AIBU - DP and shaving legs

[LegHair]

Am long time lurker and first time poster.

Was having a bath this evening, with DP sat in the bathroom chatting. Somehow ended up in a row about me not shaving my legs “because you know I like it and we should make the effort for each other”.

Haven’t shaved legs in some time, because quite frankly I have better things to do with my time and rarely wear shorts or dresses that show off my legs. Always shave on holiday or when wearing dresses etc.

My point is that I want to be made to feel sexy and loved no matter what I choose to do with my body which is how I try to be with DP in the relationship.

So mumsnet jury - who IBU?

I'm with you all the way. Both in my head and with regard to other people. I can't reconcile myself to my own ageing face, though. I appreciate that makes me a hypocrite and I should be able to walk the walk but I simply can't. I don't agonise over it but I do feel my heart sink when I look in the mirror sometimes.

Anyway, enough of me. It's good to hear Germaine is still beautiful.

To me, it's very clear that it's a demand of society. I have a lot of German friends and have spent time in Germany with them. Being clean is normal but so is body hair on women. No one seems to judge it as they do here. I remember being really self conscious about buying a bikini to swim at my friend's parents' house because my body does not fit the expected norms we are pushed in the UK; a neighbour stopped by and later said to my friend how gorgeous I am, despite all my angst about my body hair and figure.

Yet all my US friends, male and female, seem to see extreme topiary as completely normal and the untouched human body is not to be seen, however cleaned and brushed. The UK is going down this route and it's a headfuck.

To me, maintenance is keeping my body clean and healthy. Body hair doesn't enter into that. Yes, I get rid of my postmenopausal goatee and moustache but mainly because it causes spots and abscesses. I do trim my pubes for summer comfort as I have a healthy bush, but never remove them. I clean my teeth to keep them healthy; I keep my nails clean and trimmed to stop dirt collecting and scratching myself. I wish my grey hair would hurry up and spread so I can play with bright colours without bleaching damage.

And if you want to see how society demands shape our views on body conventions, look up Victorian hardcore porn on the Internet. Full bushes, hairy legs and luxurious pits all over the place.

@toomanypaws, well that’s my afternoon sorted looks up Victorian porn

Blue
How heartbreaking that your heart sinks when you look in the mirror :(

This is what I mean! You should look in the mirror and see all the days you squinted at the sunshine, all the times you smiled with your kids and all the tears that fell because you have loved and lived.

You should be able to map your life and be so fucking happy with what a badass you are!!! Life is not for sitting perfectly or staying pretty, it’s for living and loving. Your beauty comes from within you, just like Germaines and you should be aware of it!!

Rock your age and love yourself.

I know you're right - as well as being very kind - and my husband says he thinks I'm beautiful still so it's not all bad!