I have had to delete Instagram

[wolfywolfy]

Before I start my small rant I would just like to say that I understand that social media and places like Instagram are a platform where people feel part of something and that they can reach out and talk to people and for that I applaud it especially if you are suffering mental health and it has helped you in some way, for some people it is good to connect with people and reach out, and it has helped you positively and make changes in your life. I also understand that it is your platform to post whatever you like, freedom of speech and all that but you cannot post controversial material and not expect people to reply/ disagree....however a few things I have noticed recently are :

Lots of people on my feed have started posting videos of themselves when they are crying /upset ?
I can't quite fathom it. Once upon a time I may have felt sad for them that they were upset, but now I just find it a bit confusing that grown women are posting videos of themselves crying for some online attention every other day or so. It seems to have become like a fashionable thing on my feed ?This may sound really nasty but I can't quite get my head round someone posting a five minute video of themselves With tears rolling down their face. I get some people are on the actual verge of desperation and need some real life help and don't know what else to do and believe me I have been in a 'desperate emotional situation' many a time, But I don't understand , its all very cryptic or maybe I am just getting old ? I do know some of these people who do this IRL and they are like this IRL. I know to some people this may sound like I am being horrible and I'm sorry but it is something I have noticed as of late..

Anti Vaxxers - A mother posting that vaccinations aren't vegan and that is why her son won't have them. Yet I have seen her videos / photos of her feeding him eggs and him wearing wool, but posting that she will ignore any messages about vaccinations 'she doesn't want to hear it' . I have tried very hard to resist messaging her with some questions I have but know I will be shot down in an instant. I wonder if her child caught a horrid disease weather he would be declined treatment incase it's not vegan.
Why would you post such things but not want to deal with people legitimately interested in your point of view ? Or people wanting to ask innocent questions ?

This is one of the few reasons I have had to delete social media, in a place that was invented for people to connect I am finding people more and more difficult to engage with because everyone has this online bravado and I am finding it too triggering.
I haven't had Facebook for a number of years and it's good what not having it does for the soul and now I am giving up Instagram for the same reasons.
I enjoy mumsnet because you can have a good debate or chat on here. No pictures so not on a superficial level.
I am ready to be told IABU by some .
Thanks for reading my rant

The I don't get people who go out of their way to say they are deleting or don't have insta/Facebook etc.

Presumably because they think it is a major event that people need to know about, which is exactly the kind of skewed sense of proportion and ego that social media tends to encourage and develop.

@LydiaLunch7 nope don't take it seriously but interested in other people's views on the matter as it is such a big thing now and part of people daily lives. Sometimes it's good to have a debate and see what people think.
It was also an AIBU about people crying on Instagram and anti vaxxers being hypocritical.

Maybe I should change the title to ' I have chosen to delete Instagram' 😑

Madamebutterface - thank you, seems all is not lost and there is actually some nice people on this thread less dismissive of mental health and a little compassionate.
You're right, some people do find it helps to talk, to share, or others who don't open up easily like to know that there are others in the same situation and maybe helps them feel less alone.
Bit baffling people saying they have mental health issues but think nothing of making others feel like shit just because it doesn't fit their view of what mental health "should be" like.

OP I have never seen anyone crying on Instagram.

The things you see on social media are a combination of accounts you follow and suggested accounts or advertising based on things you have liked or otherwise engaged with in the past.

If I don't like what someone posts on Facebook I unfriend or unfollow them. Ditto Instagram. And the pictures Instagram decides to show me from accounts I don't follow are pictures of food, exotic holiday destinations and cute fluffy animals.

There will be some reason why Instagram thinks you want to see these things. You don't have to delete Instagram. Just like a fuckload of pictures of kittens or avocado on toast and soon that is all you will see.

@LydiaLunch7 not a proportion of ego in the slightest I had a Instagram with not many followers , i never had any selfies and kept my private life extremely quiet. I followed my interests and a few old friends but over the years I have seen what it has become and would like some people's views on it ? Social media has opened my eyes to many things and sometimes it's good to take a back seat and re connect with the real world. I enjoy discussions and people's opinions so therefore made a thread about it.
I do not see how that makes me have an ego ?

I deleted my Instagram Monday 10th sept, and I feel much lighter and better.
I got rid of it because on Sunday 9th sept I took part in the great north run, on my way round I picked up a serious injury and I hobbled to the finish line. There were countless people who I followed on Instagram who also took part and they were complaining about their slow running times (which were superhuman speeds for me!) and it was just getting me down. I figured get off it and see how I feel when I am recovered. It can really drag you down Instagram, it’s so far removed from reality, it’s not good for me.

I don't get all this handwringing about selfies and 'curated lives' and stuff

if that's what makes people happy let them crack on, who are they hurting? anyone sensible knows it's a sham

if you don't like it, just follow people who stick googly eyes on statues or post kitten videos or whatever

just because real life is real life doesn't necessarily make it superior to social media. people can be vain sanctimonious wankers in person too.

Of course each to their own @MadameButterface and they are indeed entitled to use their platform however they like.
Just me personally after a few years time is up for me with it.

Instagram is a load of self indulgent vacuous boring bollocks. It's addictive shite for the me me me generation. Life's too short FFS.

There you go, sorted. Now go and read a decent book or sommat.

But what is there to debate.

Sofa media is fine for some and not for others. There's no obligation to have it. No one cares wether you have it or not.

But you still think people are going to say yabu for deleting Instagram.

Why would they? If you wanted a debate on social media and mental health, post that.dont dance around. It clear you wanted a debate, wanted to post in Aibu (because it's more popular?) So came up with some misleading post to get that debate.

I don't see why.

I think you're doing Instagram wrong.
It's not really the forum for debating with anti-vaxxers. Twitter is the forum for arguing with people. Instagram is for looking at nice photos, reading some body positive stories and laughing at Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.

Bloobs - how on earth do you know if someone's anxiety is "just having ups and downs?"

rainbowsandsmiles - you don't. I can never know for sure if someone I don't know has a genuine health condition or is just being attention-seeking (and in fact you could see being attention-seeking as a bit of in issue in itself, so it's a murky area). I'd never ever comment on an individual - I'm remarking on the general trend.

The explosive rise in people talking about OCD, anxiety etc. online and getting attention and sympathy, and the trend for self-diagnosing, suggest that fashion has a part to play. It would be nothing new as I've said. Unlikeable characters in Victorian novels use their "nerves" as a sympathy-seeking device. It's a phenomenon that's been observed for centuries, but social media encourages it.

Plus the fact that it's hard to tell, and you could never just tell someone going on about their MH issues to shut up and stop being attention-seeking, means they have a cast-iron way to seek attention and not be pulled up on it, don't they? So the people with genuine conditions are drowned out by the attention-seekers and no one can say anything.

I deleted all my social media this month too. For me, it was becoming a social replacement to having a real life. 'Friends' and family would only interact on social media, not bothering to converse or ever initiate contact outside of my status updates. Social media makes it too easy for people to check out of real relationships and just send a 'like' instead. I'm worth more than that. It's strange how you can feel connected and in touch with people through social media, yet in reality, be totally isolated.
I also understand your comments about being tired of what people choose to post and how they behave. I agree it breeds and encourages drama, which is only reinforced if you're not active in responding to those posts - particularly when those posters are friends or family you otherwise could maintain a relationship with.
No I completely agree, social media does more damage than good.

I agree you can just not get involved and not look at it, and I largely do do that. But at the same time it's where society is going, and has an impact on everyone. In my professional field it also affects your career. If you don't have a social media presence and followers it disadvantages you. Pisses me off!

@rainbowsandsmiles you don't know her, so I, and her entire family can make safer assumptions about her than you can. I have several friends and family who have genuine issues - some of which do publicly post about it - but I have no issue with them because they're not drawing attention to it ONLY when they don't get their own way (the attitude on holiday was because she's not allowed to have another horse)

@Notacluewhatthisis it's mumsnet ! A lot of people post in aIbu when it's not actually about being unreasonable or not haha !!

Whatsapp did away with the need for social media very nicely for me. On WhatsApp I have a group for my family, a group for old school friends, a group for uni friends, etc. We can all keep in touch and have conversations easily, and I don't have to deal with all the boring statuses/pictures/shared memes/crap like that.

it's very fashionable to moan and condemn young people for their social media use, as though everyone on social media is young and uses it in exactly the same 'vacuous' way

a) wrong b) so what c) how is posting selfies any more self absorbed than assuming people give a shit about whether and why you're on social media or not

Please re-join Instagram and tag meme accounts in the crying videos.

@someonekillbabyshark god great name btw - this is the relationship I aspire to!! Do you give seminars....?

Exactly, you could say it's self absorbed in itself to take to social media to announce to the world that you "have to delete" a social media platform!
Why the flounce, just delete already.

just thought of a perfect example - a guy I went to school with has exploded in the past year with multiple MH diagnoses - along with the amount of 'followers' and copious hashtags with any random words he could possibly think of (not exaggerating, think 50+ hashtags per post, several selfies a day with some caption about what medication hes on and what his therapist has said). He recently tried to kill himself, the first thing he did was post multiple pictures from hospital and a video of himself -that he took himself - apparently coming round. I don't doubt he has problems, but I lose sympathy when these posts are purely for attention

@MadameButterface I don't expect people to give a shit at all. No on will probably even notice I'm gone 😂
Which is completely fine with me!

In my original post I spoke about some trends I have noticed on social media and fancied a chat about them.
This is not about weather I think I'm important or not.

@Zombae 😂 I wish I could be so bold as to do that