HELP sister had a breakdown. Niece moving in with us. I'm six months pregnant.

[newmummy0094]

I didn't know what to put for the topics so sorry if it is wrong.
I really need some advice.
My sister suffers from very bad PND and has done since my niece was tiny. My niece is four now and has just started school but when she was two my sister had a breakdown and I had to look after my niece for about a year.
Last night this happened again.

My nieces dad is away on business but is obviously flying back now this has happened.

Last night my sisters neighbour rang the police because my sister was lying in the garden naked at three in the morning. My niece was alone in the house so the police got social services involved. Because something similar happened before they released her into our care. As in me and my partner. They did however make it clear that if we didn't look after her she would be taken into care as my sister is an unfit mother.
My nieces dad just can't cope when my sister gets bad. So he really isn't fit to look after my niece and my sister.

My sister found out she was pregnant again which we think is what caused this.
I could see this coming and but I didn't know what to do. I can't believe I didn't do something.

Obviously my niece wasn't in school today but I don't know if I should send her in tomorrow and keep her routine or keep her off as she is really tired with the stress.

I'm going to be looking after her for months at least I think so I just need some general advice about looking after four year olds.

I'm also six months pregnant and I'm really worrying about juggling everything.
The only family me and my sister have is my dad but he lives in America.
Just to make it clear I am happy to look after my niece as I'm all she has.

@newmummy0094 I just want to say you are doing a wonderful thing. Our daughter has had postpartum psychosis twice ( first time straight after first DGS was born & second was a year after DGD was born so it’s not always just after the birth) & we had emergency custody of our grandchild last year, if I can give you any help or advice please get in touch as I have been through it twice now with her & we are out the other side.

I'm a bit worried that if you have the baby just after having your own, your bond to them might be so strong it could be very hard to hand them back if it comes to it. Is this definitely something you think you could do?

Knitting glad things are better, I used to work quite a bit with women who postpartum psychosis it’s a very distressing illness💐

I hope all the meetings went ok today and you know a bit more of what happened and what to expect aswell as what support your niece can get

I am not sure why we are all going on about post partum psychosis. Her DD is 4 not 1. Your sister clearly has a mental health issue and likely to be psychosis or bi polar. She may have stopped her medication when she found she was pregnant and relapsed. Her options for treatment are limited due to her pregnancy and therefore she may be in hospital longer than you expect due to that. She won’t be heading to a MBU at the early stages of pregnancy. They usually take woman who are due to give birth imminently or have a baby under the age of 1. OP your a fabulous auntie, your sisters DH needs to step up and deal with his wife as he is the nearest relative. You can then focus on yourself and your unborn baby and your niece. You can’t shoulder this on your own. Stay strong

My thoughts are with you OP. You’re a good person.

OP, I can't believe your BIL has not been in touch about his daughter. He just expects you to look after her.
Does he not have any friends, would they not be asking him how his daughter is?
I would have thought with his lack of interest in his daughter and your sister's MH, they would have been very careful to ensure your sister did not get pregnant again.

Did your niece and sister live with her partner ( and father of your niece).
You sound such a lovely aunt OP.

@beanaseireann
Yes my sister her husband and my niece lived together.

It's sad then that her dad is not stepping up to his responsibility revhis dd.
I'm glad she has a wonderful aunt like you.

I wish there was more people as wonderful and caring as you in the world OP.
You are holding your family together, your DS will never forget that when she is better.

I hope everything is going as well as can be OP

Hope ur all ok!