I have had to delete Instagram

[wolfywolfy]

Before I start my small rant I would just like to say that I understand that social media and places like Instagram are a platform where people feel part of something and that they can reach out and talk to people and for that I applaud it especially if you are suffering mental health and it has helped you in some way, for some people it is good to connect with people and reach out, and it has helped you positively and make changes in your life. I also understand that it is your platform to post whatever you like, freedom of speech and all that but you cannot post controversial material and not expect people to reply/ disagree....however a few things I have noticed recently are :

Lots of people on my feed have started posting videos of themselves when they are crying /upset ?
I can't quite fathom it. Once upon a time I may have felt sad for them that they were upset, but now I just find it a bit confusing that grown women are posting videos of themselves crying for some online attention every other day or so. It seems to have become like a fashionable thing on my feed ?This may sound really nasty but I can't quite get my head round someone posting a five minute video of themselves With tears rolling down their face. I get some people are on the actual verge of desperation and need some real life help and don't know what else to do and believe me I have been in a 'desperate emotional situation' many a time, But I don't understand , its all very cryptic or maybe I am just getting old ? I do know some of these people who do this IRL and they are like this IRL. I know to some people this may sound like I am being horrible and I'm sorry but it is something I have noticed as of late..

Anti Vaxxers - A mother posting that vaccinations aren't vegan and that is why her son won't have them. Yet I have seen her videos / photos of her feeding him eggs and him wearing wool, but posting that she will ignore any messages about vaccinations 'she doesn't want to hear it' . I have tried very hard to resist messaging her with some questions I have but know I will be shot down in an instant. I wonder if her child caught a horrid disease weather he would be declined treatment incase it's not vegan.
Why would you post such things but not want to deal with people legitimately interested in your point of view ? Or people wanting to ask innocent questions ?

This is one of the few reasons I have had to delete social media, in a place that was invented for people to connect I am finding people more and more difficult to engage with because everyone has this online bravado and I am finding it too triggering.
I haven't had Facebook for a number of years and it's good what not having it does for the soul and now I am giving up Instagram for the same reasons.
I enjoy mumsnet because you can have a good debate or chat on here. No pictures so not on a superficial level.
I am ready to be told IABU by some .
Thanks for reading my rant

Please re-join Instagram and tag meme accounts in the crying videos

You mean as in post memes to mock someone in the comments if they look like they're in distress?
Yeah, because that wouldn't be an arsehole, nasty thing to do at all.

The explosive rise in people talking about OCD, anxiety etc. online and getting attention and sympathy, and the trend for self-diagnosing, suggest that fashion has a part to play. It would be nothing new as I've said. Unlikeable characters in Victorian novels use their "nerves" as a sympathy-seeking device. It's a phenomenon that's been observed for centuries, but social media encourages it

Brilliant comparison!

It does seem every other person has anxiety these days. But I think most people do experience some sort of anxiety, it's when it takes over or disrupts your every day life it's an issue. It's easy to say 'be nice to me, I have anxiety' and people can't question it.

I think a social media cleanse is good for mental health, I've deleted Facebook and haven't even missed it and I've heavily edited my Instagram so really only use it to catch up with friends or things that actually inspire me. I found it much better for productivity.

@rainbowsandsmiles no flounce here. Was deleted before this thread ever happened.

I’m going to sit on the fence with this one. I agree with those that are saying just don’t follow anyone that posts anything you find weird or upsetting as your social media experience is your own choice. I haven’t seen any videos of friends crying so not sure if that’s a thing now or it’s just your circle? I try to live by the thought that if I wouldn’t stand up on a train carriage and announce something to everyone then I shouldn’t post it/do it on social media, unfortunately not everyone lives with this attitude (that’s up to them naturally). I got asked why I check in to places so much on Facebook and I showing off that I’ve done/been somewhere nice? Nope it’s because I love looking back on Timehop app and seeing where I was this time last year, or being reminded of a nice place we found and would like to go back too. I feel that’s the downside of social media that people forget they have created an audience watching their every move and the audience can make too many incorrect assumptions that everything you post isn’t about them

@Tara336 maybe it is exactly that. The crying videos for example- I think people may forget how much they are really sharing on social media because it is so normalised now.

I got asked why I check in to places so much on Facebook and I showing off that I’ve done/been somewhere nice? Nope it’s because I love looking back on Timehop app and seeing where I was this time last year, or being reminded of a nice place we found and would like to go back too

Exactly this, I'm the same. I don't check myself in to places, but I do post pictures of things I'm doing/nice things I'm eating say in a restaurant or something/days out/holidays etc.
I do it for ME, as in I like to look back at things I've done over the years, but people on here (MN threads in general) think it's to show off. No, maybe look at yourself and why you think that if you think everything everyone's posting is to show off.

@Notacluewhatthisisit's mumsnet ! A lot of people post in aIbu when it's not actually about being unreasonable or not haha !!

Why are you talking about? I didn't say you couldnt post in Aibu. I am saying g you came up with a half baked reason, squeezed in a Aibu when really you wanted a debate about social media. So why not just post the debate?

People change. The beauty of social media is that you can just unfolloe them if you don't like their posts anymore.

If you don't want it, don't have it

It's not great for everyone. Many things aren't great for everyone. That's life.

@Notacluewhatthisis I do apologise for posting this somewhere you feel it shouldn't be.

You still aren't getting it.

I don't care where you post. I don't give a shit what section is the best section.

It's that fact that you posted a misleading, pointless rant so you could shoe horn an Aibu. You cant have actually thought snyone would tell you, that you must have social media. You should have just posted a debate.

Your op seems quite attention seek-y

I don't see how it's a half baked reason ? I have t say for hours planning my post and where to post it ,
I just posted it on a whim in AIBU because, well because I just did ? I don't understand why that's wrong when plenty of other mumsnetters have discussions and debates in this topic .

@Notacluewhatthisis I'm
Not sure why you feel the need to be rude to me ?

@wolfywolfy this is exactly my issue with social media rearing it’s head right there! would anyone walk up to a complete stranger on the street and start being rude?

@rainbowsandsmiles I find checking into places useful especially if you come across somewhere nice to eat and know you’ll never remember name of the place once you’ve left 😊. I also inadvertently found that there was a pattern to my MS relapses/bad days by using timehop. Again I had someone accuse me of posting for sympathy but i was posting as I have friends on my fb who also have it and we support each other, I wasn’t thinking anything beyond that when posting but there’s always that one person... 😂

I understand that my OP may have been misconstrued because we all read things in different ways.
But I thought what I wrote did have some more detail to just 'being unreasonable for deleting instagram'
Obviously looking back now maybe I should have chosen my title a little better. I do feel I did raise some points in my op that I do think are worth talking about which is what the AIBU was aimed at, the mental health platform, people using it as stealth boosts, people posting controversial topics but then decking any sort of questions .Not deleting it obviously it's everyone's choice and no body cares.

I am not being rude.

I am telling you that you come across exactly like the people you moan about in social media. That you are attention seeking.

Did you really think anyone would say 'oh yabu you MUST have instagram'

No you didn't. My opinion is that you are attention seeking. Like it's your opinion that people crying are attention seeking or using MH to attention seek.

If some random came up to me in the street and asked my opinion on wether thought they were unreasonable for not having Instagram I would be the same 'why? Don't want it, don't have. Why you seeking attention for it?'

Your op seems quite attention seek-y

Which is kind of ironic given the subject, really!

I find it rude when people start to use swear words in their language when trying to explain something. It comes across as aggressive. That's why I found it rude.

Well, I swear. Like a trooper.

You may have taken it as rude. That wasn't the intention. Mn is a very sweary forum.

If you choose to be offended by that, that's your choice.

I've not set out for this to be an attention seeking post .I'm talking about things I have noticed in today's social media presence and wanted people's opinions of it. I think there's a huge difference between actual attention seeking and writing a few sided paragraphs, looking at both sides and understanding people's points of view, that makes this post different from the attention seeking I am speaking about in my option and obviously it is your option as well if you see if differently and that is fine ! It would be a boring existence if we all agreed.

I just think when you use swear words in a debate or you are trying to explain something to somebody it can change the tone and come across aggressive to some people, 'it's all. I also swear like a trooper but choose my moments incase I upset or offend anybody.

Option - opinion, bloody phone

But it's up to you if you take it like that.

I have told you that wasn't my intention. People swearing does not make me think they are aggressive.

You can choose to accept I am not being aggressive or not.

I think perhaps op you are struggling with the concept of people all being different.

@MadameButterface not at all, I welcome anything /anyone different and am I treated to learn .

What I don't understand as said in my previous OP is when people want to make a stand and post controversial subjects (like anti vaccinating) on a social media platform, but in the same breath post that they will not tolerate any questions being asked . To me that is baffling

as said in my previous OP is when people want to make a stand and post controversial subjects (like anti vaccinating) on a social media platform, but in the same breath post that they will not tolerate any questions being asked . To me that is baffling

If it was about that, you'd have a point - if you put an opinion across about something as controversial as no vaxxing, it stands to reason that you might get an opposing viewpoint.
Dismissing mental health problems where it by its very nature of being a crap thing to do encourages others to pile in with shit minimising comments too though and that's not OK.