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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wanting to give my dog up

180 replies

1sunflower · 21/09/2018 23:54

Ok, so I just want to say that I love animals so all animal lovers that read this please don't write stupid stuff like( how can you choose your child over a dog) ummm yes I can.
Long story but short my OH came up with an idea 2 months ago to get a puppy so I just said ok let's do it. We have a 11months old daughter. Now when we decided to get that puppy we were both supposed to look after it. But now it's all on me. I feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with my daughter or that the dog doesn't get enough walk. I have to bath her, feed her, walk her, brush her and the list goes on. OH comes home and does f* all. I am also concerned about her behaviour As I don't get enough time to train her. I have decided to tell my partner we need to rehome the dog. It will be better for her and us, however OH does not want to hear it and keeps telling me I'm cruel and that I hate animals! He had a day off today and stayed home with the baby so I took the dog for a walk to the park. When I am on the footpath I keep the dog close on the leash so that she doesn't jump on people. But somehow she managed to jump up rather than forward and she kind of jumped on the chest of an older man that wad going by.... he lost his balance and fell on to the road... hit his head... we called the ambulance and everything was ok but it was all terrible I thought I will just sit there and cry... I just can't control her anymore and I want to give her to someone that will
Be able to spend time with her and give her attention she needs. But now my OH and his mum are in my face telling me I'm such a terrible person for wanting to give her up... are they right? Am I being cruel?

OP posts:
foxbox99 · 22/09/2018 19:41

Are you aware that once the dog is two years old it will calm down. Jumping up, chewing things, etc etc are all symptoms of being a young dog. Give the poor thing a chance.

EwItsAHooman · 22/09/2018 19:45

Dogs do not magically calm down at the age of two if they haven't had training and boundaries alongside aging, tell the OP to keep the dog until it's two is terrible advice!

OP, stick with your original plan of rehoming it. You know it's the right thing to do and you know it's for the best.

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2018 19:45

Dogs don’t magically calm down once they reach two. They need training and exercise to change behaviour.

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2018 19:45

X post!

Soubriquet · 22/09/2018 19:49

She’s already neutered at 6 months old?

And come on, the fact he does nothing around the house must have given you some indication to how he would be with the dog.

Rehome her but do not do it yourself. A rescue will fully vet the home. They will provide basic training whilst she is in their care.

foxbox99 · 22/09/2018 19:50

No you're both right - they definitely need exercise too. But they do calm down a lot once they're fully mature!!

Original poster
1sunflower · 22/09/2018 19:53

Wolfiefan why are you so angry? Can't you see I'm trying to fix a mistake and give the dog a better life? As you just said it yourself dog needs time and training, excercise I already said.i can't give her that so what is your problem?

OP posts:
Original poster
1sunflower · 22/09/2018 19:55

Yes out vet has advised to get her neutered before she turns 6 months old. She said It's a lower risk for the dog to have it before she get the chance of having first period and while she's young.

OP posts:
Original poster
1sunflower · 22/09/2018 19:56

You guys are still missing the point. My husband doesn't do stuff during the day as he's at work so that's why I do everything at home, he said he will be looking after her before and after work and didn't stick to the promise so it's understandable I couldn't see that coming .

OP posts:
TomHardysNextWife · 22/09/2018 20:05

To be fair to you OP there is no way a responsible breeder would let a couple with a young baby buy a puppy off them, so your dog hasn't had a fair chance from day one.

Please please please rehome her responsibly. Find a breed specific rescue and they will help - easily googled. That way she can go to someone experienced with the breed and it will be a permanent home, she deserves that from you.

NutElla5x · 22/09/2018 20:08

Ffs leave the poor woman alone narky twats some of you. Love to see you gob off to OPs face, bloody keyboard warriors. Get a grip, it's a dog, OP is struggling! She knows she's made a mistake and she's trying to do what's best for the dog. She really doesn't need a bunch of nomarks to keep ramming it down her throat
And you have the cheek to call others keyboard warriors,oh the irony.
Yes it's a dog-a living,breathing animal with feelings.If it was a piece of furniture that she didn't really want in the first place and was now collecting too much dust so she wanted rid ,because she couldn't be arsed to polish it no-one would give a fuck and no-one would respond,but people like op and her dick of a partner make dog lovers fucking mad because they put their lazy arse selves before the animal that they actively CHOSE to go and buy.I'm starting to think we should bring back licencing to make it harder for idiots like this to go out and buy a dog on a whim,and then get rid of when they realise they have to actually do something for it.Oh and if op would come up to me in the street and ask my opinion I would say the exact same thing to her face,so don't assume people are keyboard warriors just because they have passion in what they're saying!

ellaowenmummy · 22/09/2018 20:08

I think rehiring would be the kindest thing for you and the dog.

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2018 20:09

The dog didn’t come from a decent breeder.
A big breed shouldn’t be spayed so early.
You’ve said he doesn’t do stuff at hope so why you thought he would walk and train a puppy I don’t know.
Rehome. You clearly haven’t the time or the inclination to care for this pup. You should have said no to start with. But you need to go to a rescue. Preferably a breed specific one. ASAP.

Llanali · 22/09/2018 20:14

Now the answer to this would surely be check your puppy contract and return the pup to its breeder. But clearly, it didn’t come from a responsible breeder, and you clearly did no research.

I think it’s pathetic that you can’t manage to walk the poor thing twice a day between the two of you. Unless there’s a massive drip feed that you have a chronic health condition. I know how hard big strong breeds are with prams.... which is why you train them with empty buggies, when they are small and young.

What training classes have you done? Maybe your trainer can help you re home her?

Original poster
1sunflower · 22/09/2018 20:14

NutElla5x get your nasty language out of my thread and go have some chamomile tea or you gonna get a heart attack from all that excitement. I'm looking for a normal response and advice about rehoming not ugly posts like yours. You should get your account blocked as from what I can see you are just a bully and don't see the actual point in here.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/09/2018 20:16

The only ugly thing here is people buying puppy farmed dogs with no thought about whether they could even provide for the dog. Then ditch it when things get hard with hand wringing poor me whinging.
Rehome it.
Don’t get anymore pets.

Original poster
1sunflower · 22/09/2018 20:22

Wolfiefan I think that a vet that has been thru uni and is a professional knows better than you when to spay the dog... And I'm not ditching her you idiot I am giving her a better chance in life rather than keep her home so she doesn't get the excercise she needs and the attention. Yes I have made a.mistake but I'm fixing it now while I can. What should I do? Keep her 2 more years and.see where will that take me? Who will be interested in a grown dog then?

OP posts:
NutElla5x · 22/09/2018 20:22

So op and her partner didn't even do her homework and bother looking for a responsible breeder to buy from.My God this just gets worse.

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2018 20:24

Many vets advocate early spaying. It is NOT recommended in very large breeds. And not all vets know that.
Rehome it. Don’t spay it.
Love how we are the idiots. But you made a bloody stupid mistake. Hmm

Llanali · 22/09/2018 20:26

No @1sunflower vets don’t always know absolutely the best advice around neutering. Some vets will also give advice to spay early because they feel the owners are likely to mate the animal either intentionall or accidentally, even if really the animal would benefit from later neutering. They feel early neuter is a lesser risk than a mistake litter. Doesn’t make the early neuter ideal though.

Kittykat93 · 22/09/2018 20:30

Op I'm sorry but you have to take responsibility for this. I understand you're now trying to do the right thing and that's great, but you can't call other posters idiots when actually they are just telling the truth (which hurts!!)

You should never have agreed to get a puppy, especially not a bull breed.

You need to contact a rescue asap, and seek their support and advice.

I'd also show your twat of a husband this thread.

carbuckety · 22/09/2018 20:36

I think you should rehire. Who is the owner of the dog? You or your DH? ( Who has the insurance for example?). I would contact a rescue near you and arrange for them to take the puppy on. A young dog will probably get taken easily by another potential adopter. Much better than struggling with a puppy you can't cope with. Nobody will be happy

Amanduh · 22/09/2018 20:43

The OP has said she made mistake. Doesn’t need any further jumping on.
‘Why did yiu have a child with an idiot dp’ oh i’ll just tell the women with lovely, caring dps who suddenly switched to abusive arseholes that they should have seen it coming Hmm maybe she should have thought about what he’s like now when she got the dog but how would she know before she had a child? Don’t see how that’s relevant. Also she can’t force him to walk or care for the dog
Yes OP you made a mistake. But better now to rehome the dog for a better life

Original poster
1sunflower · 22/09/2018 20:51

Kittykat93 I. Not upset because they speak the truth but because they are simply rude. You can express how you feel in a normal way rather than call names like twat, idiot etc because someone made a.mistake and is trying to fix it before it's too late :) no need for being nasty :)

OP posts:
Afternooninthepark · 22/09/2018 20:51

I’m a dog walker, I work with dogs, am a pets as therapy volunteer and a dog owner myself and totally understand the effort it takes to care for these beautiful and loyal creatures. Have you been in contact with any rescue homes? I’m very concerned that you will struggle to rehome your dog due to its breed, bulldogs, staffies etc are notoriously hard to rehome. I really wish people would give much more thought into dog ownership than they do. They are not self sufficient robots but living creatures who need much interaction and care.