I have had to delete Instagram

[wolfywolfy]

Before I start my small rant I would just like to say that I understand that social media and places like Instagram are a platform where people feel part of something and that they can reach out and talk to people and for that I applaud it especially if you are suffering mental health and it has helped you in some way, for some people it is good to connect with people and reach out, and it has helped you positively and make changes in your life. I also understand that it is your platform to post whatever you like, freedom of speech and all that but you cannot post controversial material and not expect people to reply/ disagree....however a few things I have noticed recently are :

Lots of people on my feed have started posting videos of themselves when they are crying /upset ?
I can't quite fathom it. Once upon a time I may have felt sad for them that they were upset, but now I just find it a bit confusing that grown women are posting videos of themselves crying for some online attention every other day or so. It seems to have become like a fashionable thing on my feed ?This may sound really nasty but I can't quite get my head round someone posting a five minute video of themselves With tears rolling down their face. I get some people are on the actual verge of desperation and need some real life help and don't know what else to do and believe me I have been in a 'desperate emotional situation' many a time, But I don't understand , its all very cryptic or maybe I am just getting old ? I do know some of these people who do this IRL and they are like this IRL. I know to some people this may sound like I am being horrible and I'm sorry but it is something I have noticed as of late..

Anti Vaxxers - A mother posting that vaccinations aren't vegan and that is why her son won't have them. Yet I have seen her videos / photos of her feeding him eggs and him wearing wool, but posting that she will ignore any messages about vaccinations 'she doesn't want to hear it' . I have tried very hard to resist messaging her with some questions I have but know I will be shot down in an instant. I wonder if her child caught a horrid disease weather he would be declined treatment incase it's not vegan.
Why would you post such things but not want to deal with people legitimately interested in your point of view ? Or people wanting to ask innocent questions ?

This is one of the few reasons I have had to delete social media, in a place that was invented for people to connect I am finding people more and more difficult to engage with because everyone has this online bravado and I am finding it too triggering.
I haven't had Facebook for a number of years and it's good what not having it does for the soul and now I am giving up Instagram for the same reasons.
I enjoy mumsnet because you can have a good debate or chat on here. No pictures so not on a superficial level.
I am ready to be told IABU by some .
Thanks for reading my rant

That's what I mean,crying selfies/ videos. If you were truly feeling that bad ? Why would you stop to think ' oh I'll take a picture and post it '

I just think of you really have genuine issues taking a picture of it is the last thing you would do.

Again this goes back to the comment about MH been thrown round a little too freely as 'fashionable'

But again social media can be a good platform for people suffering MH problems .

And I agree that the 'don't follow anyone you don't actually like' mantra is very helpful.

You don't have to delete your whole account, Instagram is one of those things that is very much what you make it for yourself.

X post

just wanted to see if anyone agreed that social media can be quite damaging to some people ?

Yes it is.
When you show only the good bits of your life and it makes you feel jealous/non good enough etc...
When you feel you can only show the good sides of you
When you see someone else who is crying because which then makes you feel crap you are depressed for ‘no reason at all’
I follow people on FB for business purposes. So many people going in about how well they are doing which makes me feel like I’m not good enough and why is it that everyone manages and not me? Cue: they dint. Most people are struggling (at least in my area) and are making up number/only talking abiut the good parts.

So yes, I wouod agree that SM has to used with great care.

@wolfywolfy I get you!! I’ve had to unfollow a particular brand of skin care on SM, as the posts are always drama, rather than skincare. Similar with Twitter - you start following for one reason then everything changes, I’m assuming because there’s only so much mileage in SM accounts, so they have to widen their ‘scope’

@Hadjab Yes, this ! Accounts I once followed that were interesting and thought provoking have now turned in to soap operas.
I just in some way feel let down that this is what it has become.

I’ve had to unfollow a particular brand of skin care on SM, as the posts are always drama, rather than skincare

You're talking about Deciem right? The CEO is batshit! I don't know what he is doing because whilst most of Deciem's products are same old, I think they are/were really onto something with The Ordinary as people loved the fact that you could get really decent skincare at such an affordable price. But not only have there been his rants on social media, but they have had supply problems and all sorts. It's a shame really.

You didnt 'have to' OP - you chose to, as is your right. As is anyones right to post whatever that want to (within reason of course!)

I have never seen what you have - maybe time to new friends? However - you say the ones who did this in instagram, did this in real life, if so, why does it come as a shock to you? Yes it is attention seeking and some people i know virtually mirror their lives online - i dont agree, but it doesnt bother me. Freedom of choice - is a beautiful thing.

My instagram is private and i have a mixture of family, a small number of friends on there. I also follow a few people who bake and thats about it, i know what to expect from all of these so there is no expectation of the extraordinary.

I'd definitely ask the vegan anti-vaxxer how she reconciled her beliefs with feeding her son eggs.

Social media has the power to do many positive and negative things .
I deleted Facebook because I find it pointless: full of showoff posts ,attention seeking posts, bitchy posts .i couldn't care less what Nell down the road has for dinner or how clean Lisa's house is on insta . I know how to clean my home and your food is turning my stomach . It's all fake and I hate the society we live in to be honest , friends become someone else on social media . It's a very surreal world we live in now. I live in my own bubble and I like it that way too .

That's the problem, my instagram was private and started out with genuine accounts that have all got a bit strange !
Maybe I need a new hobby lol :) so I can follow decent accounts about something calming or interesting.
:)
But all in all, it's best for me to just stay away from it entirely :)

@tamzinro this 100%

I hate what Instagram’s turned into - I joined up not long after it started, and it was a great platform for good photography. Now it’s just another samey beg for attention pit of videos and ‘stories’ and chat and likes and adverts. I do still use it, but mine’s pretty locked down, and I still follow people who post lovely photos and sensible friends only. And I don’t chat on there beyond the odd quick comment on a photo. I suppose you get out of it what you want. You need to make use of the unfollow button!

@wolfywolfy yep! Totally batshit, I’m not interested in the fact that you don’t have enough integrity to privately tell your business partners that you will no longer be working with them - just sell me the products!!

Sorry, meant @elephantinacravat !

YANBU OP - a lot of social media is really mindboggling, the things people will do to get attention. And it does get worse over time, as more things become acceptable / fashionable. And yes it is bad for you, there's more and more evidence that it contributes to depression and low self-esteem.

I'm naturally introverted and shy so cannot get my head round selfies at all, let alone selfies of people crying, doing ridiculous set-up poses, etc. I feel like the world's gone mad and I'm so last century. I have very little to do with it all (just on twitter for work and occasionally look at instagram) but what I do see and hear of it often makes me . Yes it's useful and I like anonymous forums like MN, but the levels of self-absorption and self-promotion on social media and incredible.

However I bet there will be a backlash (there are already signs of it) and people who can cope in the real world and don't have to selfie themselves all the time will suddenly have be cool. erm maybe

Excuse my crappy typing

wolfywolfy

I completely agree - I chose to do the same thing about a month ago and it’s done wonders for my MH, only recently did I realise how much it affected me so I got rid of Instagram and Facebook.

There are lots of reasons it became a negative part of my daily routine -

Hours spent mindlessly scrolling instead face to face interaction with my DH as instead we spent much of our time on our phones.

I also found that all the accounts that I followed initially because they were based around certain interests I have very quickly became another means of advertisement and sponsored posts. Even if you unfollow they all still come up in ‘accounts you might like’ so you see it all anyway.

Everyone i came across seemed to be announcing that they were pregnant (real life friends and general accounts) I’m TTC and struggling so didn’t want to see any random announcements.

A lot of these online communities like interior accounts etc are very cliquey and I’ve just generally come round to the idea that it’s all a bit self indulgent and unnecessary- I’m glad it wasn’t so prevalent when I was a teenager because I think much of the time it does more harm than good.

And finally the amount of people I now notice filming or photographing absolutely everything and watching life through a lense is baffling - I think a social media cull isn’t such a bad idea at all

Don't have time for that shit

IG is one of the most tailorable SM experiences. I find it uniquely not annoying as a platform because I choose not to follow dickheads

I think that is what it is boiling down to, I'm just finding it all completely baffling ? I too am very introverted and just like to get on with my life without taking a million selfies or feeling the need to show the world my parenting or cleaning.
I think I'm yearning for simpler times when it wasn't so predominant and you could connect with people more by actually talking about interests.
I think I am 'so last century' too.
When I had a few social media apps I completely forgot about the actual things I enjoyed like painting and reading because instead I would just read on my phone or look at pictures of art.
Now I'm actually reading real books lol and taking photos out in nature or getting the desire back to do drawing (between looking after my baby lol)not just looking it up on Instagram !!

I've never seen stuff like this on Instagram either, but I use it as a sort of photo diary and I only follow people who I think are interesting photographers. Narcissistic shit and twonks are ignored, as are single men clearly looking for a hookup.

@Wifelife this is exactly how I feel too x

Me and DH deleted social media almost 3 years ago. We have a better relationship for it and now I don't even miss it

Is it very wrong I want to see a crying video? Just to really see if people do this?! Sorry weirdly fascinated.

Similar reasons I deleted Facebook though so yanbu

Oh gosh, I completely agree. It makes me sick how 'fashionable' it is to have MH problems/anxiety -

Actual at that - is it fuck to be fashionable to have mental health problems, what a stupid fucking thing to say.
Remarks like that is why people tend to stay quiet and not say anything - idiotic comments like that because they think that people will think they're attention seeking or drama llama being.
Don't think I've ever angry faced on here. Have the honour of having my first.