Was I a terrible parent or was the woman BU?

[poppy2006]

In the library in the kids' section my DCs (nearly 3 and 15 months) were a bit squealy and shouty.

Woman covers her ears and says "For gods sake, can't you keep them quiet?"

Me or her?

for gods sake children should be able to enjoy libraries

Yes. But it is a library, not a soft plan area. They should enjoy it as a library

OP, while you have young children, you will unfortunately always have your parental skills called into question!
I have been in your shoes, and it's horrible. Children are naturally louder at that age, and have you ever been to a concert like One Direction where children are the main fan base? My goodness, you need earplugs for the squeals . Their voices get quieter as they get older and have to be quiet at school. But they don't mean any harm. My children are now teenagers and thankfully have grown to be good people. As yours will I'm sure.
My opinion, if I was that lady I would have smiled and let children be children - I think she was the unreasonable one.

have you ever been to a concert like One Direction

Not in a library, no.

You missed out, SoupDragon.

Alles, our library is a community hub so is generally quite noisy and the quiet area with PC’s etc. is in a different section. I only do this as a last resort as it can be a bit difficult to find somewhere otherwise, I try my best. The crying is usually just for a few seconds. I really don’t mean to be inconsiderate, just a genuine Mum struggling and trying to find a safe place. Everyone I have come across
Is understanding.

not in a library, no

Snort

AutisticHedgehog I feel you showed hatred towards me when you twisted and lied what I said about inadequate parenting by my autistic father. You said that I believed autistic parents are inadequate parents. I said no such thing. 1) I'm an autistic parent myself and I'm a good parent. 2) Because I'm autistic I always say what I mean. If I genuinely thought all autistic parents were inadequate (which would be nastily generalising like you were about squealing kids having inadequate parents) then I would have clearly said "all autistic parents." Get it? 3) You do seem to be quite shit stirry and hating. Advertising your asd in your name does not let you off the hook for that.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits

I nearly died at the university library when a guy rustled his way through a bag of crisps and then started chomping on an apple - on the silent study floor!

Both wrong. I think when you spend a lot of time with small children you don't notice the volume level any more. A nursery group of 10 visited our library last week. I'm an ex teacher so was observing the carnage with interest (tantrums, chucking books etc) & was amused how shocked the Nursery teacher was when told by staff they were too loud & throwing books wasn't on. I'd have planned a mid afternoon visit myself, when they're usually not so wired!

for gods sake children should be able to enjoy libraries

They should indeed. But Squawkers ruin it for them.

Our nursery children come into the school library and are expected to sit and listen to a story. If they are speaking, they're doing it in a quiet voice.

tillytop Why did you mention it at all?

I feel you showed hatred towards me when you twisted and lied what I said about inadequate parenting by my autistic father

Your post was deleted. So it was not just me that interpreted it that way.

which would be nastily generalising like you were about squealing kids having inadequate parent

I did not say that. Please re-read what I said at 16:40

^16:40 Parents that make no attempt to calm their children (and I’ve already qualified I’m referring to NT children) in a place where they should learn that they cannot run around as they please are inadequate in my
opinion^

You do seem to be quite shit stirry and hating.

In your opinion. You have not been able to substantiate this. I’m surprised as an autistic person you are happy to make a statement of such vagueness. facts are extremely important to me yet you seem to think they are incidental. But I know we are all different. I also refute completely. You state you are autistic and “always say what I mean”. So am I not allowed to say what I mean? Seems a bit hypocritical to me?

And finally you state that by putting “autistic” in my name doesn’t excuse anything. Who the fuck are you to tell me what my name should or shouldn’t be, or whether I need forgiven? Bloody hell. I’ve spent most of my life being an undiagnosed Aspie. It has been a complete ducking life-changing revelation to have been give. My diagnosis. I am not going to hide and I’m not looking for anyone’s forgiveness.

I stand by my original position 100%. I think it is unreasonable not to try to teach your child that sometimes it is not OK to run around and scream. Sometimes it is fine (and even encouraged) but a library is not the right place to do so.

I usually find some common ground with other Aspies. With you I find none. But I know we are all different. Thank fuck.

Your post was deleted. So it was not just me that interpreted it that way.
I interpreted it the same way. I can't see any other reason for mentioning it.

Thank you @Cachailleacha

Hedgehog everyone can see how you twisted what I actually said. That post is still there, what I said and your reply. It's rather unusual (in my experience of autistic people including myself, dad, 2 sons) for asd people to twist words and meanings.

Not that I'm accusing you of not actually being autistic, btw.

And I personally wouldn't put my autism in my username because I would feel people would think I was looking for sympathy. That's just me, of course.

I interpreted it the same way as well. No twisting from autistichedgehog required.

And you're still at it now with the nasty inferences. Please stop.

I would have told her to shut up. Sorry, I would have. I hate those women, I really do.

Cachailleacha Hedgehog brought up inadequate parenting. I had inadequate parenting from an autistic father, so brought that up.

Sympathy for autism on here tilly? Ha.