To think some people on MN must have magic money trees?

[CoughLaughFart]

Am I the only thinking there are an awful lot of MNers who have no concept of others being less well off than they are? I’ve noticed a few times, but it seems to be getting really bad lately.

Two threads that spring to mind are the passport thread (where the OP’s partner is being pressured to get one so that he can volunteer for a work trip) and the holiday fall-out thread.

TBF most people on the passport thread seem to get that spending £75 on a new passport when you can’t afford to go abroad isn’t very sensible. However, there are quite a few posts along the lines of ‘Just get one, it’s not that expensive’ - even someone saying the OP’s partner should just ‘grow up’ and buy one and ‘that’s what savings are for’. Similarly, on the holiday thread a number of people are advising ‘Book the first flight out’ or ‘find different accommodation’, without a thought that holidays are generally expensive anyway and that effectively booking a second one might be beyond some people’s means.

These are specific current threads, but it seems to be a general attitude in some corners. ‘Get a cleaner’. ‘Get some nice wine and chill in the garden’ (to someone depressed because they’re skint and live in a rough area).

I’m grateful to be in a decent enough position financially, but I’d never simply assume anyone else was. Don’t people at least consider the potential for different circumstances before offering their ‘helpful’ advice?

My personal favs are :

get a cleaner
have spa weekend
get a doula

and the old - rent out your spare room

I have to say that I feel pretty lower class on here at times even though DH and I both have professional jobs and we have a comfortable life

In general I do think a good percentage of MN’ers have nice amounts of money - well that’s how it seems sometimes anyway

I'm a huge fan of people looking at getting nannies or au pairs. I don't think there are any anywhere near my area!

I agree it is thoughtless when people post like this.

Maybe get some counselling?

Hmm....yes, at minimum £45 an hour.,

macosie - and “get a night nurse to look after your baby one night to give yourself a break”

I agree or can. you just move area , even if financially you could its just not simple moving, i do love the holiday threads though people spending £40,000 on holidays/yeR etc and then smugly say its becausd they prioritise holidays well yes sp do i but tjats double my yearly income

Whenever someone humble rags on MN "I'm lucky in that DH has a good salary" I wonder if they're married to an actual MP, cos "good" on MN seems to be 100,000+.

Which as someone will tell you within 3 posts "doesn't actually go far in London".

£75 is a week’s food budget to a lot of families and saying that’s what savings are for!’ Not a lot of people have savings as they are struggling to make ends meet!

Realistically a six pound bottle of wine for a Friday night is achievable for most, a cleaner depends on your priorities, we pay twenty pounds a week for ours, friends who think this is 'fancy' smoke and pay nearly ten pounds a day for a box of cigarettes but always say they are broke. I personally don't think the passport thread was about money, the OP didn't want him to go, he could've said no but didn't he said he would like to go but didn't have a passport, if the trip isn't for at least six months most people can save £75 in that time, it's a couple of pounds a week if that. I think the issue is people derail threads by making situations about money that aren't, because they'd find the money if it was for something they prioritised.

It's one of the things I like about MN, there aren't many places in British life (or perhaps anywhere?) where people who wouldn't even notice if they dropped £75 and people for whom it's a week's income 'meet'.

most people can save £75 in that time, it's a couple of pounds a week if that.
Case in point!

Completely agree OP.

I recently read a thread on the amount people spend at Christmas and for birthdays and I was like

It wouldn't matter how much I put aside during the year I would still never have this amount to spend for these occasions. Surely it's the thought that counts (something that you know they would like) than the cost.

I'm convinced that there are lots of posters who just about have enough to live on, have modest holidays and minimal treats who don't post about their financial circumstances because they don't 'belong' on the skint threads but not live in the world of 10k holidays either.

Was anyone on the thread where people were asked for their annual household income? That made me feel like a pauper 😂. I wpuld say 90% of the people that replied were earning in the triple figures a year I was shocked! I notice it a lot on threads. I sometimes click off of threads about money they really make me feel like I'm failing at life and I know I'll get too depressed reading them. I just did it a minute ago.

they'd find the money if it was for something they prioritised.

But wasn’t the fact that the OP and her husband didn't prioritise passports the whole point of that thread?

@MrsStrowman £80 a month for a cleaner can be almost 10% of your income on minimum wage. So it's not really a matter of priorities!

I had friends who couldn’t afford a £6 bottle of wine. Had to go around the supermarket with a calculator to make sure they stuckto £30 a week for two adults and a baby as they were both unemployed. It’s not always do simple as prioritising sometimes it’s jyet trying to survive.

Yanbu.
Get a cleaner.
Get an au pair.
Spa weekend.
Get driving lessons.

It’s always interesting to see the “how much do you spend a month on” threads. Where people are spending thousands on clothes every months, or hundreds on hair and make up per month. And those same people cannot understand someone saying they haven’t bought new clothes in years. And the idea that when you’re down you should be able to find money to treat yourself. I’m checking under the cushions for change for milk, where the hell do you think I have money for treats?

Get driving lessons.

Oh God, that one drives me nuts. ‘I can’t afford a car and the insurance would be astronomical’. ‘But it’s a life skill!!!’

I think people's definition of skint varies massively. For people used to a big budget they probably consider themselves poor if they only get a couple of holidays a year whereas to others it's being cold and hungry. I remember on a different board a poster talking about how much she'd sacrificed luxuries to be a SAHM and they were so skint that they would only to going to Disneyland Paris and a week in a holiday cottage that year. She could only afford to buy the kids clothes at next too. Many on there were worried about paying the gas bill and keeping everyone fed, so as you can imagine there was an orchestra of the world's tiniest violins.

@katedotness1963 but a bottle of wine on a Friday is achievable and a cleaner apparently.

Just Chuck him out and cope.

I remember one tjread about people having a "running away " secret stash of money , one poster suggested we should all be ssving £200 /month as though its that easy ! For me £200 is a large part of our monthly budget.