Bit shaken. Aibu to be?

[duchessofsussedsex]

I've just been to Sainsbury's. I was in the fruit aisle and there was a lady and her teenager by the apples I wanted. I waited a while until they were done (they were inspecting each packet for a while) and as they were moving off I reached over and took a packet. I pretty certain I wasn't in their personal space but as I had waited a while I did swoop in a bit.

The woman shouted "stupid bitch" after me and I turned round and said "excuse me" and she incredibly angrily said "you heard". I said "what's your problem" and her teenager proceeded to come and get right up in my face (o could feel spit) and start shouting at me never to speak to her mother like that and that I needed to speak to her. She repeated this at least 10 times and every time I said "I am speaking to you - what exactly is the problem here". The only other thing she said was "ill give you a problem if you don't back off". No other answer at all. I was nothing but polite as it was a busy public place. I the. walked off and she kept shouting "stupid bitch" after me.

I just carried on for a few mins and then I just started shaking and crying and had to abandon the basket and leave. Lots of people witnessed this and nobody said a word.

I'm over 30 years old and I've been reduced to tears by a teenager. I feel so pathetic. I'm just sat in the car crying. I really don't think o did anything wrong. Aibu or are people really this unbelievably nasty and, in the case of everyone else, passive in this day and age and I need to suck it up?

I'm honestly rethinking my entire ethos reading some of the replies here. I don't know anyone who wouldn't instinctively react with a surprised/disbelieving 'excuse me?' or something along those lines in response to a gratuitous shouted 'stupid bitch' comment.

Yes, in hindsight, anyone gobby enough to say that in these circumstances is probably not someone you want to tangle with but those who say they wouldn't have reacted how do you stop yourself reflexively exclaiming something?

Yanbu at all! They sound like they'd just come off of Jeremy Kyle. You did well to be so self controlled.

It's not reflexive - and if you think it is then you're possibly a bit lary yourself. Most people who didn't want an argument would, as I would do, continue to walk away.

If you can't help but 'reflexively' respond then a sensible person certainly wouldn't stay there long enough for the idiot teen to get in their face and spout the same crap 10 times. You can get yourself in serious trouble that way.

I wish I had your steely strength of character, Ruffian, and the inhuman resolve to bite my tongue until it bleeds so as not react to surprise random verbal attacks. Bet you don't even say 'Ow' when you stub your toe either while the rest of us lary beings are hopping around on one foot screaming curses at the universe.

If someone called me a stupid bitch in the supermarket I would say a lot more than “excuse me” so I don’t think that was an unreasonable response.

I guess the problem is though logically the sort of person who calls someone a stupid bitch is the sort of person who will then kick off on hearing you say “excuse me” so unless you’re prepared to out crazy them in the shouting stakes you’ll probably come off worse.

I had similar once when someone called my 8yo a stupid fucking bitch and I turned round with a “what did you just say”. Ended up in a real verbal which I was winning by a mile because she was as thick as shit.....sadly she realised this and decided to punch me at this point. But there was no way I was walking away from someone calling my dd a stupid bitch.

Hardly comparable.

Just to say I don't think OP started it or asked for it but the question asked was was she being unreasonable for being shaken and I said she was a bit because in some situations it's better to ignore or alternatively tell them to f off you stupid bitch yourself!

That was to Ribbon btw

How the hell do you make a 'point' of having to wait?

There are some posters on here who deliberately come on to be contrary and provocative. Are you one of those, Creeper?

That’s horrible for you. You’re not U to feel really shaken :-(

Just think tho, their lives are full of shitty incidents like that. That’s their default norm. How sad.

I guess the problem is though logically the sort of person who calls someone a stupid bitch is the sort of person who will then kick off on hearing you say “excuse me” so unless you’re prepared to out crazy them in the shouting stakes you’ll probably come off worse.

Exactly, I wouldn’t have retaliated by saying ‘excuse me’ unless I was potentially prepared for it to escalate and get smacked. It’s about realising this in a split second and deciding your course of action.

I don't think we could say how we would react to a stranger calling us a stupid bitch. I can only imagine that I would not slink off. I guess my first reaction would be to say excuse me but maybe not, maybe something a whole lot stronger.

Don't we teach this stuff to kids all the time? 'don't react, don't sink to their level' etc etc We expect kids to have enough self-control to follow that advice

I know enough to ignore comments shouted at me - if some aresehole says ' get your tits out' or 'fucking slag' I wouldn't dream of responding. Same situation here, op chose to escalate and then was very upset by it. If she had walked off it would have been forgotten a lot sooner

They were very rude and no need for it ...I do find it annoying when people standing waiting right next to you when your looking at food in a supermarket though

Thankfully I've never had to deal with this type of abuse other than when in my car, where obviously it's best to mind my own business. I have no idea how I would react in the situation described by the OP, but I would probably just apologise whilst silently seething, same as what I do when driving.

But YANBU, OP, without a doubt. It sounds like they were very much out of order.

I had something similar years ago when a woman stopped at the bottom of escalator and started fiddling in her bag, there was load is room so we walked around her and onto the escalator. We could hear lots of fuss and shouting from behind us, we looked round and it was the woman swearing at us for walking past her! Some people are just nuts OP (and bullies) hope your ok and it gets resolved

Ah south east London ! Yes . I can imagine

Shit like this has happened to me and it shakes you up . I think it’s the fact that had it escalated it could have ended up in a en e

Maybe creeper 8 is the woman in question

That did cross my mind

OP what did the store say when you rang them?

The thing is if your going to take people on then you really need to be able to stand your ground not run off in tears.

What on earth is wrong with your basic comprehension skills, Creeper8? OP didn't run off in tears. She stood her ground whilst talking to these idiots, it was a few minutes later that the reaction hit.

Goady types on MN never seem to realise that we can all check what the OP has posted and can detect when they (the goady types) are making up the facts to suit their own agenda.

If it is any consolation, I get shouted at almost every day by strangers in my job (for no fault of mine either). I had to leave early today because I was so shaken up after an incident with a particularly aggressive person. I have had a good cry and now feel better. Some people are just like that, OP. There is nothing that can be done. You are only human to feel like that so YANBU Big hugs x

She called you a bitch, you whirled round and said "what did you say?!"
You are slightly to blame here. Some people are asshats. Just ignore and move on.

Op I hope you’re okay. You did nothing wrong by saying excuse me. That woman was looking for a fight.she might have carried on calling u stupid bitch even if u didn’t say excuse me. How does one know how one needs to react in these situations. And that teenager should be sent to a correction home. I had incidences whereive been shaken as well. It’s not nice. Chin up op. Think of those two as nasty vermin

Red Helen, what a childish comment ?? Because the Op didn’t give as good as she got, she’s being unreasonable??? Wow.

They sound dreadful, absolutely appalling. I too would be shaken up by such an encounter. There was really no need for it, you did nothing wrong.