Daughter only one not picked for bridesmaid

[Layanna44]

Would like honest opinions.
My brother is getting marred abroad. Holiday would cost me at least £2500 just to attend. (Expensive location)
My brother only has 2 nieces my daughter (11) and my niece (15). His partner has selected about 8+ bridesmaids (friends and cousins, she has no nieces as she's only child) they have asked my niece to be bridesmaid and have even bought dresses etc. My daughter is the only one not asked and is aware and very upset.
Background info: my sister got married and had brothers partner as bridesmaid. ( she had 10 bridesmaids) when I got married I didn't as I had a small wedding, only having my sister, niece and daughter. I have been told that she is punishing my daughter (11 year old) because I didn't have her as a bridesmaid. Although I didn't have my other brothers partner either or OH SIL's.
Am I wrong to be annoyed? (She is an adult as well in late 20's)

When I got married, in my age group (plus or minus 3 years), I had siblings, several cousins, 6 SILs, a bunch of friends (from school, extra curricular activities and random life experiences) that I had to choose from. I chose 6 bridesmaids (only 1 was a sister-in-law) and 1 flower girl. 1 out of 2 nieces missed out. Come to think of it, she was a bit young and I haven't had much of a relationship with her. We wanted to give our bridal party something decent to wear as they were going to be in their outfit for the reception. I've been a guest at weddings and I like to dress well and not feel embarrassed about what I'm wearing. There are cheap tacky outfits out there but I wasn't going to be that bride that wore something grand and dressed her dearest in rags. I chose the people that were actively involved in our lives. People attended the wedding and celebrated with us.

Do you have a close relationship with your SIL? Do you see her on a regular basis? Have you actively offered help for the wedding? When you make yourself a stranger to your brother and SIL, you cant just expect your daughter to be chosen as a bridesmaid out of obligation. How parents act impacts the opportunities their kids get.

I wonder how many of your SILs own friends or nieces have missed out on being bridesmaid. I really don't think this is deliberate!!

It’s their wedding day, and they can choose their own bridesmaids. I wouldn’t feel hurt. I don’t think they love your daughter less.
Don’t believe people who tel you your SIL did it to because you didn’t ask her. Who tells things like that? Stay away from them, that’s very vicious gossip.
Maybe you can talk to your brother to check those rumours.

Do it yourself.

If it were my wedding day, I would feel hurt that my mother/MIL came to lecture me about our choice of bridesmaids...

similar happened to my dds. My DN got married and on both sides there were about 15 potentials - 12 were chosen but not mine. It hurt but we didnt say anything and even though others were a bit no one said anything to DN and his fiancee. Just have to put up with it OP but Im more of an all or nothing person and couldnt leave anyone out if there was a chance to include them. (though i do realise 15 is a ridiculous amount of bmaids - 12 was already pushing it!!)

(though i do realise 15 is a ridiculous amount of bmaids - 12 was already pushing it!!)
12 is ridiculous too but once you've got to 12, 3 more is neither here nor there so why exclude.