Nursery shortening DDs name? Possibly UR and more WWYD?

[Isntitjustaname]

DDs name is a fairly old but still common name (think Lillian or similar but not that). It’s 3 syllables easy to say and I know I am bias but very nice.

Nursery shorten her name (so to say Lily) but DD has said she doesn’t like it, her name is Lillian.

I’ve asked Nursery not to shorten it and use the name, but the Manager just says “Oh but Lily is cute and suits her”.

I have no issue with the Nursery other than this and I wouldn’t bother if DD wanted to be called Lily but she doesn’t she wants to be Lillian, which is fine by me as that’s her name. I won't remove her just on this issue as it's an outstanding private nursery and as I said no other issues than this.

WWYD? DD only says to me at home “My name is Lillian, not Lily or Lill” but she’s very quiet at Nursery and doesn’t really speak much (so I’m told) so don’t think she’d be able to say “My name is Lillian”

[SPR1107]

@AnnieAnoniMouse I think you've definitely taken what I said and read it completely different to what I wrote, I put 'ignoring all those who have', I didn't put 'absolutely everyone'. But this is the posters thread, for answers, not for you to get some kicks from causing an issue. So cheerio.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

not for you to get some kicks from causing an issue. So cheerio

It’s not me dismissing the bulk of the posts and acting like mine is the only one worth reading...

So ‘cheerio’ yourself.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

isntitjustanae. Is she at nursery today? Talk to them if she is, then you can put it behind you. I’d talk to them in front of her too, so she knows you’ve told them it’s upsetting her. Hopefully they’ll do as you’ve asked and she will be happier when you pick her up.

[LotsToThinkOf]

But having a 'strong sense of self' is precisely what the OP is trying to instil in her DD, her chosen name is not being used by nursery when it should be.

I'd explain again OP, tell them it's upsetting her and you have asked them on numerous occasions to use her proper name.

It's rude to shorten names without permission from the person, I have a number of friends who also use the long version of their names because they hate the connotations of the shortened one. My mum is forever correcting people for shortening her name, the short version is a terrible name.

It all comes down to respect, I'd be concerned about a nursery that didn't respect chosen names.

[Mummyinlove1987]

I worked in a nursery and we had to call all the children by whatever was on their birth certificate.IMO if you've asked them to call her by that name they must respect that...your child your rules

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

"It's not being wet or not having resilience to want to be called by your given name."

I agree, @happinessischocolate - and I'd go further - I think it demonstrates resilience and a strong sense of self to insist on your own given name (or choice of name, if you prefer a shortening or nickname).

[candlefloozy]

From eyfs

[Lougle]

My DD1 has SN and has a 3 syllable name which can be shortened. We shorten it with an "ie" ending, and the name has an "e" in the middle of it. I always fill forms in with Name: Full Name ("Shortened Name") to highlight her preferred name.

Almost without fail, people shorten her name to "Xxxxy" instead of "Xxxxie". In preschool, I had to ask them to teach her the correct spelling of her name. In school, I had to point out that if everything was labelled with "Xxxxy" she wasn't likely to learn the correct spelling of her shortened name (they immediately changed everything - it was an oversight).

DD1 very quickly learned it, and now she says "there's no 'y' in "full name", my name is "Xxxxie" with an "ie"."

[buttyblahblah]

I had to this with DD's nursery. She was adamant she didn't like being called Jaz but wanted to be called her full name.

7 years later she will now tolerate some shorter versions but definitely still not Jaz.

[moredoll]

Get DD a t-shirt with "Lillian" printed on it.
But I'm not sure I believe this. There was another similar thread that got pulled recently about a school trying to change a child's name . Why would they? There are always going to be some names that individual staff members don't like. They can't change them all.

[Sarahrellyboo1987]

I never used to like my daughters name shortened and she said she didn’t like it shortened either.
Then, I decided to see what a change in my attitude would do and use little nicknames and she then told me she liked her name shortened. So...if people want to shorten it and she likes it then I don’t care.

[KazzaJK]

I had this with my son. His name is Matthew and he only likes being called Matthew he hates it being shortened. Nursery always called him Matt or Mattie and I told them a few times but they kept on doing it. It got to the point where he was coming home in tears about it so I just told Nursery that it was really upsetting him because he hates being called anything but Matthew and had to be quite firm that hey o my called him Matthew. Just keep telling them it’s not up to them to decide what your child should be called, especially if your child doesn’t like it. I’ve had to tell family members too! Xx

[Turquoise123]

Insist. I hate my name being shortened - and I often think it's a bit sexist

[Viviennemary]

The nursery needs to do as you ask and use her full name. The Manager sounds a bit of a twit tbh. Especially as your DD wants to use her full name. Is there anyone else above this person you could speak to. Or is she the owner.

[Lalliella]

Insist and if they carry on show them that extract from eyfs (is that from the national curriculum?) and mention Ofsted!

[arwenearlythereyet]

My DD's keyworker tried to introduce 'Mattie' for Matilda. I stamped on that hard.

She's evolved into a Tilda / Tilde, but I was NOT up for a keyworker randomly deciding her name.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Very annoying. I would def. ask them politely but firmly to use the correct name. I think it's not uncommon for people to do this, though. I have known of a teacher persistently call a Philippa, Pippa, despite the (older than yours) child loathing that particular shortening, which was never used by anyone else.

[AllTakenSoRubbishUsername]

Make the point a little more strongly, also suggest to your daughter not to reply if the wrong name is used, maybe make a game out of it at home to practise!

[pollymere]

My dd has a known as name. You always know the teachers who don't know her when she gets referred to by her full name. If she wants to be called Lillian, I would suggest to her that she only responds to Lillian. They'll soon stop using Lily if she fails to respond to it.

[Gingersdohavesouls]

I went through this for the entirety of my daughters schooling - she has a double-barrelled name and they would either just use the first part of her name or they would shorten it futher to a single syllable version.
Very annoying but I found if I just kept mentioning it, eventually they got the message - except the teacher who kept calling her a completely DIFFERENT double barrelled name! face palm

[tashac89]

Shortening of names is why for the past 10 years I receive a cheque from my partner's grandfather on my birthday that I cannot cash. Despite it being mentioned a couple of times, he still insists my name is Tasha. I gave up trying and the cheques go in the shredder.

[needsadrinky]

My 3 children all have older traditional names think Jonathan or William the oldest can be used 4 different ways when he was 4 someone called him one of two versions he doesn’t like he turned to them and stated my name is will or William not billy or Willy if you call me those again I will not answer you as they are not my name. A few years later I was called into school and told he was being rude and ignoring a member of staff I said that sounds unlikely so asked him he told me they aren’t using my name mum they keep calling me willy and that is not my name and I have told them that. I stuck up for him and told them to check the school info forms. My youngest doesn’t have his names shortened as he isn’t the short version his preschool teacher kept shortening it I kept telling her off she tried telling me but in a few years he want it shortened, that maybe but at the moment his name is this and that’s that please respect both of us and use his given name. I tell all three of mine to tell people this is my name please use it and I taught them this from a young age tell your daughter the same thing it will hopefully give her the confidence to say it if you’ve told her it’s ok.

[ThisDontThatNo]

@gowie3112

My son (3) has a double barrel name too, i absolutely hate it when people say just the first half. He doesnt always respond as hes not used to it. Ive told nursery to call him by his full name and they slipped up once. I just called him by his full first name to correct her.

Also when out at gps for eg. If receptionist calls him by first name only, i say do you mean x-x? I get so frustrated by it, how hard is it!

[MyShinyWhiteTeeth]

I have the same with my daughter's name. Its xxxxxxx and people insist on missing off the first part and changing the ending. My daughter gets very upset. It's not a difficult name to spell or say, it's fairly well known but there are a few versions.

I correct them and tell them the correct version but they almost seem to insist on saying the wrong version. I never thought her name would cause so much upset.