Holiday fall out

[Starleaf]

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

[Havaina]

I know this isn't the point of the thread, but you already went for dinner. Why have they gone for dinner again?

They didn't. They went for drinks after dinner.

[Celestia26]

ScarlettDarling Thanks! Realised I misread the OP

[fizzthecat1]

Given it's her birthday and she has her children with her did you not even ask her what she wanted to do tonight? Going to a dance bar probably isn't ideal with children in tow

"It's my birthday waaaaAA" sorry but she's not 5 years old. It's pathetic behaviour for an adult.

[Havaina]

Was it not very rude of you to strop off and spoil her birthday evening with a huff? She just wanted to leave. She's allowed to leave.

OP DIDN'T STROP OFF OR HUFF.

[Dollymixture22]

Sounds like you are as bad as each other.

She is annoyed because she didn’t like the bar you chose and then you stormed off in a huff because she wouldn’t stay.

You are annoyed because you spent all day doing what she wanted and she would let you stay in the bar she wanted,

You are both acting like children.

Apologise, laugh it off, say you both had a few drinks too many. If that doesn’t work book into another hotel and enjoy the rest of the holiday.

Don’t go away with her again, you aren’t a good match.

[mypointofview]

I've read it like this:

OP hears a song she likes and enters the bar without dialogue. Heads straight to the dance floor, beckoning her friend to follow.

Friend doesn't follow.

After the song, friend says she'd like to leave.

At this, OP strides out and heads back. Her friend follows with her kids. They go to a market.

OP does not explain why the friend and kids got back to the apartment before her.

I'd be very miffed if you wrecked the evening and put my kids through a scene.

[mypointofview]

havina

She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following.

The OP left first :)

[Alwa]

Course she's the U one. Her kids aren't in school

[VladmirsPoutine]

Just you, her and her two late-teen dc? That sounds like an awful dynamic from the get-go but who can say, perhaps you're almost family.

That said, I think she is being OTT. If she has declared the friendship finished because of this then I suspect you should make peace with that or give it some time. Being away on holiday can oftentimes amplify emotions due to being out of one's comfort zone, so to speak.

[Havaina]

mypoint fair point, but it was the friend who said she was leaving

[MortyVicar]

OP hears a song she likes and enters the bar without dialogue. Heads straight to the dance floor, beckoning her friend to follow.

But they'd already gone into the bar, before (although not long before) the song started playing.

I think it's a difficult one. Some people would be very miffed if the person they were with didn't go all out to do special things, this friend maybe would have preferred to choose her own itinerary and felt that the OP was being overbearing. Or maybe someone she was expecting a message from didn't come good and she took it out on the OP.

It does sound very OTT though to announce to OP that she'd ruined the birthday and the friendship is over.

[SoyDora]

Havaina before picking apart my post, re read the OP. She states clearly that she left the bar first. She says she was ‘pissed off’ at that point. I was trying to establish why she was pissed off. She beckoned the friend into the bar to dance with her to a particular song, and the friend didn’t want to. Why would that piss the OP off?

[strawberrypenguin]

Don't know why everyone is focusing on the children OP says very clearly they are late teens so not tiny at all.

OP if it happens as you have said your friend is being very odd and def UR

[LIZS]

Are you sure there was no friction before you went out? You sound rather over keen to please, how established is your friendship? Had you set out to go to the market but got distracted, where did you go if they got back before you via a market?

[KnotsInMay]

The birthday and dinner was last night. Tonight they have gone off for tonight’s dinner without the OP.

OP: had drink been taken? The fizz, the before dinner drinks, the drinks with dinner....?

From her POV it is possible that you stormed out of the bar YOU wanted to go to, and huffed off not waiting, walking ahead while they looked at the market? And what did you do in between? If they lagged behind and went to the market, how come you got back to the room later than them, later enough for her kid to still be asleep?

Anyway she is indeed being childish to make SUCH a thing if it.

But I think you need to approach her gently, out of earshot of the teens, and say you are sorry she is so upset, you had planned a nice day, you wanted her to have a great day, and how did it all go do wrong?

[supersop60]

Read the whole post. The OP had taken birthday banners with her and ordered fizz and cake from the hotel AND went on a day trip that birthday girl wanted to go on. Then they had dinner. It sounds like the friend had a pretty nice day until after dinner.
Did something else happen OP?

[dustarr73]

The OP left first
Because her friend didnt like the bar.

Sounds like to me,your friend is a spoilt madam.She got to do what she wanted for the whole day,then moaned when you went in to a bar.

Also if the 2 bedrooms where being occupied by them,where did you sleep.

[ShesABelter]

Were you dancing provocatively in a way which would embarrass her infront of her children?

[MiddleClassProblem]

Defo a very one sided story

[AuntBeastie]

I think you both could have behaved better. She has overreacted but it sounds like you were sulky by walking off without them because she didnt do what you wanted on her birthday.

For the sake of peace, friendship and holidays you should apologise.

[Ruffian]

She doesn't want any more to do with you because you went in a bar and had a dance on her birthday?

Big chunk of story missing here..

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Your exfriend sounds like a complete drama queen. I cannot believe she acted like this. Did anything else happen prior to this? You only went to dance when a bit pissed. When I was mid teens I went to dance bars abroad. It’s not as if her late teens kids have never seen this.

[Thisismadness]

Sounds like a misunderstanding. You both left, they went to a market, you went home. Was there no discussion? Did you not think to go to the market too? She probably thinks you stormed off.

[OliviaStabler]

Sounds like your friend wanted to walk back out of the bar and you went off dancing in the bar. I might have been pissed off to in her shoes, you can dance to a song anytime and she clearly didn't want to follow you but you didn't care and went off.

[HandlebarTash81]

It’s all very well saying that the woman had got it her way all day but maybe she didn’t want all that fuss and pomp.