To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

[ClaraBanana7]

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

Don't offer a meat option. I completely understand your logic in not wanting to pay for something you are morally against but I guarantee you'll have guests that won't respect that. Offer a delicious vegan meal,they can suck it up for one meal!

My vegan friends recently got married, not an animal product in sight! Its your wedding, I'd just cut out the 'meat' option, and just have it all vegan. Don't make a song and dance of it, it's just the food you love.

If I had two friends who were vegan I'd be completely happy to way vegan at their wedding.. I'm sure everyone can survive one day without meat products.

I love meat and eat it every day but it's not a "dietary requirement" to do so.

If people decide not to go to a loved one's wedding because they can't go without meat for one meal then that's ridiculous imo. Serve a vegan menu.

I'm a meat eater.... if I were attending a wedding where both parties were vegan, I would totally expect only vegan food, I wouldn't expect to be served meat.

It's your wedding and should be how you want it... people are still being fed at the end of the day!

Just cater vegan. There are so many lovely vegan choices, don't bother with the meat. Anyone who would rather go hungry than eat a vegan meal (happymummy ) is a bit weird and that's their lookout

I enjoy eating meat but I would happily go to a vegan wedding. Anyone who can't forgo meat on one occasion is being awkward. Don't ask people to pay. Just serve vegan.

@PinkHeart5914 everyone will be fed, there's no way I wouldn't feed everyone. I was just trying to think up a way for the people who would refuse to eat something without meat in it to be able to eat meat without it being on my conscience.

Vegan menu only. Don't make people pay for it.

If they can't handle no meat for one day, that's a bit sad for them, but one less person to pay for for you.

Similarly it is ridiculous if people are genuinely saying that they cannot eat one meal with meat

No, it's not similar at all

Just serve a vegan meal.

If anyone is sufficiently arsey to refuse to come based on that, I would consider yourselves better off without them!

I think you should just go vegan. People should try to be a bit more open-minded! And I say that as an enthusiastic carnivore. I'd certainly have no problem eating a vegan meal at someone else's wedding.

I'm not a vegetarian or vegan but would be happy to have a vegan meal at a wedding. It's hardly refusing to cater for people - are people really unable to eat one meal without meat or dairy at a special event? I find that way more bizarre than a vegan meal being served.

My partner would find it harder but that's his own issue as he's a fussy eater. I'd just tell him to either get over it or have a big breakfast :D

Is there not s compromise

I'd happily eat a vegetarian meal but I would not want vegan cheese on it or plant milk for my coffee.

However the idea of charging someone is just appalling and your attempt at virtue signalling is more likely to lose you friends than persuade anyone else to think about reducing their intake of animal products

I'm sure you and your fiancé wouldn't want to come over as worthy twats.

Vegan meal. If anyone declines your wedding invitation because they can't go one meal without animal protein they won't be a great loss.

In all honesty Im torn: on the one side its your wedding, do what you wish,
but then, I have friends who dont eat meat and if had a wedding that served say a roast and I said just eat the sides would that be unfair of me not to supply a non meat replacement?

Personally as a meat eater, I could eat a vegetarian meal, vegan could be pushing it. Any proposed menu ideas so we can see what would actually be offered?

You should cater to everyone instead of forcing your beliefs on your wedding guests (and I’m not even a huge meat eater).

You are deliberately excluding people and I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority refused to turn up. I certainly would based on your ‘reasoning’ alone.

@DitchingTheDye Unfortunately yes. It confuses me, but apparently that's the case.

And yes, I agree with pp. If you expect people to cater for your veganism you should equally cater to them.

People will survive one vegan meal! Id take the opportunity to show the die hard carnivores how delicious vegan food is. Be heavily involved in menu choices tho

The pay for your own meat option would be very odd imo. I really wouldn’t do that.

I’d say just serve a fully vegan meal without making a thing of it. (I.e. don’t announce on the invitation that due to your beliefs only vegan food will be served). I don’t see how people would object, it’s just one or two meals out of their lives. And no reason why it shouldn’t be delicious.

Expecting everyone to adhere to you own views on how food is consumed is not very welcoming

This.

I like a fair few vegan meals. We have them now and again (meat eating household). I’d have no issue with a vegan menu.

But...there are people who don’t like lentils or chickpeas or tofu. And those that find a vegan meal very unsatisfying. They either won’t come or will grumble and starve.

If you’re fine with that, fine. If you’re not, the most polite thing to do, as host, is not impose your views on others.

YANBU. Not a vegan but would have no issue at all eating vegan food (which can be delicious) at the wedding of vegans. Anyone who says otherwise is a bit entitled tbh.

You could either do ‘hidden’ vegan so people didn’t even realise it was vegan - thinking vegetable curry, tomato pasta bake, baked potatoes, salads etc or compromise on vegetarian not vegan - so salads, baked potatoes or new potatoes, rice etc but maybe quiche or vegetable tart as well.

Maybe a vegan soup to start - carrot and coriander, basil and tomato or something like a pear and walnut salad or vegetable terrine.
Then a vegan lasagne or roasted vegetable tart with salads.
Pudding can be something liked baked stuffed peaches in masala.

I think when people think vegan they think mushed up quinoa, kale and butter beans with garlic. I think I’d show them it’s possible to have good vegetarian/vegan food too.

I can't believe pepple wouldn't go to a wedding if only vegan food were to be served. Nowt as strange as folk...

Just serve vegan food. No one is going to die because they didn't eat meat in one meal. If they're that desperate then they can bring a chicken breast with them.