Bit shaken. Aibu to be?

[duchessofsussedsex]

I've just been to Sainsbury's. I was in the fruit aisle and there was a lady and her teenager by the apples I wanted. I waited a while until they were done (they were inspecting each packet for a while) and as they were moving off I reached over and took a packet. I pretty certain I wasn't in their personal space but as I had waited a while I did swoop in a bit.

The woman shouted "stupid bitch" after me and I turned round and said "excuse me" and she incredibly angrily said "you heard". I said "what's your problem" and her teenager proceeded to come and get right up in my face (o could feel spit) and start shouting at me never to speak to her mother like that and that I needed to speak to her. She repeated this at least 10 times and every time I said "I am speaking to you - what exactly is the problem here". The only other thing she said was "ill give you a problem if you don't back off". No other answer at all. I was nothing but polite as it was a busy public place. I the. walked off and she kept shouting "stupid bitch" after me.

I just carried on for a few mins and then I just started shaking and crying and had to abandon the basket and leave. Lots of people witnessed this and nobody said a word.

I'm over 30 years old and I've been reduced to tears by a teenager. I feel so pathetic. I'm just sat in the car crying. I really don't think o did anything wrong. Aibu or are people really this unbelievably nasty and, in the case of everyone else, passive in this day and age and I need to suck it up?

Sorry duchess but the idea of you standing there pertly had made me really laugh. Maybe that’s what pissed them off. Your pertness was annoying

From the way you describe it it sounded like you were making a point of having to wait.

FFS, she waited. What do you do when you're waiting to get at something in a supermarket display? When these two had finished she picked up what she wanted. How was that "making a point" of anything, Creeper8?

Oh, god. Only on Mumsnet would anyone blame the OP for this.

Take solace in the fact that one day they will square up to the wrong person and probably get back more than they can give.

Just be glad you aren't like these people.

I think most people would feel shaken up and upset.

Laughing in the faces of people like this produces results, they hate it!

coughlaughfart what a charmer you are.

Given that you’ve just blamed the OP for someone else calling her a stupid bitch and trying to physically intimidate her, I don’t think you’re in a position to be throwing comments about ‘charm’ around.

There are unfortunately people like this about; and yes I think this kind of behaviour is on the increase. You didn't do anything wrong. Similar thing happened to me when I (politely) pointed out to a girl that she had dropped her litter on the pavement (in fact she had quite deliberately thrown it over her shoulder into the faces of other pedestrians). She got right in my face and told me to "F* off" and then proceeded to issue threats. I was a bit dumbfounded at her response. After she had walked off a nice woman approached me and in motherly fashion said I must never say anything remotely challenging to anyone again because it's "just too dangerous these days". Anyway on balance I did more to provoke this girl than you did but all the same neither of us deserved these responses.

I can understand your reaction, OP. I once had someone shout at me really offensively for not moving to make a space for them on a train, when it was so packed that it was physically impossible to move. I pointed that out and other people stood up for me, but, to my intense embarrassment, I found myself standing there with tears rolling down my face. That sort of aggression coming right out of the blue is really shocking.

They sound demented!

That's a family who really should be steralised. How can someone be pleased with their child acting like that!

OP, I'd have been shaken too. But it's passed now and it's unlikely you'll even see them again so have a wee cry and then shake yourself off.

coughlaughfart

Your post consisted of swearing & insults. That’s why I perceive you as lacking charm.
Regarding the OP I don’t know lewishsm but if it’s rough it’s not a good idea to have a go to take people on. Their reaction sounded unhinged.

There is no excuse for their intimidating and verbally abusive behaviour, I can't believe some people of here are trying to excuse it. Anyhow, they were walking off, she did not lean right into them, even if she did, that is noway to behave. A polite excuse me, would do.

Need a hairbrush - so why you're saying is that, when in a rough area, this is behaviour that should be just accepted. However, when in a naice area it should be stood up to? Thanks for clarifying that

That said, I would have not carried on communicating with idiots like them, I would have got security or staff and walked off, they were spoiling for a fight. There are those like them, who just one look at them, and they are onto you like a Rotweiller with a piece of meat.

Op you did nothing wrong, next time, just walk away earlier from them, there is no reasoning with people like that. They are just scum of the earth.

These are the types who are dragged up, not brought up.

I went to school with a few of these. They were usually from homes where the one who shouts the loudest gets the attention, you got a belting for minor misbehaviour, and where the best form of defense is attack. Favourite opener being "What the fuck are you looking at?" when nobody is looking at them.

It absolutely wasn't your fault but they'll have done it several times since they saw you already so don't dwell!

Just stupid ignorant people. I hate people that loiter for too long near stuff, they could move over a bit but never do. Not everyone has all the time in the world. I’m 30 and I’ve never backed down from an argument, especially a little bitchy teenager, I’ve had several arguments. Not surprised you were upset.

OP I've lived in both rough and not so rough areas, I think if you take people on, which you did, you’ve got to expect a reaction, in this case they gave you a row, a very aggressive one too, which shocked you to tears. From experience of living in a rough area, I would have walked off at the ‘stupid bitch’ comment.
It’s not reasonable, I’m not justifying it, they sound like lunatics, they sound like they were spoiling for a fight but there are some loons around like this.

Are you sure you didn't tut op, maybe just a little tiny one under your breath that you didn't mean them to hear? Even if you did though you didn't deserve for someone to get right up in your face like that, and I don't blame you for being upset.The pair of them sound unhinged, and will probably find that they pick on the wrong person one of these days,so try and take some comfort from that

They both sound horrible and very rude. Absolutely no need for aggression.

But you were rude to push in to reach for the fruit without saying sorry or excuse me.

I cant understand why the op said “excuse me?!” unless she was equally looking to argue.

Probably because she couldn't believe that ANYBODY would speak to someone else like that.

It took her aback. It would have taken me aback. I'm surprised security didn't hear the altercation and come and calm it down.

Those women were appalling OP. If you aren't an aggressive person yourself you'll find it hard to deal with something like this out of the blue. Take me with you the next time you go shopping - I'll whip their sorry arses for them

It's horrible and it was undeserved, but it isn't worth worrying yourself about. Go home, have a cup of tea, and thank your lucky stars that you aren't them.

The thing is if your going to take people on then you really need to be able to stand your ground not run off in tears. They probably knew you left. You made it bigger than it needed to be

throw a whitey after half a doob

Is this English Wotsit?

I think its best to walk away if people start being abusive and rude. You are the bigger person to do this and it just makes them look like lunatics ranting and raving.
Nothing good comes of getting into arguments with idiots whilst being out and about. No matter how annoyed you are.
Other thing you could have done is gone straight to security and say you were being harassed and felt threatened.
Hope your feeling a bit better now OP.