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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have had to delete Instagram

203 replies

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 12:29

Before I start my small rant I would just like to say that I understand that social media and places like Instagram are a platform where people feel part of something and that they can reach out and talk to people and for that I applaud it especially if you are suffering mental health and it has helped you in some way, for some people it is good to connect with people and reach out, and it has helped you positively and make changes in your life. I also understand that it is your platform to post whatever you like, freedom of speech and all that but you cannot post controversial material and not expect people to reply/ disagree....however a few things I have noticed recently are :

Lots of people on my feed have started posting videos of themselves when they are crying /upset ?
I can't quite fathom it. Once upon a time I may have felt sad for them that they were upset, but now I just find it a bit confusing that grown women are posting videos of themselves crying for some online attention every other day or so. It seems to have become like a fashionable thing on my feed ?This may sound really nasty but I can't quite get my head round someone posting a five minute video of themselves With tears rolling down their face. I get some people are on the actual verge of desperation and need some real life help and don't know what else to do and believe me I have been in a 'desperate emotional situation' many a time, But I don't understand , its all very cryptic or maybe I am just getting old ? I do know some of these people who do this IRL and they are like this IRL. I know to some people this may sound like I am being horrible and I'm sorry but it is something I have noticed as of late..

Anti Vaxxers - A mother posting that vaccinations aren't vegan and that is why her son won't have them. Yet I have seen her videos / photos of her feeding him eggs and him wearing wool, but posting that she will ignore any messages about vaccinations 'she doesn't want to hear it' . I have tried very hard to resist messaging her with some questions I have but know I will be shot down in an instant. I wonder if her child caught a horrid disease weather he would be declined treatment incase it's not vegan.
Why would you post such things but not want to deal with people legitimately interested in your point of view ? Or people wanting to ask innocent questions ?

This is one of the few reasons I have had to delete social media, in a place that was invented for people to connect I am finding people more and more difficult to engage with because everyone has this online bravado and I am finding it too triggering.
I haven't had Facebook for a number of years and it's good what not having it does for the soul and now I am giving up Instagram for the same reasons.
I enjoy mumsnet because you can have a good debate or chat on here. No pictures so not on a superficial level.
I am ready to be told IABU by some .
Thanks for reading my rant

OP posts:
pumpastrotter · 20/09/2018 17:01

I don't dismiss anyone as a spoilt brat, unless they're acting like spoilt brats. As I said before, me and my OH's family are in a much better position than yourself to comment on her behaviour.

rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:02

how do you know that the videos aren't people I know !!!!!!! Cause I can tell you now some of them were !

You can't see inside their heads though, that's the point! Even if you know them.

rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:04

As I said before, me and my OH's family are in a much better position than yourself to comment on her behaviour.

and as I said before, to say someone is putting it on and only wanting to be treated for anxiety because her friend is is a shitty attitude to have to someone who is in your family.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 17:04

Sigh.....

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:05
Confused
Alicatz66 · 20/09/2018 17:27

Pumpastrotter .. I totally agree with you .. 100% .. you couldn't have said it better ..

rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:40

Alicatz- lets hope you don't suffer in future then from any mental health issues and have people accuse you of faking it.
Lets hope you meet people with more compassion than yourself.

rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:42

And if you come back with "I already have them, thank you" - then you think you'd know better as you'd know what its like.
Either that or you have no idea what they can entail, in that case lucky you that you have the privileged chance of innocence to be so dismissive of others.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 17:48

I'm
Beginning to think @rainbowsandsmiles just wants a fight now.

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:50

Wolfy - no, not at all. If people come out with awful attitudes towards mental health on a public forum, you surely expect that not everyone is going to want to join in with crying with laughter emoticons or saying that they're being put on. You're going to get different opinions.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 17:52

@rainbowsandsmiles nobody has had an awful attitude though and you seem to be taking it extremely personally.

OP posts:
wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 17:55

I know this seems like a bit of an out there comparison. But I remember watching a programme about people who claimed benefits to cheat the system , lying that they had mental health issues and physical issues. They did this to help them get housing / out of work.
Do you think these sort of programmes would exist if people never used MH has an excuse.
Me and previous posters are saying this because we have been victims of our own mental health and understand it to a tee.
All along we have said it's people like this who give US a bad name .

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 17:56

nobody has had an awful attitude though and you seem to be taking it extremely personally

posters have said

  • it's put on
  • it's attention seeking
  • laughter emoticons and saying you want the balls to do that (as in post memes under to mock)

just for starters.
If you think that's all nice and not awful, then that says quite a bit.
Did you all just want a thread to dismiss and laugh instead? As some people are going to think nah, hang on, this isn't right.

notacooldad · 20/09/2018 17:57

I just wanted to see if anyone agreed that social media can be quite damaging to some people ?
Most things can be damaging to some people.
The people you are following sound quite bizarre to be honest.
I just tend to have bands that I follow and a few friends ( that don't give me grieve) and a few specific interests or training bodies on my feed.( eg the BMC)
I'd have a clear out if I was you.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 17:57

@rainbowsandsmiles again I still stand where I think you have completely mos understood the whole thread.
I explained about the meme. You don't have to keep bringing that up.

OP posts:
wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 18:04

@notacooldad they weren't bizarre to begin with and had some very interesting factual posts !

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 18:05

Please re-join Instagram and tag meme accounts in the crying videos.

@Zombae 😂 I wish I could be so bold as to do that

I may of thought it funny to post a meme of a friend crying being silly ? We may have had a laugh about it

Hilarious. Posting memes as you think your friends are being silly crying. You sound lovely.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 18:09

@rainbowsandsmiles but I've never posted a meme ? I was responding and I then after the one millionth time after you mentioning it, explained that of course I wouldn't post a meme to to someone in distress ? I would post a meme to one of me gals who I thought was being a bit silly posting a crying pic and we would have a giggle about it. To cheer them up maybe ? Ever thought that people find memes funny ? When I'm down I get shown memes by my partner and it cheers me up. Could be a meme of anything. A cute dog for example so therefore you trying to keep bringing in this up is making you look silly and a bit needy for some sort of clarification over a throwaway comment about a meme 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 18:09

Exactly, I think some aren't aware of algorithms - FB is the same. You see more content of the things you like a lot or comment on.
If they turn bizarre, you just delete, or hide them.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 18:11

Meant to say 'I never said I posted a meme'

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 18:11

I would post a meme to one of me gals who I thought was being a bit silly posting a crying pic and we would have a giggle about it

So if you thought one of yer gals was being a bit silly posting a crying pic you'd post a meme pic to them and expect them to join in with you having a giggle?
OK, gotcha. Again, nice.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 18:12

@rainbowsandsmiles well you don't k ow my friends or sense of humour so ???

OP posts:
wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 18:13

@rainbowsandsmiles ever seen the lady with a video of her crying about how much she loved cats on a dating site ?
She got famous cause of that. She loved it.

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 20/09/2018 18:15

@rainbowsandsmiles well you don't k ow my friends or sense of humour so ???

Your OP said your friends have started posting videos of them crying/upset
Your response to that isn't to ask them if they're OK, it's to want to post a mocking meme and have a giggle with them.
Maybe it's just me but if my friends suddenly started crying all over their feed I'd want to make sure they were OK instead of automatically wanting to laugh about it.

wolfywolfy · 20/09/2018 18:16

I give up

OP posts:
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