Bit shaken. Aibu to be?

[duchessofsussedsex]

I've just been to Sainsbury's. I was in the fruit aisle and there was a lady and her teenager by the apples I wanted. I waited a while until they were done (they were inspecting each packet for a while) and as they were moving off I reached over and took a packet. I pretty certain I wasn't in their personal space but as I had waited a while I did swoop in a bit.

The woman shouted "stupid bitch" after me and I turned round and said "excuse me" and she incredibly angrily said "you heard". I said "what's your problem" and her teenager proceeded to come and get right up in my face (o could feel spit) and start shouting at me never to speak to her mother like that and that I needed to speak to her. She repeated this at least 10 times and every time I said "I am speaking to you - what exactly is the problem here". The only other thing she said was "ill give you a problem if you don't back off". No other answer at all. I was nothing but polite as it was a busy public place. I the. walked off and she kept shouting "stupid bitch" after me.

I just carried on for a few mins and then I just started shaking and crying and had to abandon the basket and leave. Lots of people witnessed this and nobody said a word.

I'm over 30 years old and I've been reduced to tears by a teenager. I feel so pathetic. I'm just sat in the car crying. I really don't think o did anything wrong. Aibu or are people really this unbelievably nasty and, in the case of everyone else, passive in this day and age and I need to suck it up?

This is a horrible situation. I think it was made worse, possibly, by the fact that other people witnessed the incident and did nothing. The passive ignorance of the crowd would have upset me more than the behaviour of the deranged individuals, if I was in that situation. // Fortunately, these incidents are rare and the teenager and mother seem to have a very strange relationship. It might be worth dropping a line to Sainsbury's asking them to look out for these individuals. Their behaviour was abusive and threatening.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories. Sorry similar things have happened to you too.

@Ollivander84 for you - what an awful thing to happen.

Just a little update. I did call Sainsbury's after the event when I had calmed down and asked to make a complaint that the staff had seen it and nobody stepped in. I got a call yesterday to tell me that they had called the branch and that the staff had denied all knowledge of it happening. I was just .

I told them to check the CCTV as I know it happened and lots of people witnessed it. This morning I received a call back to say they have seen it but that there is no sound so they can't do anything about it anyway. I asked what they were doing about the staff saying they didn't see it and they said that without sound they can only see that we are standing very close and talking to each other so they can't confirm it's an "altercation" and therefore can't disbelieve the staff as they may have just forgotten or considered it unimportant.

It's rubbish - these people were shouting at me and people all stopped and watched! Can not believe this has happened.

Sainsbury’s should be ashamed!
Email their customer service department and tell them about the complete lack of concern for customer safety in your local branch.
Take it public on Twitter too - That usually makes them sit up, take note and respond. Link the tweet here and I’m sure many of us would retweet it for you.
I think it’s also worth saying that it was a Sainsbury’s store where a customer in a queue died after being punched by the boyfriend of a woman who had been arguing with the victim about queue jumping.

You would think having had such an awful tragedy occur in one of their stores they would be very quick to diffuse a situation like yours OP

Article here...
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk/2009/feb/18/supermarket-row-man-killed

OP, in these situations I always think ok, totally unreasonable and infair and abusive, but at the end of the day I don’t have to live life as them and have their problems. You get to walk away to be who you are and they get to walk away and be the miserable, aggressive fucking bastards that they are and all the misery that brings with it.

Take it onto Twitter - best way to get a suitable resolution to anything these days!

Hideandgo, but do these people experience misery or do they just inflict it on others?

I'm shocked at how your Sainsburys (didn't) handle it! Now would be a good time for the Daily Mail to copy/paste a Mumsnet thread...

I'd think twice before putting it on Twitter TBH, you don't want to be identified and these things have a habit of getting out of control once in cyberspace. The staff in these stores are probably getting hassle themselves everyday and so keep out of everything.

Insomniac, either way it doesn’t really matter to me. The perception of others of them is punishment enough. They may think they ‘told that woman what she had coming to her’ and revel in their aggression but in reality they are just sad, socially useless individuals and everyone can see it. I wish nobody had to become what they are. They are as much victims of circumstance as anyone. If I was the OP, that’s enough for me to walk away and not overanalyse it. The only take away from the incident should be that they let themselves down.

I was in Sainsburys in Purley a while back, wheeling my trolley around, minding my own business when a woman deliberately crashed her trolley in to mine. She then started screaming that I was a stupid c**t who should look where I was going etc etc. I tried to move away so she followed me round the store shouting at me.

Some people are just deranged and looking for a fight.

What did you expect the staff to do/say?

Creeper I asked only for an apology - I didn't expect them to do or say anything. I actually expected nothing. I didn't however expect them to deny all knowledge!!!

I asked only for an apology - I didn't expect them to do or say anything. I actually expected nothing. I didn't however expect them to deny all knowledge!

I had similar from M&S when I complained about a member of staff's behaviour (to put it briefly - I fell; the staff member was filling an accident form out and wouldn't let wouldn't let me use the lavatory - I had to insist - but by then it was too late and I had pee'd myself. She also commandeered my bag and coat (I know I was a wet lettuce, but I was shaken and dizzy and not up to sticking up for myself) She was also appallingly rude - publicly - to another member of staff who tried to help)

All I wanted was for this person to be told not to act that way again - either to customers or to other staff members. I just wanted an apology, and reassurance that no-one else would experience the humiliation of urinating publicly on the shop floor (no - I wasn't given replacement pants and leggings)

After two months of the staff member denying anything ever happened (and apparently being "very distressed" at my accusation), and the CCTV tape being mysteriously unavailable, and I gave up. I did get a £25 voucher, but as I'm never going into that bloody shop again, I gave it to a church raffle. I contacted their head office and everything - waste of time.

Shortly afterwards I was speaking to a lady I meet occasionally when walking my dogs - she's a police officer - and she said that the staff member probably thought I was a shoplifter (I was walking quickly through the store - on my way to the toilet, as it happened) - that's why she hung onto me and why she took my coat and bag. Well - good luck to her - my coat had no pockets and my (tiny) handbag contained my purse and a make-up bag with a couple of half-used lipsticks.

It seems a reasonable explanation for her behaviour - but if I'd been able to prove she'd opened my handbag, there would have been nowt the bother!

Cowbag! I hope she reads this, because I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!

I really feel for you it’s not nice to have this happen and sometimes people are just out to cause an argument because that’s their manner doesn’t make it right but society does tend to turn back as afraid of getting hurt or caught up themselves best thing to do is to raise perception of body language of people and steer clear if you think they may be aggressive some people are just prickly pears and are not worth getting into it with them They’d finished and were walking away unfortunately as many have said unhappy and clearly looking for a row best thing to do is rise above and walk away they are the ones who have to look at themselves in the mirror and try and justify their behaviour you however did nothing wrong ... you are the better person here don’t waste another thought on them as not only did they damage you on the day they’re continuing to damage you by worrying about it xx take care

Plus very naughty of Sainsbury’s not to apologise my local m&s one of their cashiers shouted abuse at me road rage style he was a bit shocked as he saw my face as clearly recognised me won’t be getting in his queue again ... normally such a nice fellow hopefully having a bad day but nonetheless really shocked me and spent an hour questioning if I could’ve done better until I realised he wasn’t worth the energy I was expending on it !