Holiday fall out

[Starleaf]

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

[spinabifidamom]

Let it go. Seriously.

[MarthaArthur]

Do you think somethings triggered this if shes been happy all day? A phonecall or email maybe? If not make it up with her or at least leave the ball in her court.

[Starleaf]

I woke first this morning. Was on balcony and friend came out to smoke. I said good morning and she sort of grunted GM back. I asked her if she really wanted this to be the end of our friendship. She said yes and put money on the table telling me it was for the cake. I won't take the money, it's still on table under her ash tray. I'm still trying to understand why it's come to this. I realise I was in the wrong for being pissed off and leaving the bar the way I did, and have tried to tell her but she just says she's not interested. Before she went inside she said I could join them for dinner later if I wanted. Said she'd be civil. I thanked her for the invite, don't know what to do, may be easier to stay in room as its going to be very strained for us all?

[Dollymixture22]

This is about more than the bar.

She is happy to treat you like this, she isn’t a very good friend.

Go out p, enjoy the last of your holiday. Treat yourself to a nice lunch. Don’t lock yourself in your room and play the martyr. Someone has to be a grown up here.

The friendship might be over. At th end of the holiday is you want to cam apologise if you have hurt her and say your door is always open, but say goodbye.

If the girls are going along with this there might be something you have done or said which she is reacting to, but you aren’t a mind reader,

GO out now - stay out. No mopping around

[MyKingdomForBrie]

She's being a complete twat. Even if you had stormed off shouting rather than being mildly annoyed like it sounds you actually were, she is hugely overreacting.

Either way I would just spend the rest of the hols enjoying myself solo as best as you can then when you fly home accept that that is it, friendship over.

[Aaaahfuck]

She sounds like she is really over reacting especially since you have tried to talk this morning. Is she normally this stroppy and dramatic. If I was you I'd be starting to get pissed off she was spoiling my holiday. It sounds like you make quite a bit of effort on her birthday and then she was already in a huff before going out.

[MardyArabella]

I’d just leave it op if she doesn’t want to talk to you. You’ve tried your best to sort out the issue. Maybe when you’re back in the UK and tensions have gone down she’ll realise she’s being over dramatic.

[FanciedAChangeToday]

Sounds to me like she is back tracking a bit and realising she acted like an idiot. Giving you the money so she doesnt feel indebted to you for the nice thing you did ("and I EVEN had to buy my OWN cake" in the retelling of the story to others) and saying you can join them for food ("Well I DID invite her out for our last meal to smooth it over but she didnt turn up - the kids were SO disappointed") so yes I agree with others, go and have a great last day but make sure you invite them to go with you, especially her children, so you have proof you tried

[Cloudyapples]

Sorry if I missed this op, but how many days if the holiday have you got left?

[TownHall]

You getting pissed off and leaving the bar you did was ridiculous and immature but you've apologised so it seems harsh that she hasn't forgiven you.

Is it the first time you've been pissed off with her?or is it something that happens from time to time.

[Cloudyapples]

She didn’t get pissed off and leave the bar - her friend turned sour in the bar and wanted to leave so she left with her. Her friend was the one who suddenly got annoyed.

[Cloudyapples]

Sounds to me like she is back tracking a bit and realising she acted like an idiot. Giving you the money so she doesnt feel indebted to you for the nice thing you did ("and I EVEN had to buy my OWN cake" in the retelling of the story to others) and saying you can join them for food ("Well I DID invite her out for our last meal to smooth it over but she didnt turn up - the kids were SO disappointed")

This 100 percent - she’s trying to paint you as the bad guy by back tracking.

[Cloudyapples]

Also wondering what her kids did for her birthday? As they’re hardly young children, wonder if they had a bit of a moan at mum or she got annoyed because they didn’t make an effort and you did, resulting in a fall out with them which she’s now taking out on you?

[Knittedfairies]

I wouldn’t join them for dinner, but neither would I stay in my room. Leave the money for the cake on the table and go out and have as good a day as you can. It may be the end of a friendship, but friends shouldn’t be this much work.

[Cloudyapples]

Oh my mistake re read the op and realised you left first. That was a little silly to get annoyed, but she is overreacting.

[ZeroFuchsGiven]

I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel

None of us were drunk my friend doesn't drink

Why did you order her a bottle of fizz if she doesn't drink?

Anyway it sounds to me like you probably embarrassed her walking into a bar and heading straight to the dance floor to dance on your own leaving her and her kids stood there like idiots.

[mypointofview]

I would ask her if she could tell you if this is the last straw and your behaviour is something she's been finding difficult for a while. Otherwise you don't know what to make of it.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Why would they have to be stood there like idiots? Surely any of them could have gone to the bar and got a drink!!

[MiddleClassProblem]

None of us were drunk my friend doesn't drink

Why did you order her a bottle of fizz if she doesn't drink?

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[ursuslemonade]

It's maybe only me but I find this whole 'It's my birthday and you are all here to please and celebrate me and do as I want' thing really pathetic. She is a grown woman, not a kid in reception. And throwing a tantrum because you had the gall to dance in a bar for 3 mins...
She sounds unhappy with something in her life and is taking it out on you.
How long is the holiday?

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Why would they have to be stood there like idiots? Surely any of them could have gone to the bar and got a drink!!

[loubluee]

Sounds like they didn’t really want to go out to the strip that night, but felt they had too/ where you pushing it? In all honesty most places like that aren’t fun if you don’t drink (personally I think they are that bad that you can only enjoy them drunk, sober you don’t go to them, find a nice decent place instead). Maybe they felt you wanted to go so they had too. Hence not being able to find a place they liked, then you went straight to the dance floor and left them and she felt like that was the indicator of the rest of the time there. So she wanted to leave instead. But then you got pissed off, and walked in front leaving them behind, which showed your annoyance.

Just make up the both of you. How long do you have left?

Just trying to see it from the other point of view. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[crispysausagerolls]

I don’t understand wtf has happened here! Unless it’s a case of you actually being sozzled and obnoxious but misremembering events, your friend sounds wildly unreasonable!

[Ginorchoc]

Is there a chance you’re the dominant friend who takes control in the friendship and you arranged the whole day, which on the surface sounds great but did she have any say at all it what she wanted to do.

I’m only saying as we have a friend in our group who makes a big effort for people but she completely pushes her thoughts on everyone and gets offended if people don’t tow to her line. After one holiday two friends don’t speak to her anymore and she doesn’t understand the reason why, and thinks her domineering behaviour is just her being helpful. Obviously this might not be the case here but just a suggestion.

Good point re buying the alcohol if she doesn’t drink?

[purplecorkheart]

Who decided about the dance bar? How long is left in the holiday?