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Wedding Drama

298 replies

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 11:59

I’ve namechanged as this is very outing.

A close friend of mine has got engaged and has asked me to be bridesmaid. I, of course, said yes and have been happily helping her plan. She’s had some bridezilla moments but they are mainly with her MIL who is a bit crazy.

So the problem is with the bridesmaids’ dresses. I’m a firm believer of wearing whatever the bride wants you to. She has also asked us all to pay for our dresses but she told us upfront when she asked us to be bridesmaids that we would need to so we are fine with this (within reason). There are 6 of us and we all absolutely hate the dress she has picked. She has found it online with her DM and it is honestly the fuglest dress I have ever seen.

We’ve decided to tell her how we feel and drew straws. I obviously drew the short straw. So AIBU to tell her that we do not want to wear and pay for these monstrosities? How do I do that without upsetting her? She’s so stressed and I don’t want to add to that.

She wants them in yellow btw. Not a flattering colour on any of us

OP posts:
viques · 28/09/2018 12:33

The yellow one looks like walking phlegm.

Ask her if she really wants her wedding photographs to look as though someone has gobbed over the wedding party.

She has clearly got rampaging bridezillaitis and needs to be placed in isolation.

Also it should be made illegal to buy from a company called kissydress.

LuluJakey1 · 28/09/2018 12:33

Is it going to be on Big Fat Gypsy Weddings? What on earth is her dress like if 6 of you in these doesn't drown it? I can't believe this is real.

Namechangedzzz · 28/09/2018 12:33

Reading through the reviews of the website it will cost you more than £150!

Wedding Drama
Piffle11 · 28/09/2018 12:33

Oh this has got to be a wind up!! But if she's serious, you need to tell her that none of you is prepared to pay for something you won't be able to wear again. The bridge can pick God-awful bridesmaids dresses if she chooses, but she pays for the privilege. I think it's bad form to tell the Bmaids they are paying, and then dictating the exact dress they must wear.

MeadowHay · 28/09/2018 12:34

I also think it's really rude people suggesting that the bridesmaids should get together and offer alternative dresses Confused. It's the wedding of the bride and groom. If you want to be a bridesmaid, you wear what they want you to wear. You can decide the bridesmaids dresses at your own wedding FGS.

MeadowHay · 28/09/2018 12:35

Piffle I agree - but in this situation OP already agreed to that. She shouldn't have if she was going to place conditions on what kind of dress she would wear/buy.

Namechanger86745 · 28/09/2018 12:35

The more I read the comments the more I think she might be winding us up. She usually has really good taste. But I’m leaning towards that she is serious.

I like the idea of saying that all the dresses won’t fit in one photo. That would really bother her. She is obsessed with photographing everything

OP posts:
FullMetalRabbit · 28/09/2018 12:36

I would read these too - I'm taking the 5 star review with a pinch of salt

Piffle11 · 28/09/2018 12:37

I'd never heard of Bridesmaids being expected to pay for their own dresses until I watched the US Bridezilla series: I think in the UK the Bride and Groom usually is expected to pay. I've never known any Bridesmaid amongst my family, friends and colleagues who had to pay for her own dress.

FullMetalRabbit · 28/09/2018 12:37

apologies, didn't see that someone had already posted link

TatianaLarina · 28/09/2018 12:37

Bridesmaids should never buy their own dresses unless they are choosing them themselves and will definitely wear again (even then it’s v dodgy).

People must stop bankrolling OTT weddings that the bride and groom simply cannot afford.

Merryoldgoat · 28/09/2018 12:37
Piffle11 · 28/09/2018 12:39

@MeadowHay Yeah, but if the Bride usually has good taste, maybe they thought they were on safe ground? It's not just a 'yuk, but if it's what X wants' - it's actually revolting. They are actually going to get laughed at. And with what other posters have added, it looks like the whole thing is going to cost upwards of £200, for a dress that isn't going to suit anyone and may not fit.

explodingkitten · 28/09/2018 12:39

I think that it is super cheaky to say to someone: "look, I'm so important that I get to decide what you wear and you have to pay for it as well just because it's my wedding".

justilou1 · 28/09/2018 12:40

I have come to the conclusion that if she is serious about this, she actually secretly hates you all. Those dresses are fucking hideous!!!

BlueEyedPersephone · 28/09/2018 12:40

@MeadowHay how is it less rude to suggest a friend pays £150 for a dress they wear for less than a day and never wear again, if a bride wants to dictate a specific dress they pay.

Piffle11 · 28/09/2018 12:41

@TatianaLarina completely agree.

DarlingNikita · 28/09/2018 12:41

Isn't the usual form that if bridesmaids pick their own dresses they pay for them themselves; if the dresses are picked for them the wedding party pays for them?

I don't mind the dress actually

dinkydonky · 28/09/2018 12:42

Honestly I'd just treat it as a joke. Massive laugh at the dresses and make it obvious you think she's joking. "Hahahaha! You had us going for a moment there" etc. Or find something even more out there and ridiculous and send it back with "or how about this one". Obviously it needs to be SO out there she cannot think you're being serious although I would have interpreted the orange one as such too so be careful

FairNotFair · 28/09/2018 12:42

It would look better with a massive bonnet. Suggest that.

GreenthoughtInAGreenShade · 28/09/2018 12:42

Is part of The Wedding going to be the provision of enormous toilet rolls for you all to sit on top of?

wafflyversatile · 28/09/2018 12:43

Oh! Oh!

Just say you ordered the dresses in one go. Then that they never arrived. A week before the wedding say you're going to have to give up on them ever arriving and get something else. Then pull out the dresses you've all agreed and bought now!

LuluJakey1 · 28/09/2018 12:43

At least it's something you can wear again. Wink

hellsbellsmelons · 28/09/2018 12:45

Surely those dresses will completely upstage the bride!??
They are awful but so puffy etc.... and in yellow!?
You are supposed to 'minimise' bridesmaids, not make them the star attraction.
Could you go in with that sort of analogy?
She should be the star in her big lovely wedding dress and she should not have the bridesmaid dresses competing with that.
You need to go in with some alternatives.
Maybe stick to the yellow theme

minimal and pretty
long one
nice winter colour
something complimentary to the bridal gown?
more yellow
Too different???
do love this colour

TheGlitterFairy · 28/09/2018 12:47

Crikey! Agree with HellsBells - turn it around to make her the belle of the ball rather than the yellow dresses!! Good luck!

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