To think some people on MN must have magic money trees?

[CoughLaughFart]

Am I the only thinking there are an awful lot of MNers who have no concept of others being less well off than they are? I’ve noticed a few times, but it seems to be getting really bad lately.

Two threads that spring to mind are the passport thread (where the OP’s partner is being pressured to get one so that he can volunteer for a work trip) and the holiday fall-out thread.

TBF most people on the passport thread seem to get that spending £75 on a new passport when you can’t afford to go abroad isn’t very sensible. However, there are quite a few posts along the lines of ‘Just get one, it’s not that expensive’ - even someone saying the OP’s partner should just ‘grow up’ and buy one and ‘that’s what savings are for’. Similarly, on the holiday thread a number of people are advising ‘Book the first flight out’ or ‘find different accommodation’, without a thought that holidays are generally expensive anyway and that effectively booking a second one might be beyond some people’s means.

These are specific current threads, but it seems to be a general attitude in some corners. ‘Get a cleaner’. ‘Get some nice wine and chill in the garden’ (to someone depressed because they’re skint and live in a rough area).

I’m grateful to be in a decent enough position financially, but I’d never simply assume anyone else was. Don’t people at least consider the potential for different circumstances before offering their ‘helpful’ advice?

TBH I thought the worst (or possibly best) example of this was a poster who refused to believe that there were women and girls who couldnt afford tampons or pads. That was awful to watch. A whole thread of MNers saying yes 80p for value pads is a lot if you dont have it and the OP steadfasdtly saying it didnt happen.

Or the "Why don't you just get a better job? It's not that hard".

Oh, the ol' 'priorities'. £80/month for a cleaner but surely, everyone who cannot afford that is a smoker .

Realistically a six pound bottle of wine for a Friday night is achievable for most, a cleaner depends on your priorities, we pay twenty pounds a week for ours,
Realistically, most people don't have £104 a month just hanging around with nothing to do with it. Realistically.

Haha this thread reminds me of some distant family friends. Him moaning and moaning they are skint and money is really tight (after buying a2.5 mil mansion) because of all the renovations they had to do and how he gets how x(self employed,bad back no income for a while) is feeling. Most of the audience working class,eye rolling galore. Then he continues with "at least we're off to the Caribbean for two weeks to take our minds off things!" .

I think there are degrees of skint,or at least how people view it.

1. I'm skint because I can't buy whatever the hell i want. Get over it,neither can 90% of the population.
2. I'm skint because the money I have is earmarked for specific purposes. Good for you,but you're not skint,you're being responsible. Welcome to adulthood.
3. Truly and really skint,watching every single penny.

Just make sure he pays child maintenance.

Never mind said ex may be on minimum wage. X% of fuck all is still fuck all.

Most of these suggestions are made without posters knowing the OP's full financial situation though, aren't they?

Surely MN isn't only for people earning minimum wage, or struggling financially, so why should a poster always assume the OP is skint before offering advice?

It stinks of jealousy tbh.

Sometimes, yes some posters do seem to make it seem like money is no object for them and therefore the same must be true for everyone else.

However if everyone assumed every poster was cash strapped with narry a penny to spare, then the rich and wonderful array of suggestions may be missed.

While it might be a running joke of get a cleaner, have a spa day etc., maybe the OP hasn't thought of that or doesn't really think they can justify it. Other posters rallying round saying actually, if a tidy house is something you want it's totally okay to spend your money in getting that, and it's okay to cut back on other things to do that. Same with a spa day, other people agreeing that it's okay to spend time and money on yourself.

Yes, some suggestions from posters may need some money or savings. But the poster is not obliged to assume every person is on their last penny before offering a suggestion.

Have you watched 'how to shop well for less' programme on the BBC. They've had people on spending £500 plus in one go on clothes and £200 on a single pair of shoes for example.

And you look at them, their house, their car and go 'how the fuck do you afford that'?!

We are above average and that's fantasy money to us.

But then I wonder how all these handbag shops with £300 + bags keep going. How many fucking handbags do people buy? Who are these hoards of people that prop up the entire market.

I don't get it.

Don't have a pet if you can't afford the insurance

Sometimes people have pets and lovely jobs and then poverty/job loss/disability happen and they can't afford pet insurance.

But god forbid someone say they actually want to rehome the dog either.

The prepping threads. Making out your mad not to be able to stockpile hundreds of pounds worth of food etc.

Like a PP, this forum is one of the (to me) rare places where people from very different worlds interact. I am very fortunate (and know it), but needed it spelt out to me how exactly someone could be working and still broke, experience period poverty, need to use a food bank and get things to cook using only a microwave and kettle etc.

And it never ceases to amaze me how many posters on MN seem to send their children to private school... I know that 7% of the population is privately educated (I have looked it up several times) and surely if you have to find fees of 20K or whatever, you have better things to be doing that MNing, like making money!!

'Get counselling'
How exactly? It's £50 an hour private and there's a 18 month wait list on NHS!

I don't believe most of the bragging on here

There's skint and there's actually skint.

I've been on both ends of the scale.

I'm now somewhere in the middle.

It's literally not as easy as people think.

Sometimes six quid for a bottle of wine is ten packs of super noodles.

It's super fucking mentally hard worrying when you are literally worrying about how you will eat for the month. Never mind throwing kids into the mix.

It's mostly BS. Average household debt, not including mortgages, is 8K. If you're lucky enough to owe nothing, then your neighbour owes 16K.

I just had to spend my last £0.11, in coppers, on a loaf of reduced bread as that's all the food I can afford for the next few days. Luckily I have food in the cupboards. What bugs me is when posters like myself say these things and everyone assumes you have friends or family you can go to for help or for handouts. Nope!

I'd love new shoes a cleaner, or a holiday, but no chance.

'Why not retrain for a better paying job?' Yeah, take on loads of debt and magic up childcare. Just like that.

And my personal favourite, 'Move to a cheaper area'.

Oh yes. The split up and you'll get child maintenance and he'll have to step up parent every other weekend.
LTB is mostly justified, but getting child maintenance and shared parenting is like gold dust. (I'm a minority who has always had maintenance but zero contact).

"Just stick it in the garage"

Said when the OP has given absolutely no indication that they actually have one.

What bugs me is when posters like myself say these things and everyone assumes you have friends or family you can go to for help or for handouts. Nope!

Oh, yes! 'Surely you have someone you can borrow from/get food/childcare/etc.' A lot of people don't because when you're really poor, usually everyone around you is in the same boat.

The best one I've heard a few times is an OP complaining they don't have much money and struggle every month, sometimes just needing a bit of a moan and you always get a few telling OP to go and retrain or go and do a degree because it's oh so easy and they just need to get a better job. Ok thanks for that!

How much!?!? 20 fags. Nearly a tenner? Crikey, sympathy to all smokers. How do vaping costs compare?