Is it reasonable for DP to say he won’t propose until...

[WhiteKnuckleRide]

I have learned to drive?

Bit of background: We have been together four years, live together, no children together but I have DS(6) from previous relationship. DP is great with DS. We both work full time, both earn the same. I do most of the household duties. I don’t drive.

We work different shifts so DP gives me a lift to do the school run and takes me to work in the morning. In the afternoon I walk or get a taxi home.

FWIW even if I could drive, we wouldn’t bother getting a second car and would share, so the current arrangement would still stand. I have said many times I don’t mind walking or taxiing in the morning but he doesn’t start work until the afternoon so he says he may as well take us. He obviously drives every time we go anywhere as a family too - cinema, food shopping, weekends away etc.

I have had lessons before but never got as far as taking my test. I’m a very nervous driver and last time I stopped because my vision was so bad. I have since gotten glasses so that wouldn’t be a problem now, however we are saving a deposit to buy a house and I would struggle to pay for lessons while I am trying to put everything I can into savings, without dipping into those. I would like to start driving again after we have bought a house.

Tonight DS asked if me and DP were going to get engaged one day. I just smiled and said “hopefully”. DP said that won’t be happening until mummy learns to drive. I just laughed and said “don’t be a knob” to which he replied “I’m being serious”.

AIBU to think that his decision to ask me to marry him should be based on his feelings towards me and our future as a couple rather than a condition I have to fulfil? Or is he being completely reasonable in his wish for me to have this practical skill before he will marry me? I am asking because I’m genuinely unsure whether to feel angry at what he said and would love to hear different opinions.

@salem are you in the US? I grew up in the US. I am guessing from the 'Drivers Ed' reference you must be. There is much better public transportation here and driving isn't as universal. Petrol is significantly more expensive, learning to drive costs more, and it''s not unusual to fail your test a couple of times. In NJ I wasnt even taken out on the roads, it was a course behind the DMV. You actually need to properly be able to drive here to pass (reversing around a corner anyone?!) The one thing that is possibly cheaper is insurance but still you can end up buying and insuring a car here and having it sit on the road for most of the week. It's probably no coincidence the friend I have who struggled to pass her test ended up living in New York city. We don't know where the OP lives but unless it's the Scottish Highlands and he's escorting her everywhere he's the one being weird.

It always amuses me to see the threads like this one with comments that everyone should learn to drive, and people would think badly of someone who couldn't, when on other threads people are queuing up to say "can't parallel park/reverse 100yds down a narrow country lane/reverse into a parking spot/drive at 60 no matter how winding the road? ... then you shouldn't be driving at all. Ever".

Advice needed on how much effort should I reasonably expect my new partner to make with my 3 children?