CF friend? AIBU to tell her to f*ck off

[Lovemusic33]

I occasionally make celebration cakes for friends and family but I am a registered business so never do it for nothing (but rarely make much from a cake). I also work part time and lead a pretty busy life.

So today I get a message from a friend (close friend) asking if I could make her a cake for 2 weeks time, she said she will pay for the ingredients for me to make it. So I’m thinking ‘what about paying for my time?’ So I ask her what kind of cake she would like and she describes to me the cake she has in mind. A cake that would probably cost £100+ to buy from anyone else, why? because it would take around 8 hours to make (maybe longer), on top of that is the cost of electricity and I would probably have to buy a few bits/tools to make it.

So AUBU to tell her to f*ck off? Do people really not realise how much time and skill goes into making a cake? It’s not something I just chuck together in a hour.

Just to add, it’s not her birthday so she’s obviously told a friend that she will ask me if I can make it for nothing.

I knit a lot and do make presents of bootees, hats, jackets etc for anyone who has a baby. I also crochet blankets, but I'm better at knitting. Lots of people have suggested I make and sell the bootees in particular, they are very cute! However, the amount of time to be factored in would make them too expensive, the wool itself is peanuts in comparison.
I've just started making bigger hats with dinosaurs, goats and other animals knitted in; again the wool is peanuts but the time and skill is the thing. My friend wanted a hat with a goat on it and asked how much to make her one. It took me just under a week, doing a few hours in the evening, but even at£2 per hour, that works out expensive. We've come to an arrangement, she raises goats (no surprise there!) and sheep so she's giving me some meat in return. Everyone's happy. THAT'S how it should be if not a commercial transaction. Your friend is a cf, definitely.

Don't lie. Close the door for further requests of this type. Just say sorry but it costs ££. It is not even for her!

Just tell her a price you feel is right ie £100 and tell her that includes any discount, take a deposit and have it in writing.
Or better still if she’s taking an order on behalf of someone else say you’ll only deal with them directly as you’ve had problems in the past.

The second isn’t really a lie if you tell her you only deal directly with the end customer.

I’d try to be honest if you can. I like the idea of saying you need to give priority to paid work, but that may leave you open for future freebies.
I know it can be difficult to be assertive for some people (me included) so it’s easy to say, but if you’re able I would say that a cake like that will
Cost you x amount to make. If she replies querying that as the cost of the ingredients I would say you’ve factored in your costs to cover electric & the time you will be taking (8 hours) which means it’s 8 hours you can’t be working & being paid by someone else.

I'd agree with other posters in that you should just message her back with a 'proper' quote (8 hours work + ingredients + labour + other costs) and give a realistic figure - tell her you need to know by 'X' date as you are only able to book paid work and she needs to confirm payment if she wants to secure that date to make her cake - at least take a deposit, especially if that is normal practice.

Can you just message her and say ‘yes, no problem if you pass my details onto your friend and ask her to call me and I’ll be happy to give her a price’ then just price it like you would any other customer.

Don’t start explaining yourself by saying it will cost X because of time/buying extra things etc. This is your business so give the price and people can then decide to go ahead or go elsewhere if they aren’t happy.

Hi, don't swear at her (assuming you still want to be on good terms) but say that you're happy to do the cake for X amount, considering ingredients, decorations, time etc..
my daughter's wedding cake
Cost £380 and I had asked a friend at work to make it for her. I didn't expect it done ' on the cheap' or mates rates, I know what hard work goes in to making these lovely cakes! So just tell her the actual cost. If she knows and loves what you bake she won't mind paying the going rate x.

Did you message your friend OP? If so what response did you get? X

Tell her you will do it as long as she is ready to pay for 8hrs of your time , electricity and water bills as well as any tools that needs to be purchased.

A few years ago my friend made a lovely celebration cake and charged £60. Which I thought was fair considering time materials and overheads etc
However other people thought she was ‘massively cheeky to charge a friend that much ‘

That’s just the opposite perspective oo

Just while we're waiting for OP to update, this was my husband's VW campervan cake (a replica of his own van). I think I paid £100 for it.

How did it go OP?

Just say you're too busy but you've enquired at a local bakery and they will do it for x amount for you.

she is a massive CF, it would be bad enough if she was asking for herself but she isnt, she is asking for her friend, someone you dont know. If she works ask her if she will give you a day of her salary, that is what she is asking you to do

have you sent her a message or had a reply yet?

Yes you would, just tell her the cost and why.

Just give her a price and say how long it will take to make

I think some people don’t realise how long it takes to decorate a cake

How did you get on @Lovemusic33

On your place I would just write
Hi X
I'm sorry, I just don't have the time this week. Here is the contact information for Y who can make the cake for about £100.
Lots of love xxx

When she starts hitching about how expensive it us then is your moment to point out that it will take a full day to make whilst also sounding super reasonable and impartial.

So, I wrote “hi xxxx, I’m sorry but I won’t be able to make the cake, I need to keep my dairy clear for work, a cake like this would take me 8+ hours to make and a can’t afford to throw away work to make it for free, hope you understand?, hopefully we can catch up soon for a coffee?”

All I got back was thumbs up 🤨

Doris love the campervan cake, looks similar to my van, I might make one for myself on my birthday as no one ever buys me a cake.

OP, did you answer why you all make these cakes for next to nothing? Why not make it into a profitable business?

Havaina I did try for a while, there are so many people doing it and there are so many people who don’t want to pay a fortune for a cake, to make it profitable I would need to make quite a few cakes a week and the orders are just not there, I live in a rural area which doesn’t help. If people don’t want to pay £40+ for a handmade cake then I suggest they go to Tesco’s and get a mass produced cake for £10.

Good for you OP. A great way of dealing with it.

You've made me fancy some cake!

That makes sense, OP. Just take care that family (cousins, uncles, etc) don't take advantage of you (i.e. they do you favours too).