To be pissed off photographer asked DD if he should edit her photos?

[ShowerOfMonsters]

School photos today. DD scraped her face on a tree branch at the weekend and has a scratch on her chin. The photographer asked if she'd like him to airbrush it out of the photo She is 6. AIBU to think this is totally unacceptable and an awful message to be giving such young children?

If they want to offer the service then maybe to parents in the blurb when they try to get us to buy extortionate photos but not to the kids, and certainly not in class.

DD's best friend has a bruise on her forehead (swing collision) and her mum said DDBF came home saying the same and asking how bad it looks. (I don't know if any boys were offered the same service). I'm in two minds about complaining as I have another child and think I should save battles with school for more important (SN) things. Although I think it is important. I've told best friend's mum she needs to complain because I can't!

being bemused and confused doesn't ring true
Well she didn't come home and say " hi mummy, I'm bemused and confused..." if that's what you mean. I was trying to describe how she seemed to me. Maybe bewildered is a better word? She wasn't sure that she had understood correctly what he meant or why he was asking her.

After another bullying incident dd was poked in the eye deliberately by a pencil. Days of tests to see if there would be any permanent damage, they used yellow dye which showed on school photos. I wish they could have altered the picture to take it off.
Reminder of an awful time.

When we were kids we had a school photo taken. My DB had a scab on his forehead from something or other. My Mum proudly sent photo to grandparents etc - we found out months later my Granny had spent literally weeks trying to get the mark off the photo, not realising it was part of my brothers face at the time

Actually a lot of parents would ask to have the photo hairbrushes in that case.
Some of them wouod even complain of it hadn’t automatically been done.

That’s what you get with wanting perfect photographs all the time.

I don’t agree and wouod much prefer the photo with the scratch. For me, that would be memories and a nice conversation point (10+ years later).

Fuck! what fragile snowflakes you and your friend are raising

I think you have read similar threads about birthmarks and been too dim to realise minor temporary scrapes are very different, and posted on here trying to be a virtue signaller and made a complete fool of yourself

While a certain section of MN loves nothing more than a pile-on, this ^ is just plain nasty.

Calling a complete stranger's 6 year old a 'fragile snowflake'?

Why not save some of the mindless vitriol for something more deserving, like an ironing thread or something equally serious?

Actually a lot of parents would ask to have the photo hairbrushes in that case.

Would the children though?

The parents are buying the photographs; the photographer is selling them... He’ll know what most people want.
You can always indignantly demand that the scratch is returned to the final version, if it’s so important to you
But ffs stop going on about the effect it’s having on your child’s confidence. It’s you who’s doing that with your laughable nonsense.

Btw, most people who see the photo on display will be thinking “photography is wonderful these days; why on earth didn’t she ask for that to be airbrushed out?”

Actually I think you have read similar threads about birthmarks and been too dim to realise minor temporary scrapes are very different, and posted on here trying to be a virtue signaller and made a complete fool of yourself.

Nope. Sorry to disappoint. I have been making a photobook for her grandparents. Which, thinking about it, they're probably going to hate as I haven't airbrushed out my or her scars nor the random bumps, bruises and scrapes.

But ffs stop going on about the effect it’s having on your child’s confidence. It’s you who’s doing that with your laughable nonsense

Child is asleep, has no access to the internet and can barely read. But thanks for your concern.

I think you're overreacting.

He didn't offer to make her nose smaller or airbrush out her freckles; he asked if she wanted a temporary scrape to be airbrushed out.

Calling a complete stranger's 6 year old a 'fragile snowflake'?

Hmm, well

It could utterly destroy their self-confidence. hardly points to an emotionally resilient child, does it now?

It could utterly destroy their self-confidence

If that’s all it takes to utterly destroy her confidence then she’s going to find real life impossible.

It could utterly destroy their self-confidence.

If you read back, I wasn't talking about my child there, but the older children in the school. Ones potentially starting puberty who are already likely to be mightily self conscious. Do they really need spots, blemishes and "imperfections" pointed out?

The child is and has no access to the Internet?? What the relevance of this?
She was present at the photography session (obviously) where this confidence bashing allegedly took place?

asleep

Oh OP

they're probably going to hate as I haven't airbrushed out my or her scars nor the random bumps, bruises and scrapes.

You sound like you are really affected by the way your parents wanted you to erase your scars. I think it makes much more sense now why you feel like this. It isn't irrational considering that you simply don't want your daughter to feel the way you did. I'm sure she won't.

All you can do is let this one go and ensure that you don't make your DD feel the way you did. By the sound of things, you wouldn't do. (Oh and possibly step away from mn for a bit!)

If you read back, I wasn't talking about my child there, but the older children in the school. Ones potentially starting puberty who are already likely to be mightily self conscious. Do they really need spots, blemishes and "imperfections" pointed out?

whatever makes you think they would be pointed out?

It’s you who’s doing that with your laughable nonsense.

Is what you said.

The child is and has no access to the Internet?? What the relevance of this?

I am merely pointing out that, as she is asleep and has no internet access anyway, she has no idea what laughable nonsense I am up to.

@ShowerOfMonsters

Not answering my question then?

Just want to moan and act outraged and like the wounded victim?

OK, I retract my apology for being a bit harsh... You deserve it. You are being ridiculous.

This is all a bit tenuous. Your child isn't hurt or offended, you're just worried about a theoretical child? YABU. It's not like the photographer suggested airbrushing out a facial feature or making your child thinner/fatter. It's a graze, not part of their personality!

YABU

(and are projecting onto the children)

Sorry Linda, going back to look for it.

It's a graze! Sorry but I still think you're over reacting.
Do you know what he actuality said to her? Because I doubt it was 'your face looks hideous', more like 'oh, you have a little cut, world you like me to take it out of the photo?'

Its such an insignificant thing to get worked up about, and I think you may be protecting your own insecurities a little. Just tell her, when she comes home bewildered, that her face is perfect. Just that the photographer can fix little cuts and scrapes, like magic. Wow!

It wasn't yet a scar, and may have stood out a like a sore thumb on the photo.

I understand you feeling anxious because of your experience. Just reflect a little.