Was this a wierd thing for me to mention?

[UsualName]

I get nervous in social situations. So my 'normal' monitor is slightly off - please tell me your views...

My DS went to a party recently. At the end there were some toys for each child to take home (I won't say what in case I'm recognised!). There seemed to be about 4 leftover on the floor and my DD wanted to take one home for her younger brother. As it would save arguments back home, I thought I would ask the birthday boy's parent if we could take one extra. She said it was fine (although did not seem overly enthusiastic) as she thought she had bought a few extra.

Later that day she posted a message on the party WhatsApp group saying that some people had not taken their toy home and would anyone like her to bring it to school drop off for them.

I felt really bad and have been worrying that she perhaps resented me taking one extra. So at school pick up today I said that I hoped it was OK for me to take one extra and did she have enough?
She behaved as though I had made her feel really uncomfortable. She muttered it was OK and she had spares, but the look on her face and body-language showed that she felt really uncomfortable and thought I was odd or something. She could not get away from me quickly enough. Usually we could chat a little if we bump into each other on the school run, so it was noticeable that she did not want to engage.

Was it weird of me to mention this?

Later that day she posted a message on the party WhatsApp group saying that some people had not taken their toy home and would anyone like her to bring it to school drop off for them.

Just tell us what what the toy was, OP! Was it something cool?!

This is insane. Don't tie yourself in knots over a stupid yoyo or the like. I honestly might have done the same if I was last out and they were clearly discarded by kids who thought they weren't good enough to take home. It wouldn't have crossed my mind that this was a massive no-no (going by this thread) however I would be the first to say bringing an extra child to a party is cheeky as fuck so I would have thought my CheekyFucker monitor was set to high enough. It was a silly toy and I think maybe you are overthinking what the other Mum is thinking about it.

Put it behind you now. If she wants to act like a dick over a silly toy then let her be.

We only have op’s word that the other Mum is behaving like a dick, tbf. She was probably completely blindsided by op approaching her again the next day about the same thing, and offering to give it back!
She probably acted a little awkward because she felt awkward, and op has interpreted this as her being “funny” with op because she’s pissed off at her.

Why are you defending such strange behaviour of this woman Iamgreyhound?
Has it touched a nerve with you or something?

This is why I love the U.K., so much fuss and bother over the 'etiquette' over asking for a cheap, spare toy

Do you act like these in your adult lives too? Get huffy when someone in the tea room nicks the last biscuit or feel startled when someone asks for a tampon? Resent people who take more than one free sample?

I would think that the inclination to be generous (party's over, OP isn't asking for a slice of cake or a party bag, just a cheap little thing) should be more important than how 'cheeky' it is to ask for something when there are plenty going spare

No, GreatDuck, it’s not me

Totally in the minority here. As a person who ALWAYS buys extra 'just in case', if it was the end of the party, I really wouldn't be bothered at all if someone asked for an extra toy/party bag or whatever for a sibling.

Seriously don't get all the comments about incredibly rude! Just taking one would have been rude, asking just simply isn't!

What ever happened to if you don't ask, you don't get? Too many people scared to upset others these days!

@asleepallday you have it scarily bang on

"usualname"

It was impolite to ask
It was presumptuous to assume the WhatsApp thread referred to you (still not understand how you made that leap)
It was rude to then assume your presumption was fact and put the party mum in an awkward position for a second time

These, however, are little faux pas - don't worry about them.

You seem to have much bigger issues that you nee fro address. If you were my DD the phrase 'Drama Queen' would spring to mind. Or 'making a mountain out of a molehill'. And after 19 pages of drip feeds I'd suggest going to her room to have a good think and detemine what this is really about - because it's not about a leftover toy.

IMO you come across as a little self obsessed and lacking in the ability to see things in the wider picture. I know that's harsh - I don't want you to feel bad. Hopefully you can read back your comments and see how needy and passively requiring positive attention they are.

You had an error in judgement. Luckily it was regarding a tiny thing. No one died. Nobody was injured. Nobody was put in an excruciatingly embarrassing /awkward situation.

The rest of the world revolves around the rest of the world. Only our own worlds revolve around us and ours. Once we realise this simple fact, navigating this shared existence becomes so much easier

Chill out. Let it go.

PS I'm quite envious of a life in which this thread would be what makes me cry. Recognise how lucky you are

I wouldn’t give a shit if you asked and I’d be glad someone wanted them!

She sounds weird to me whatsaaping to ask if anyone wants her to bring in the pack of cheap bubbles their kid didn’t want at the party! How random is that!

I reckon she realised this when you apologied for having the extra one and realised she sounded odd!

Anyway you sound like the kind of Mum I’d want to be friends with so don’t give it another thought, find your own tribe (they may be hiding in their cars avoiding the school gates I know I did!!) and be yourself.

Yep, she’s weird for thinking people really wanted more plastic tat at the end of the party. I’d be thrilled if someone asked for an extra one to take home, I’d be pleased that their other child would get some enjoyment out of it and it would be less crap for me to take home. I think she’s made something out of nothing and I can’t understand her either. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong and I would really stop worrying about it. Perhaps she was just having a bad day, it isn’t necessarily all about you.

@adMadaMim Yep!

Was a little cheeky to ask but its not a big deal. If it was a problem she shouldve just told you no when you asked for an extra toy. Maybe she was a little annoyed because she had already said its fine. If shes upset or whatever thats her problem..not like you stole the toy. You asked and she said its fine. I dont see anything wrong and if shes upset for any reason thats her prob.., she shouldnt have told you it was fine if it wasnt

I think you need to let it go. There will come a time when you don't think of this again and in the meantime you've learnt not to ask for extras at parties.

Definitely in the minority here but I don't see the big deal. I would have spares anyway and would have been quite happy to give you one for the sibling

OP you are over thinking it - it's nothing.
It's a bit of plastic tat leftover on the floor at a party. I'm sure it would have probably just been cleared away at the end with all the other party mess.
Forget it life's too short