To wanting to give my dog up

[1sunflower]

Ok, so I just want to say that I love animals so all animal lovers that read this please don't write stupid stuff like( how can you choose your child over a dog) ummm yes I can.
Long story but short my OH came up with an idea 2 months ago to get a puppy so I just said ok let's do it. We have a 11months old daughter. Now when we decided to get that puppy we were both supposed to look after it. But now it's all on me. I feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with my daughter or that the dog doesn't get enough walk. I have to bath her, feed her, walk her, brush her and the list goes on. OH comes home and does f* all. I am also concerned about her behaviour As I don't get enough time to train her. I have decided to tell my partner we need to rehome the dog. It will be better for her and us, however OH does not want to hear it and keeps telling me I'm cruel and that I hate animals! He had a day off today and stayed home with the baby so I took the dog for a walk to the park. When I am on the footpath I keep the dog close on the leash so that she doesn't jump on people. But somehow she managed to jump up rather than forward and she kind of jumped on the chest of an older man that wad going by.... he lost his balance and fell on to the road... hit his head... we called the ambulance and everything was ok but it was all terrible I thought I will just sit there and cry... I just can't control her anymore and I want to give her to someone that will
Be able to spend time with her and give her attention she needs. But now my OH and his mum are in my face telling me I'm such a terrible person for wanting to give her up... are they right? Am I being cruel?

Also, separately, your DH sounds like a lazy waste of space...

Op you know rehoming yourself is a terrible idea, if you care at all about the dog and want to put the mistake right youll re-home responsibly and either go back to the breeder or a dog rescue. An ABT being rehomed dodgily (which pets4homes and the like is) will more than likely end up with another family who get a dog without researching the breed and it'll end up being rehomed again and again and again. And probabky end up as a bait dog once it's spirit is totally broken.

Re-home via dogs trust or similar then you know you've done right by it and given it a decent shot. Anything else would be foolish, which you know deep down.

Getting any dog when you have an 11 month is stupid getting one that can knock an adult off their feet is beyond crazy.
The dog has already caused injury to someone so this may not be your choice if the man or the ambulance called the police.
Rehome the dog asap and hopefully it is still young enough to be trained.

Oh surprise surprise it’s an American bulldog - chosen as a fashion accessory, right?

And surprise surprise that you do everything with the baby and house. And yet, you thought your Useless boyfriend would step up with a dog?

Yes to rehoming but PLEASE drop this stupid idea of finding a home yourself. I am sure you don’t know the first thing about finding a good home, and the poor mutt will end up with someone else who “just says yes” and can’t be bothered to train it.

If your husband is like this now. He will only get worse and the toddler stage is even harder.

I think we need to bring the dog license back.

As PurpleFlower said (sorry, new, don’t know how to tag people!) please don’t try to rehome her privately for free. She might end up being used for something horrible, but you’ll also (I imagine) get a lot of people trying to rehome her on a bit of a whim as they see a free dog.
We had a sort of similar situation with an elderly family member wanting to get a puppy as a companion, despite us all advising it wasn’t a good idea. The puppy ended up being far too much and ended up going to a rescue centre who found him a lovely home with a young family who were much better suited to him.

For what it’s worth I think you were maybe a bit naive, but there are some people on here being very critical. It’s hard to imagine how much work a dog is until you have one, and you are trying to do the right thing for yourself and your baby and the puppy, and at the minute the right thing to do might be to find her a home that’s more suitable for her.

I'm not getting aggressive, but it upsets me that someone here says that because of people like me she has to rehome the dog in dogs trust or a shelter. Well that's what you are there for first of all and secondly you don't know my situation so how dare you to judge. Yes I know what a big responsibility a dog is as I had many. But with a baby it's harder to give the time to a puppy that it needs as I have a small human that I need to raise , and when we were getting that dog I was told we will do it together ok? And now I can't cope and i think that's alright to admit, rather than keep the dog like he wants and not give him enough attention.

Oh OP, I’ve just read your other post about him.
Rehome the dog on your way out of the door - you need to speak to Women’s Aid
Good luck

So you already do everything at home without input from your partner? Yet you thought he would step up and look after a puppy?
There was clearly no thought or planning before getting this dog. It’s probably come from a puppy farm as no decent breeder would sell a giant puppy to a couple with such a young child.
And now you want to give it away to some other clueless person who will probably allow the dog to become even more out of control?
Do the dog a favour. Take it to a rescue. Even better contact a breed specific rescue. Don’t do it yourself. Don’t put it on Gumtree or similar so some scum can use it for dog fighting.

If you need to rehome a dog please, please follow what other people have said and regime it with Dogs Trust where they'll give your dog to owners more suited to it.

Please don't let the dog go to a friend, or friend of a friend, thinking it's better to go somewhere you know them vaguely - it never works out particularly well and your dog sounds as though it needs lots of training and nurture.

And next time your child of a OH suggests something cute tell him to buy a Fingerling to love and pet because he's patently not ready for adulthood.

What training and puppy classes did you/do you do with the dog?

It is still a very young dog but from they way you have described things I wouldn't be surprised if the answer to the above question was none.

You are allowing your partner to do nothing around the home it seems. Change it and start with the dog. Find a dog trainer and tell your partner he is the one that will be working with him/her.

Give your partner and the dog 3 months to see a marked improvement (perfectly achievable with good and consistent training).

A dog can bring so much happiness to a home, but you get back what you put in to them imo.

It was unfair of your partner to force a dog and then not help. I'd love a dog and my DH says we can get one but that he would rather not and doesn't want to be involved in its care. So we didn't.
American bull dogs are huge and I wouldn't be able to cope. Especially with a pushchair.
You are right to consider to rehome. Please consider using a sanctuary though unless you know someone who can take the dog and you know will commit to the next 12 years plus.
My friend had a gorgeous dog but as soon as her son was born it got really protective and wouldn't let anyone go near her. So it would turn on people in the street. They tried all sorts of training and they felt it would be better off not near children.
The sanctuary rehomed it but she was able to stay in contact with the new owners.
Maybe that's something to consider.

Also reading your post again- I think your OH and his mum are being cruel.
You are admitting you can't cope. Your dog has hurt someone unintentionally and you've had to deal with it.
It could have been much worse and I'm not surprised you aren't coping

I agree OP's DH should be helping more and it's not fair that he isn't given that they BOTH agreed to get a dog. I do think you both should have put more thought and effort into it, as now it is the poor dog who is going to suffer.

However, I'm a bit bemused as to why you cannot look after a dog and an 11 month old child at the same time. Unless the child has additional needs of some kind then I don't really understand the problem. I had a several dogs when DD was small- one was a puppy- it really wasn't hugely difficult. I could walk dog and child in buggy (even if weather bad, wrap little one up) and did training on walk or in the garden. I think people make heavy weather of these things like it's some gargantuan task when actually it's about being organised and motivated. Training a puppy does take effort and consistency, it's easy to get lazy with it and then even more difficult to get on top of it again. But it's far from impossible to do both care and training of a dog and look after a young child, giving both the attention they need. My impression is that OP does not want to the caring for the dog, rather than cannot- and feels put upon that her husband will not do his share (the latter being totally understandable).

Why do you need to bath the dog all the time? It's not good for their coat or skin to wash to frequently anyway.

All of those things said, if OP AND her DH cannot put the time and effort into training and caring for the dog it probably is best that the dog is re-homed to a more appropriate setting. And think long and hard before getting another dog (or pet) in the future.

I have bulls and I love them but please, please listen to other posters and rehome via a proper rescue.

I have read your other thread and I have a horrible feeling you agreed so readily because of the consequences of not agreeing would of been worse.

Please ring women's aid.

I recommend rehoming the dog and the husband.

Oh, but OP please rehome the dog properly, not sell it on for cash. I would suggest going through one of the rehoming charities- they will have your dog best interests at heart and find the best home for the dog. Also, it means the new owner does not have come-back on you if something happens with the dog in the future that they claim you did/should have known about.

And yet another bull breed ends up being dumped by their owners

OP, I think you are right to consider rehoming the dog. Sadly, this has not worked out. I don’t know your full story, but it sounds as though looking out for you and your small human may need to be your absolute priority here.

I have had to re-home pets in the past. What was a well considered, researched and agreed plan did not go the way we hoped. I cried a lot over it, but I knew that we were not the right people for the animals but took comfort from the fact that they would go to their new new family with the right housing etc. I chose a species appropriate rescue to ensure they would be looked after correctly and regimes well. (It was a pair of animals, not repeated rehomings)

I’ve also taken in rescue pets- my gorgeous dog joined us as her forever home and was worshiped and spoiled until the end of her days. I am entirely grateful to the family who knew that they could no longer keep her so she could come to us. She was our perfect dog, but not theirs.

Mad guineas are also rescue animals. They were not well looked after and I’m just happy that they are now.

I think I’m just trying to make the point that it can be totally the right thing to do, you don’t hate animals, you want a better life for them in the long run. At another time you may be in a better place to take on a different animal. If you decide that, after careful research and planning, please check out your local rescues. Not another designer puppy.

Don't give the pup away free FFS!!!! You may as well advertise it free to good dog baiter/dog fighting group. I agree sometimes people don't do what they say they'll do, did you have every faith that your DP would? I can't really see how though, given you've said you do 'everything' in the home? Seems he has form.I agree with AllesAusLiebe and esk1mo. Dogs are a huge time and money commitment and a massive responsibility. I however agree in this case, she deserves a better home. But be bliddy careful where she ends up, and please never get another pet unless you get rid of your DP and start going out with an adult, next time.

Neither your husband nor you sound mature enough to have an animal plus a child. Why on earth did you think it would be a good idea to take on that level of responsibility with an 11 month old!? Your husband sounds like a lazy idiot. Yes, you should get the poor animal rehomed, but ensure it’s loved, fed and watered until it’s rehomed and not sent to an animal shelter. This should be a massive lesson in thinking through things thoroughly. You may also want to consider how useful your husband is in the grand scheme of things 🙄

I was in a similar situation, husband brought home a staffy when I was nine months pregnant and then did literally nothing with her. We had a garden full of shit and an unwalked dog. I had never had a dog before and tbh she scared me.

In an uncharacteristic show of balls I rehomed her to a woman I met online. With hindsight I would have gone to a rescue but I was young, had a newborn and crippling pnd.

Anyway. I did ditch the husband and I have never looked back. Get rid, of both.

Yep it’s a DH problem not a dog problem. But I think you are being very sensible. You need to rehire the dog.
Do NOT sell it or give it away. Go to the Blue Cross or Dogs Trust. You have teenage dog that has not been properly trained so may fall into uncertain hands. But the reputable charity will make sure it’s gets the right home.
Puppies are very hard work. You essentially have 2 toddlers to look after with similar needs but very different requirement on how to manage them.
Good luck op, be strong.

None of the people who have insulted op have offered to home her dog. Just have decided what she should do with her time because that's what they would like. Wind your necks in. The dog is fine and will be looked after fine with someone else. Dyed in the wool animal activists will be the death of actual conservation of this planet.

I am in the same situation. I can't manage the dog, my dh won't re home it so the poor dog suffers.