes from?!
On the other hand, OP could get the bridesmaids to buy Disney character onesies instead, and on the wedding day when bride asks where the dresses are OP can say 'we thought you were going for a Disney-themed wedding and thought these would work better!'

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QueenOfMyWorld · 28/09/2018 13:07

That's vile sorry

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TaliZorahVasNormandy · 28/09/2018 13:07

Either it's a wind up, a mistake or one of you bridesmaids has really pissed her off somehow.

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Aprilshowersnowastorm · 28/09/2018 13:09

You will all look like a row of toilet roll holders!!

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/09/2018 13:09

I think I would go down the route of suggesting that these dresses are so eyecatching that they will totally take the focus off the bride.

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Knittedfairies · 28/09/2018 13:11

Sheesh, that’s one horrible dress. Tell her that 6 of those will definitely detract from/upstage the bride and will be a huge talking point for the other guests - she’ll disappear and will have a walk-on part at her own wedding instead of a starring role.

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BewarePregnancyHormones · 28/09/2018 13:12

Haha I actually like the yellow one! 😁
But not as a bridesmaid and I wouldn't be happy with paying £144!
My bridesmaids paid £60 for their dresses but they were short cocktail style dresses that they could genuinely wear again.

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