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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off photographer asked DD if he should edit her photos?

177 replies

ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 19:28

School photos today. DD scraped her face on a tree branch at the weekend and has a scratch on her chin. The photographer asked if she'd like him to airbrush it out of the photo Shock She is 6. AIBU to think this is totally unacceptable and an awful message to be giving such young children?

If they want to offer the service then maybe to parents in the blurb when they try to get us to buy extortionate photos but not to the kids, and certainly not in class.

DD's best friend has a bruise on her forehead (swing collision) and her mum said DDBF came home saying the same and asking how bad it looks. (I don't know if any boys were offered the same service). I'm in two minds about complaining as I have another child and think I should save battles with school for more important (SN) things. Although I think it is important. I've told best friend's mum she needs to complain because I can't!

OP posts:
SargeantAngua · 19/09/2018 19:51

Grazes are a part of life at that age! This thing about visual "perfection" now is maddening. My parents still have the school photo from when I was slightly older and had tripped doing a bunny hop and grazed my nose the day before school photos!

Alpacanorange · 19/09/2018 19:55

FGS that is ridiculous, yanbu.

MissingSummer · 19/09/2018 19:56

Bit of an overreaction I feel. If you didn't want it airbrushed fine, he was just asking!
I imagine there would be parents upset that their child managed to injure themselves just before the school photo and might be grateful for a chance to have their child look like they usually do.

Personally, it wouldn't bother me if my child had a graze/bruise on the photo, but I certainly wouldn't get offended/upset/pissed off because I was asked the question!

Nacreous · 19/09/2018 19:57

Things that you don’t notice in real life (because the person is animated) can look way more obvious in photos. I don’t think I’d be offended he had asked, given school photos are sometimes up at grandparents houses for literally decades.

Lindalee3 · 19/09/2018 19:57

Jeez people get offended at NOTHING these days. Hmm

Of COURSE the photographer did nothing wrong. Why WOULDN'T you want the graze airbrushed out. It will be gone in a week, but will always be on that picture.

I would say yes anyway, why not?

Easynow · 19/09/2018 19:59

YABU.

It would have been a yes from me.

Original poster
ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 19:59

Bit of an overreaction I feel. If you didn't want it airbrushed fine, he was just asking!
I imagine there would be parents upset that their child managed to injure themselves just before the school photo and might be grateful for a chance to have their child look like they usually do.

But then they should ask the parents, not the child (in front of their classmates). Ok, my child is 6 and I hope it won't bother her for long, but what about the older children. It could utterly destroy their self-confidence.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 20:00

Why WOULDN'T you want the graze airbrushed out. It will be gone in a week, but will always be on that picture.

Because it is part of her story, part of who she is. I don't want to be teaching my 6 year old that her picture is not good enough to go on the wall without editing the undesirable bits away.

OP posts:
LaBelleSausage · 19/09/2018 20:01

I think you’d be within your rights to fume if they’d asked that about a birthmark or similar, but I couldn’t get irate over a graze

Amanduh · 19/09/2018 20:01

Ffs. No it isn’t offensive. It’s a cut on her face and he’s asking if you/she’d like it out of a permanent nice photo! Complaining is ridiculous

MrsGarethSouthgate · 19/09/2018 20:02

Hmm He didn't offer to re-model her nose OP, just to remove a scrape that she doesn't normally have..

If he'd offered to remove something permanent, like a birth mark or mole, I would see your point, but this? Meh.

Original poster
ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 20:02

Just to clarify. Neither I nor DH was asked.

OP posts:
Tamiah · 19/09/2018 20:03

I think I would've said 'yes please!' - airbrushing a graze is very different to airbrushing small blemished or changing facial structures like they do in magazines. At the end of the day, some parents might like the graze to stay, as it's a reminder of something that happened in their life. Some parents might like it edited out as it's a photo that they will treasure for life and would rather their daughter didn't have a graze on their face whilst it's hanging in the hall.

You have to also remember that many parents have likely requested this type of airbrushing for cuts and scrapes. It's probably a fairly normal thing for this photographer to ask.

I say no harm done. YANBU to decline the offer if that's what you want.

Tamiah · 19/09/2018 20:03

*blemish

Ellisandra · 19/09/2018 20:03

Utterly destroy their self confidence?

I don’t think so.

Not for a bruise or a graze!

YABU.

Original poster
ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 20:05

Yes, some parents may have requested in past. Clearly some parents may request in the future. But asking the parents is different to asking the child in front of all their friends if they think their face is good enough for a photo.

OP posts:
MazDazzle · 19/09/2018 20:05

Airbrushing a birthmark? Awful. Airbrushing a temporary scar? Completely fine! YABU.

My DD used to get bothered by insect bites, which she’d itch until they bled and then they wouldn’t heal because she kept itching them. The photographer airbrushed then out. I was delighted.

MrsGarethSouthgate · 19/09/2018 20:06

I think it's fine for him to ask the child - their face, their choice.

Original poster
ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 20:07

MazDazzle Who did they ask if they could airbrush them out?

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 19/09/2018 20:07

Did you see the photographer then for him to ask? Ours are done in school time.

Tamiah · 19/09/2018 20:08

I have to disagree with you OP. I think it is right that the photographer asked your daughter. If is a photo of her after all. As PP says, if they asked if she wanted a birth mark airbrushed out I would be furious. I really couldn't bring myself to be upset over airbrushing out a graze.

From my experience of young girls, her self confidence is more likely to be affected by a photograph of her with a cut on her face hanging in the house, than being asked if she wants it airbrushed out of the photo. It will heal, and once it's gone she will think of it no more.

Original poster
ShowerOfMonsters · 19/09/2018 20:09

No, I didn't. But they could ask the parents when they send the proofs out. There's no need to make a child upset about their appearance.

OP posts:
cleopatracomingatya · 19/09/2018 20:09

Because it is part of her story, part of who she is.

Really? It's a bloody scrape not an amputated leg, let's not get so deep about a bloody scratch!

I stubbed my toe today and it's a bit swollen, should I write an emotional Instagram post about being proud of your toe no matter how swollen it may be ?

aperolspritzplease · 19/09/2018 20:10

F f s predictive text won't let me be y a b u but you are, it's a graze, she's six you'll prob like to look at it graze free when she's older. It's not a big deal. I'm glad our photographers photoshopped yogurt stains.

FrustratedTeddyLamp · 19/09/2018 20:10

because its part of her story

Oh...ok Hmm
YABU