DD moving back in and insists we allow her to bring her dog. We can't have the dog. What do we do?

[ShitZ]

Our daughter lived in a flat with her mate. She got a dog, she has had him 3 years. Unfortunately, her friend is moving away and she can't afford that place on her own, so she is moving back home (she is still saving for her own mortgage). We have a cat who is disabled and can not be around other animals, it absolutely petrified her as we tried with the dog as I was going to help when she was at work but instead she paid someone else as our cat just couldn't cope.

I don't know what to do. I'm really funny about giving loved pets up. Even if she found somewhere to rent, they don't usually allow dogs and she would ideally like to save.

I don't know what the answer is and wondered if anyone could come up with some ideas? Would be so grateful.

As someone who owns a dog while in rented accommodation (not exactly planned), I can confirm that she needs to put her big girl pants on and find alternative accommodation. Surely she realised when she got the dog that this meant she could never move home again due to your cat's needs?

I'm not saying it's going to be easy - few places accept dog owners. She will need to make herself as attractive as possible, offer larger damage deposits and make sacrifices on what sort of accommodation she is willing to accept - beggars cannot be choosers. The only alternative is to rehome the dog - and if she is a good dog owner she will be doing everything possible to prevent that from having to happen.

Fostering x

trouble is an unhappy dog will bark or whine but a cat could up sticks and leave. I wouldn't have dog at home full stop if cat wasn't happy.

I'm not sure why fostering is being suggested so enthusiastically by some people. It's a short term charitable thing - for people and dogs in deeply unenviable situations such as

• owners fleeing domestic violence
• owners who are street homeless and trying to get into housing
• Owners who are in hospital
• dogs who have gone into kennels for permanent rehoming and are struggling to cope in kennels

It's not for people like the OP's daughter who could pay rent again but don't really want to, and are moving somewhere they can't take a dog on an open ended basis.

Dog boarding would be the only appropriate equivalent, but it's pricey - I pay £30 per night. At £210 per week, that's more than my London rent, so it's unlikely that boarding is going to be a financially attractive proposition for the OP's daughter

@Clyd speaks(types?) Sense.
Please do not give up a dog when it really does not have to happen.
Please come back OP and let us all know what the outcome was/is.
Judging by the number of posters on this I am sure we would all like to know

Please tell us what you have decided. 🤔

Please don't sacrifice your cat's welfare

OP
Have I got this right? Your daughter, in her twenties, has been living with a flatmate who had the mortgage and is now moving on so no chance of staying put and getting another flatmate?. So either she finds a new dog friendly rental at the same price when she might have been on mates rates, or she moves in with you.

The dog is a Bichon Frise and your DD has been paying for it to be looked after during the day while she's at work and has done since she got the dog 3 years ago. Will the same service be available where you are? Do you and your DP work, or is DD expecting you to walk the dog, toilet it etc?

IF she has the same service (dog collected as she goes off to work, returned when she comes back) and it then stays in"her" room, crated or uncrated, lead on when it's out in the garden to do a late night pee, fine. Does she have the same service at weekends? If she goes out shopping, dating, can she replicate what she had at her current flat at your place? Or is it up to you, and if you are away, the dog is stuck inside?

People have suggested that a bichon frise is small and that most dogs can trained to get on with a cat but it can take time. And who is around to do the training? BFs are lovely, but if it's a young dog it can be in the face of an elderly disabled cat and make it highly stressed. As for dividing the house between cat/dog, it depends on the size of the house and how you get in/get to the garden.

I'd do some research on the options.

I would never want to live with a dog, any dog, ever.

I suppose I might be able to get over my fear and distaste of dogs and all that living with them brings, if my dc was really stuck and had no options (and I mean no options, not a lack of options they didn't much fancy... I would have expected them to search and search and search for any rental they could afford which would take dogs, far beyond just looking at rightmove). But I also have cats and bringing a dog in to their home would be cruel to them. I don't think I owe more to my child's pet than to my own pets.

I would never want to live with a dog, any dog, ever

Fine... I'm sure all dogs feel the same about living with you. Hardly the point of the thread...

It tends to help if you read the whole post, finnegan- fixating on just part of it means you lose the point and end up looking silly.

I have read the whole thread thank you. I have posted on it a couple of times. The fact that you wouldn't want to live with any dog - ever, is irrelevent. Nobody cares if you don't want to live with a dog. The thread isn't about you.

Post, Finnegan, not thread . The way you zoomed in on one line of my post without acknowledging the rest and made your snide response as if only the first line existed is what makes you look silly.

But anyway, I don't think spending my evening engaging with your strange aggression would be much fun so goodbye: )

The rest of your post had already been stated, many times by many different posters. The fact remains that you opened the post by concentrating on your personal thought and feelings which are totally irrelevant as the thread is not about you.

There you go...Bye bye 👋