To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

[ClaraBanana7]

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

Vegan food isn’t anything different to what we eat as omnivores, except without the animal products.

You don’t have to add animal products to make it nice, you have to be a skilled cook. Provided the caters are good, the food will be good, end of.

I am a meat eater.

Salem I don’t think you grasp the idea of vegan. Vegans abhor animal based foods because of the treatment the animals receive and also the many not so good things you ingest when you eat it.
It’s s belief system just like choosing to eat halal or kosher.

Why would you ignore years of giving support against animal cruelty just to serve Uncle Pete a sliver pork fillet?

There are loads of amazing vegan recipes and deserts. It’s really ignorant of you to be making such a song and dance over not have a tiny piece of meat.

Also a plant based diet is extremely good for you. I gave up dairy and seen a huge inprovement in my health so I can understand the health benifits

Many of the posters who say go for it are meat eaters, though clearly more worldly wise ones than yourselves. We are also pescatarian & love fish. Not eating fish for a meal wouldn't phase me at all.

Yes, but people say that because they think they’re being right on and nice. The reality of it is though that after everyone who has spent years going to a great deal of trouble to host them finishes rolling their eyes at their hosting even the people who say ‘How wonderful I love vegan’ will eat a vegan meal, have two glasses of (vegan) champagne and feel megapissed and want to go to bed.

Hindu weddings often don’t have alcohol either and are usually attended by a lot of people who know how to have fun without alcohol. Present a load of habitual drinkers and meat eaters with a vegan meal and alcohol and you have a load of drunk people who want to sleep.

OP is doing a buffet, which I think is the right choice. Suggestions like curry and chilli are fine if you like spicy food, but not everyone does. A buffet should be fine.
Disagree though that most people eat vegan meals. They really don't. I do eat vegan meals. but lots of things have hidden animal products in them such as white sugar, Worcestershire sauce, apple juice, fortified orange juice, honey, most jams, figs, It really is not the same as saying no meat, milk, eggs or cheese.

God this thread is like the seventh level of ever-decreasing-circle hell....!

Just to add to the MANY posts saying the same thing; I don’t get why you would offer a meat option at all. Don’t do it. Just have a vegan wedding. I would expect nothing else from a lifelong vegan and her vegan husband-to-be 🤷‍♀️. In fact, I’d feel really awkward eating meat you’d paid for at your wedding. Your friends are weird.

Also, I’d expect you to be reasonably accommodating of other requests; catering for certain diets and allergies, but also if people object to palm oil, soy or avocados for example, on ethical grounds.

Well if they are asleep at least they won't be moaning

What are you on about? Pasta, bread, rice and potatoes are vegan and filling and eaten by meat eaters every day (shocker sometimes without meat / dairy accompanying or in the sauce) without us falling asleep after a glass of wine!

Are apple juice and white sugar not vegan?

You want people to take a day out of their lives to celebrate your love? Look after them!

In your opinion Geraldine, that really isn't the same thing as fact you know. Replies here say otherwise, just you & another couple of posters like to shout louder, doesn't make you any more right, though does smack of ignorance, that's all.

FTR record the Hindu wedding I mentioned did serve alcohol with the vegan food, nobody was stupidly drunk as a result of it, any who were plastered tended to do that anyway.

I'm also not understanding why you think meat protein is needed to soak up alcohol or fill you up. Carbs do that & strangely as it might sound to you, carbs are vegan 🙄

I was vegan, but my health suffered for it, so I no longer am.
It is important to acknowledge though that not everyone is adventurous with food. And that is okay. I am, but DP is not outside the house as he has to avoid eating certain things that make him ill.

Yes, but people say that because they think they’re being right on and nice

That’s just really made me laugh. I honestly don’t mind what I eat as long as it’s cooked well.

Most vegan buffets I’ve been too had lots of starchy foods so people were able to get pissed with out getting hammered and ill.

The best vegan buffets I’ve been to are always Indian. And I take my own wine and have a ball!

Johndoe10 I DO understand. However non-vegans like myself have a belief system based on health and science, and thus have conscientious beliefs that vegans are wrong and misguided. For example, the lack of dairy will catch up with you in your old age via Osteoporosis. But the young vegans don't think ahead that far. Believe me, the unhealthy lifestyle does catch up with you in later years.

What I don't understand, why you think your belief system trumps the belief systems of non-vegans? If we can make sacrifices for you, when we find veganism dangerous, unhealthy and abhorrent, why can't vegans do the same thing? No one is asking you to eat meat/animal products, just provide it for those of us who are non-vegan.

If you cannot do that, then don't expect non-vegans to cater for you. Respect. It is a two-way street.

But people say that because they think they’re being right on and nice

Utter bollocks.

I’m in favour of delicious well cooked food. Vegan food will be just as good, provided the caterers are good.

No they are not. Bone char is routinely used in processing white sugar. Apple juice is often clarified using fish products. If you are vegan because of animal cruelty, you will want to avoid any animal use. Which is why few people do eat vegan meals unless they are trying to be vegan.

Salem, you wouldn't have to convert to being a vegan, just eat one meal, I doubt your long term health would be affected untowardly.

I was vegan, but my health suffered for it, so I no longer am

Genuinely interested to know why? Was you eating a balanced diet ?

Also most margarine is not vegan.
Eating vegetarian is very easy. Eating vegan is much harder.

Have the wedding that you and your fiance want. Anyone who wouldn't celebrate your special day in the way you want isn't worth worrying about. People can choose not to eat the vegan food provided if they choose. They won't die of starvation. Provide generous dessert options. I bet they'll eat those!

Thanks abucat, every days a school day! Is brown sugar ok? Presumably you can get vegan apple juice though.

Vegan spread. Looks delicious!

kenandbarbie, you are missing the point. That it is (or should be) a TWO-way street. So lets re-write your post:
you wouldn't have to convert to being a meat eater, just eat one meal, I doubt your long term health would be affected untowardly.

Your argument can be used for vegans. The point is, a good host should cater for her guests. Not her misguided and unhealthy beliefs or crusade.

I had constant problems with anaemia. I am prone to it anyway, but it was much worse. I was eating masses of high iron vegetables, and still getting it. As soon as I stopped being vegan all the time, it got better. I still eat vegan meals, just not every day. I also drink wine and beer that are not usually vegan.

Genuinely interested to know why? Was you eating a balanced diet ?

Seriously? Why would you need to ask that question? It would be obvious. Eating a dangerous and restrictive diet is not healthy. It isn't rocket science. Shrugs