To be pissed off photographer asked DD if he should edit her photos?

[ShowerOfMonsters]

School photos today. DD scraped her face on a tree branch at the weekend and has a scratch on her chin. The photographer asked if she'd like him to airbrush it out of the photo She is 6. AIBU to think this is totally unacceptable and an awful message to be giving such young children?

If they want to offer the service then maybe to parents in the blurb when they try to get us to buy extortionate photos but not to the kids, and certainly not in class.

DD's best friend has a bruise on her forehead (swing collision) and her mum said DDBF came home saying the same and asking how bad it looks. (I don't know if any boys were offered the same service). I'm in two minds about complaining as I have another child and think I should save battles with school for more important (SN) things. Although I think it is important. I've told best friend's mum she needs to complain because I can't!

@Showerofmonsters

OK OP, I do think YABU, But sorry for being harsh, when you are clearly pissed off.

Is it because your parents airbrushed your scar when you were young?

Is this why you're angry?

My DS had a strawberry birthmark when he was a baby and when I had professional photos taken of him they asked me if I wanted it airbrushing out.

You're being ridiculous

it made two 6 year olds very conscious of their normal face but it's not their normal face, if you mean usual when you say normal. Its a temporary graze in a permanent picture, it doesn't 'tell her story'.

There is a difference though between a scar and a graze. I would not now remove the scar from photos (from the bust eyebrow) because it is part of her and will remain so. But I would have happily (as would she) remove the initial injury that she had for a very short amount of time.

Yabu.
Photographers edit every single photo if they take it in camera raw format, and most professionals will take pictures this way. Part of a photographers job is to edit so he probably didn't even think twice before offering.

I would have offered to shop out a cut or a graze or a zit and I'm a photographer who is, in principle, against airbrushing/making people skinny/perfect looking.

@ShowerOfMonsters, I absolutely agree with your point that the parents and not the child should be asked at primary age.

I have previously asked for corrections like the glare being removed from dc's glasses and last year for dd1's head from one photo to be edited onto her in the family group photo, because it was a much, much better image.

What I didn't do however, was say to dd1 (then aged 9) that she looked like a gurning hyena in the group photo so we were going to swap her head to the one of her single shot. That would likely have upset her and she would no doubt have been teased about it if her siblings had known.

Instead I wrote a note with the proofs, sent it in a sealed envelope and let the photographer do the rest. She didn't have her self esteem bashed for the sake of use wanting a nice photo.

The only reason photographers offer this is because they have had years of parents demanding exactly that.

I think the photographer was right to give a choice, BUT
I think it was the way he went about it that was wrong.
Ask the parent, and not bring it up in front of other children.

For me personally, given the choice, I would have probably
had it airbrushed out (as its a graze), but as others have said,
if its a birthmark, then that would be a whole different ball game!

DS2 is severely disabled and attends special school. He goes through chewing phases...one year he has a massive rash...all over his face!!! It's a cute photo but the rash I didn't need reminding about ...it was awful!

Following year had photos done with DS1 and DD1 T thier NT school..... DS2 had slobbered all over his jumper and I was so pleased they'd taken it out!!!! It's now a massive canvas in our lounge!
I hear what you are saying but you are not there when the photographs are being taken ...you can't expect them to call each parent !!!

Not as upset as her friend, more bemused and confused why it would be necessary. But it clearly bothered her as she was unusually quiet after she told me.

Massive over reaction in your part.
I'm a portrait photographer and for every ten parents that have a child with pox scars. Scrapes bruises etc at least 8/9 will want them edited.

What's the poor man supposed to do. Ta not like she had a birthmark. It's temporary thing so why wouldn't you want it gone. It's not part of her forever.

You're being ridiculous

this

...you can't expect them to call each parent !!!
Certainly not. But I do think it should come from the parents, let parents contact if they want any airbrushing done.

You know what? I cried when I got some pro photos back and they'd airbrushed out my precious baby's birthmark. They swiftly replaced with unedited pics, as they should.

But a graze? I can't get upset about that. I don't know why you're so upset that the photographer asked the child, either?

Certainly not. But I do think it should come from the parents, let parents contact if they want any airbrushing done

I can assure you that if this was the case the reprinting costs and complaints would shoot up and prices would also rise to be customer

So what are you going to do now OP?

Are you putting your own feelings onto your DD?

A 6 year old being bemused and confused doesn't ring true, why would a perfectly reasonable question have such an effect on a young child?

I think you’re getting worked up over nothing OP. They want to sell photos and you’re unlikely to want one of dd with a graze on her face that she doesn’t normally have.

However on my graduation photo last year, they airbrushed me so much it doesn’t actually look like me! I was mid thirties and I guess when they were going through the photos it was like...21 year old, 21 year old, 21 year old then AAAARGH...what the hell is that?! And so airbrushed the shit out of me. I would have preferred a photo of my actual self really

Airbrushing out a scratch? Let’s get massively offended.

“Mummy we had our photos taken”
“Oh great”
“The photographer asked if I wanted my scratch removed for the photo”
“Oh right. What did you say”
“I said no thanks”
“Oh ok”

more bemused and confused why it would be necessary
Why was she so confused? Have you told her that this scrape is part of her story?
You are being totally ridiculous imagining this would make her feel self conscious about her “normal” face - he was offering to make the photo look exactly like her normal face?!

Not even any logic to this bloody rigmarole.

Fuck! what fragile snowflakes you and your friend are raising!

Actually I think you have read similar threads about birthmarks and been too dim to realise minor temporary scrapes are very different, and posted on here trying to be a virtue signaller and made a complete fool of yourself.

Last year our school photos caused quite a stir. Without asking, kids had their spots erased and other facial features, like miles.

My own DS has a distinctive freckles on his face, these were airbrushed out. His photo looked like some shiny faced American Disney TV kid.

There were a LOT of complaints to School.

(Although I never buy school photos so I didn't complain or follow up how School handled it)

You're over reacting. YABU.