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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have had to delete Instagram

203 replies

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:29

Before I start my small rant I would just like to say that I understand that social media and places like Instagram are a platform where people feel part of something and that they can reach out and talk to people and for that I applaud it especially if you are suffering mental health and it has helped you in some way, for some people it is good to connect with people and reach out, and it has helped you positively and make changes in your life. I also understand that it is your platform to post whatever you like, freedom of speech and all that but you cannot post controversial material and not expect people to reply/ disagree....however a few things I have noticed recently are :

Lots of people on my feed have started posting videos of themselves when they are crying /upset ?
I can't quite fathom it. Once upon a time I may have felt sad for them that they were upset, but now I just find it a bit confusing that grown women are posting videos of themselves crying for some online attention every other day or so. It seems to have become like a fashionable thing on my feed ?This may sound really nasty but I can't quite get my head round someone posting a five minute video of themselves With tears rolling down their face. I get some people are on the actual verge of desperation and need some real life help and don't know what else to do and believe me I have been in a 'desperate emotional situation' many a time, But I don't understand , its all very cryptic or maybe I am just getting old ? I do know some of these people who do this IRL and they are like this IRL. I know to some people this may sound like I am being horrible and I'm sorry but it is something I have noticed as of late..

Anti Vaxxers - A mother posting that vaccinations aren't vegan and that is why her son won't have them. Yet I have seen her videos / photos of her feeding him eggs and him wearing wool, but posting that she will ignore any messages about vaccinations 'she doesn't want to hear it' . I have tried very hard to resist messaging her with some questions I have but know I will be shot down in an instant. I wonder if her child caught a horrid disease weather he would be declined treatment incase it's not vegan.
Why would you post such things but not want to deal with people legitimately interested in your point of view ? Or people wanting to ask innocent questions ?

This is one of the few reasons I have had to delete social media, in a place that was invented for people to connect I am finding people more and more difficult to engage with because everyone has this online bravado and I am finding it too triggering.
I haven't had Facebook for a number of years and it's good what not having it does for the soul and now I am giving up Instagram for the same reasons.
I enjoy mumsnet because you can have a good debate or chat on here. No pictures so not on a superficial level.
I am ready to be told IABU by some .
Thanks for reading my rant

OP posts:
CoffeeShortbread · 20/09/2018 12:33

Blimey. I follow vacuous interiors and fashion accounts. No crying on my feed. You can ‘mute’ or unfollow people who post stuff you don’t want to see.

astoundedgoat · 20/09/2018 12:35

You make - curate, if you will! - your own social media experience. I have never seen anyone crying on Instagram in the way you describe, because I don't follow that sort of account - it's either friends or people and businesses I think are fab for whatever reason. Same for Twitter, which I use sporadically, and Facebook.

So I think to say "I have had to delete Instagram" is misleading - you didn't have to. You just got sick of the people you were following, which is fine, but different. You could just as easily have unfollowed them and followed Sharmadean Reid or someone equally awesome and inspirational.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:36

Hi everyone,
Sorry for being misleading ! I did indeed unfollow a lot of people but then just had a kind of epiphany about it, and have started to find it quite overwhelming and bad for my mental health overall.
Xx

OP posts:
prettypossums · 20/09/2018 12:36

I've never seen anything remotely like this on Instagram. Why follow odd people and then complain that the people you follow are odd?

If you don't like their output, unfollow them! Very strange

MadameButterface · 20/09/2018 12:37

I don't see nobheads on my social media because I don't follow nobheads on social media

it's not hard

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:37

These people I were following are mainly people I know in real life x

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 20/09/2018 12:38

I agree with Madame. On Instagram I follow people I like, whose pictures I like to see. No nobheads in sight.

NerrSnerr · 20/09/2018 12:39

If they're nobheads though just unfollow. There's no rule saying you need to follow people you know in real life on social media.

Notacluewhatthisis · 20/09/2018 12:40

I have been on Instagram for years and not seen either of these things.

As social media goes I find Instagram the least annoying and has less attention seeking. Suppose it depends on who you follow.

You don't have to delete it. You just need to follow people who are annoying.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:41

These were people who originally I followed because I liked their content, but it's all turned a bit strange. This is what I'm trying to say.
I have followed, then unfollowed. I haven't just made a quick decision to delete, this is after some thinking.
My basis for my post is that social media is becoming a place where I personally am finding it bad for myself and I know a few other people struggle with some aspects of social media too.

OP posts:
Twotailed · 20/09/2018 12:41

I think I would delete it too if that was what was filling up my feed! So YANBU in that respect. But I do also think you have a lot of control over who you follow and you could follow less annoying accounts!

Notacluewhatthisis · 20/09/2018 12:42

If I knew someone in real life and they were crying on social media I would be concerned for them. If I knew they were attention seeking i would unfollow and avoid them.

You still don't have to delete Instagram.

Notacluewhatthisis · 20/09/2018 12:43

Of social media is bad for people. Most things are not for everyone.

You don't want it, don't have it.

Notacluewhatthisis · 20/09/2018 12:43

Ffs that should say social media is bad for SOME people. Most things aren't for everyone.

TimesNewRoman · 20/09/2018 12:43

I hear ya OP. Even the seemingly harmless home accounts posting lovely inspiration pics, the person is now crying on instastories.
Or the beauty YouTuber followed on Instagram for skincare recommendations now spouting pretentious crap about a new furniture "piece" that she is using to "curate" some "space" Hmm
It's annoying.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:46

I probably haven't written what I intended to say very well so apologies if I have confused anybody.
I agree that social media for some is great. I also agree you make what you will about social media.
I agree you can unfollow people before deciding to delete and go cold turkey ( which I have done before deleting)
The issues I have written about are just some examples of why I am finding it very hard for me personally, for some accounts I used to enjoy and find helpful, have taken a turn of being quite arrogant and nasty to their followers and not allowing anyone to ask questions.

OP posts:
Frogletmamma · 20/09/2018 12:47

Stay on MN. Sometimes you can genuinely help people. Sometimes its baffling and you can't. Maybe its about POM-BEARS then its up to you. But its all anonymous so no real life come back!

MadameButterface · 20/09/2018 12:48

if it's not for you then don't have it

I find it overly dramatic when ppl announce they're culling their friends list or deleting their social media, it's all very 'goodbye cruel world'

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:51

I just wanted to see if anyone agreed that social media can be quite damaging to some people ?
I think with things like Instagram to see people being nasty or crying or being very brash can be hard for some people like myself. So I'm the end it is easier to stay away from social media. Places like Facebook and Instagram where it's very superficial in terms of seein perfect mothers perfect homes and perfect diets and then those who use it for as much attention they can get whilst not really living in the real world.

I honestly understand some of the replies I have received and do understand what you are saying but now I feel a bit silly for my post as I feel I haven't written it very well.

OP posts:
pumpastrotter · 20/09/2018 12:53

Oh gosh, I completely agree. It makes me sick how 'fashionable' it is to have MH problems/anxiety - people justify their posts by saying it's raising awareness when really it is 99% narcissistic attention seeking. Same with anti vaxxers/pushy vegans, holier than thou nobs. I also know an unhealthy amount of home-taught 'MUA/PT/nail techs' who are frankly, shit.

Unfortunately it's a symptom of the SM age we're in, I'm glad it wasn't so prevalent when I was a teenager, the pressure now is so sad.

FlaviaAlbia · 20/09/2018 12:54

I suppose it depends how you use it. I
use Instagram to follow knitting pattern designers and the like so I find it quite restful.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:54

@pumpastrotter you have literally just summed up what I was trying to say completely thanks 🙏

OP posts:
HermioneGoesBackHome · 20/09/2018 12:55

Tbh it’s well known that social media isn’t good for your mental health.

It’s not just an issue of curating your social media so that it fits you. Social media offers a curated image of other’s people life, which has the knock on effect to make you feel bad about yourself.

Elephantinacravat · 20/09/2018 12:55

Actually, the crying on stories thing I can understand in some situations because I guess if you are over sharing something and you get emotional about it whilst talking about it, then I could see how that could happen.

What I don't get is the 'crying selfie'. Like, I can't ever imagine being so upset about something that I am crying, and then think 'oh hang on I'll just take a selfie' and get my phone out and start snapping away.

A580Hojas · 20/09/2018 12:57

I don't have Instagram. Is this what people do? Is it just like Facebook?

I'm on the verge of deleting my depressed brother who only ever posts suicide memes and videos preaching about understanding depression. I've had enough of it.

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