I have had to delete Instagram

[wolfywolfy]

Before I start my small rant I would just like to say that I understand that social media and places like Instagram are a platform where people feel part of something and that they can reach out and talk to people and for that I applaud it especially if you are suffering mental health and it has helped you in some way, for some people it is good to connect with people and reach out, and it has helped you positively and make changes in your life. I also understand that it is your platform to post whatever you like, freedom of speech and all that but you cannot post controversial material and not expect people to reply/ disagree....however a few things I have noticed recently are :

Lots of people on my feed have started posting videos of themselves when they are crying /upset ?
I can't quite fathom it. Once upon a time I may have felt sad for them that they were upset, but now I just find it a bit confusing that grown women are posting videos of themselves crying for some online attention every other day or so. It seems to have become like a fashionable thing on my feed ?This may sound really nasty but I can't quite get my head round someone posting a five minute video of themselves With tears rolling down their face. I get some people are on the actual verge of desperation and need some real life help and don't know what else to do and believe me I have been in a 'desperate emotional situation' many a time, But I don't understand , its all very cryptic or maybe I am just getting old ? I do know some of these people who do this IRL and they are like this IRL. I know to some people this may sound like I am being horrible and I'm sorry but it is something I have noticed as of late..

Anti Vaxxers - A mother posting that vaccinations aren't vegan and that is why her son won't have them. Yet I have seen her videos / photos of her feeding him eggs and him wearing wool, but posting that she will ignore any messages about vaccinations 'she doesn't want to hear it' . I have tried very hard to resist messaging her with some questions I have but know I will be shot down in an instant. I wonder if her child caught a horrid disease weather he would be declined treatment incase it's not vegan.
Why would you post such things but not want to deal with people legitimately interested in your point of view ? Or people wanting to ask innocent questions ?

This is one of the few reasons I have had to delete social media, in a place that was invented for people to connect I am finding people more and more difficult to engage with because everyone has this online bravado and I am finding it too triggering.
I haven't had Facebook for a number of years and it's good what not having it does for the soul and now I am giving up Instagram for the same reasons.
I enjoy mumsnet because you can have a good debate or chat on here. No pictures so not on a superficial level.
I am ready to be told IABU by some .
Thanks for reading my rant

I also know an unhealthy amount of home-taught 'MUA/PT/nail techs' who are frankly, shit

@rainbowsandsmiles unfortunately as someone who suffers from BPD and OCD and someone who does keeps quiet about it...
It has become fashionable weather you believe it or not some people joke on social media about it..people to say things like 'I've got ocd' 'I clean loads I'm ocd'
One of my reasons for deleting social media and also the amount of stigma about having personality disorders.
I have seen loads and loads of accounts glorifying self harm , BPD, depression, eating disorders you name it. Sadly it has become fashionable and the line between being vocal about it and it becoming a thing has become very blurred.

@Queenofthedrivensnow believe me I have seen it a few times now

if you know ppl irl who would have the arse or be dramatic about being unfollowed, you can have an insta account that you treat as a dumping ground for them that you never look at. you can then create another account on your app where you just follow memes, or animals doing things, or quilting, or hair and beauty, or artists/bands you like, or whatever makes you happy to look at when you have a spare ten minutes during the day

I agree there is a "fashion" for MH problems, and people claiming to have "anxiety" and "depression" when they are actually in some cases having normal worries / ups and downs.

It doesn't mean there's no such thing as real MH problems, or that they shouldn't be taken seriously. And the increased openness about them is a good thing. But what comes along with that is that when people get praised for being brave and inspiring for talking about their depression or anxiety, that will attract attention-seeking types to do that as well.

I say that as someone who has had diagnosed and medically treated anxiety and panic attacks myself, I'm not dissing people who have. And MH problems are common anyway. But there definitely is a fashion, as there is for trans issues. There have always been fashions in health, mental health and identity.

wolfywolfy

Absolutely it’s very easy to let hours pass you by without doing anything productive or positive and instead just watching life through your phone - not to say everyone does that but i think it’s a slippery slope and you can do it without realising.

It’s so damaging for people to also have this online realm where they get so many likes or comments for posting edited photographs that don’t necessarily represent their real life or only one small aspect of it and then their non virtual life falls short and is a huge let down - it can become addictive and you can feel in constant competition with your latest most popular post (and im mainly speaking about my 17 year old sisters peer group as oppose to my own experience) her friends delete posts with under 100 likes.... So much of their self validation comes from kudos on their social media and not their actual real like achievements and I imagine this can extend somewhat to other people with popular public accounts... I’ve seen so many posts about the algorithm affecting people’s pages and it ‘depressing them’ and ‘what am I doing wrong, why does no one like my posts any more’ ...

Another gripe I have ... everyone seems to be or wants to be a ‘brand’ and social media is definitley a big factor, you’re no longer Debbie the artist or the singer or the accountant you’re all of the above and anything else you could possibly want to be. So many people work for years to achieve a single goal but if you have a huge social media following a book deal, TV presenting job etc etc is only a few likes away

It does annoy me too. I follow a “channel mum” lady on instagram and I do really like her/her content and she seems lovely but I don’t really get the crying instastories she occasionally does. Maybe they get so use to sharing everything but I would never think to start an instastory if I was upset with tears rolling down my face.
She also had a “break” from social media over the weekend as she received 1 nasty comment. She receives hundreds, sometimes thousands of “likes” and lots of positive, lovely comments on her posts but had an absolute breakdown because one weirdo commented negatively. I’m afraid I just saw it as attention seeking. Negative comments about yourself/family is horrible but surely just delete it, block the person and move on.

Bloobs - how on earth do you know if someone's anxiety is "just having ups and downs?" Are you them? Talk about dismissing and minimising it. Wow. Some twatty views on here.

@bloobs you articulate everything I want to write so well lol

@rainbowsandsmiles I don't think that is what she is trying to say at all.

Wolfy - What the hell else does she mean with I agree there is a "fashion" for MH problems, and people claiming to have "anxiety" and "depression" when they are actually in some cases having normal worries / ups and downs

You'd know they were putting it on or exaggerating how exactly?

@rainbowsandsmiles thanks! and as someone who has dealt with serious MH issues and GAD for over 10 years, I can honestly say it has become fashionable. It's got nothing to do with people not coming forward with their issues or being afraid of the stigma - it's the idiots who claim to have these issues because they occasionally feel nervous who are detrimental to the cause and are making it harder for people with genuine problems to get treatment.
OH's niece at 15 has recently started playing the anxiety card and has demanded to see a therapist - because she actual issues? No, it's because her friends all see someone and get special treatment due to 'anxiety'. Don't be so blind.
Most of us who have actual issues don't feel the need to do it because we don't want to draw attention to it. Posting continuous crying videos about your issues is just self serving - and it's just another way for some people to excuse themselves for acting shittily.

I'm not saying it flippantly. It's now 'cool' and really not 'individual'; it garners attention which is what these people want.

I follow artists, crafty bloggers, interior designers, models, photographers and a few vegans. I haven't seen any tears or hypocrisy.

Wouldn't it just be better to stop following the people you don't like and start following other people? If your feed doesn't reflect your own personal likes then you're doing it wrong.

This thread is just crying out for a John Crace digested version.

OH's niece at 15 has recently started playing the anxiety card

Really hope you're a lot nicer in RL as you're coming across here, as your poor OH's niece if not. Hope you hide your true feelings well.
Fucking nasty, sorry.

@rainbowsandsmiles when you have had a very hard upbringing due to having misdiagnosed ocd and BPD amongst Gad you can't help feel irked by people posting videos of them crying claiming they suddenly have BPD which may I add took me over ten years to have properly diagnosed. That to me is where it becomes fashionable because it gets likes on internet platforms.
Plus the amount of people who love to glorify mental health you cannot deny it has become fashionable

@rainbowsandsmiles I have genuine empathy for those suffering badly and hope nobody ever has to suffer in silence but when you have people glorifying it and making it out to be something cool and a bit quirky to get internet fame and likes when in turn that shuns the people who truly are suffering into the corner and makes them feel 100% worse and not able to speak out that is wrong

@wolfywolfy also BPD here, never once felt the need to post about my personal problems, except when I was 18/19 and WANTED ATTENTION. In fact, only about 5 people know my diagnosis. I have noticed this past year an alarming amount of people who are suddenly BPD diagnosed, the same people who use it as an excuse to treat people terribly then expect sympathy because it's their 'illness' not them.They also make a point of not being 'judged' by their illness then make every single post or their insta bio about it.

Really hope you're a lot nicer in RL as you're coming across here, as your poor OH's niece if not. Hope you hide your true feelings well.
Fucking nasty, sorry.

You're not sorry so no need falsely apologise. The entire family agree she's been a normal teenager right now, which includes being a moody spoilt brat. Funnily enough the anxiety thing came about because she was told off on holiday because of her vile attitude - she actually said it's because her friend's have therapy so she thinks she needs it!

@pumpastrotter This. This is why I got fed up either someone posting crying videos I found it too triggering.

You don't enjoy social media.

You feel it's bad for you, even without anti vaxers and crying people.

Why would anyone say you are unreasonable for not wanting certain social media platforms?

The I don't get people who go out of their way to say they are deleting or don't have insta/Facebook etc.

It's a total choice. It's totally up to you wether you have it or not.

What would you think anyone would tell you YABU?

Instagram is far more vacuous and fake than FB ever was. It's all a load of shit. But surely even people who love it wouldn't tell you YABU to delete your account? That's totally your decision.

I think the fact that you felt the need to make a thread about it on here shows that you probably take the whole social media thing quite a bit too seriously, so getting rid is probably best, tbf.

The sorry was a figure of speech, I'll take it back just for you and just say fucking nasty then.
Moody, spoilt brat, plays the anxiety card - no wonder she's maybe moody if she's having to encounter yours and your families attitude around her. Might not hide it as well as you think (presuming you attempt to hide it and aren't outright contemptuous, that is.)
If her friend needs it, she might have seen her get help and thought it might help her too. Not do it as she thinks it's like a new toy her friend's got and wah she wants one too as it's not fair otherwise.

some people with social anxiety or mh problems find it therapeutic or an easy way to feel a 'connection' with other people when they might struggle with going out or working or feel lonely

I have some friends who are quite upfront about their struggles and how they feel, but I don't mind seeing that as they are my friends and I like them and they don't do it in a dramatic oversharing wooo look at meeee way (I don't follow people like that) and it means I can drop em a message checking in and letting them know I'm thinking of them or whatever.

that's not for everyone and that's fine, if people don't like it they they don't have to follow or engage. everyone is free to use or not use social media in the way that works best for them, as long as they stick to the guidelines of whatever platform they're on.

Social media is what you make of it. Unless you're an influencer and it's your income, nobody is making you take selfies, or post your dinner. Unfollow the people who make you roll your eyes, or even just mildly irritate you. If you quietly unfollow somebody, chances are they'll never notice.

I follow zero instamums, or slimming world weirdos or crying people. But I find some of the sewing pages incredibly helpful.