Mum at school making me feel crap!

[VillianInaDress]

Hello everyone. I want to start by saying I'm not a nutter but I am very confused about this mum at school and how she makes me feel. I live in a very affluent and pretty village in Derbyshire. DS1 and DS2 go to the local school which is a wonderful place DH has a great job and I run my own little business from home so I am very happy in general. Since school started, there is this mum, and I had heard about her previously but not really seen her. I only saw her this last week or two and I am going to sound so pathetic here but, she makes me feel like crap. Every single time I've seen her since school has started again I've just stared and felt like a right frump in comparison. I thought she was about 25 found out on Friday that she's nearer 40. She doesn't dress inappropriately but her legs and bottom look amazing in just a pair of leggings! WTF? She wears heels every single day, every day! And I've seen her run into the playground wearing these heels!!! Shas 3 kids, one has just started reception and from what I know she is divorced.
She makes everything look so easy. Her kids always look immaculate with best hair and clothes. Oh and packed lunches for all 3 and my DS has told me that she puts notes on little napkins for them and sometimes they even bring in homemade goodies rather then the soggy cheese sandwiches I give to my kids. I've been told she is doing a degree in law AND she's a freakin school governor and she just looks gorgeous every single day!!!! How? And why am I feeling like this?
Most of the other mums say nasty things about her because apparently she's not very friendly and even I see she just brings her 3 DDs and then leaves without talking to anyone. But my DS is friendly with her oldest DD and from what he tells me her DD is really kind and not like other typical 10 /11 year old girls so this mum must be doing something right?
I want to say hello to her because maybe she's lonely? Or maybe I am? To make it worse, DH knew exactly who I was talking about when I mentioned her to hin and he said all the dads at school drool over her which made me wonder if he does too? I've only had 2 children and I am only 29 but I look older then this other mum who has a good 10 years on me. I am normally not like this, why does this mum make me feel so inadequate? She doesn't come across as stuck up, more just not wanting to get involved but then why does she make such an effort to look so good if she doesn't care what others have to say about her? Why does she affect me this way? I now feel paranoid about letting my husband go to the school in case he sees her and thinks how unattractive and lazy I am compared to her AND the heels!

Help!!!!

Netmums may well have saved my sanity

You taking the piss mate 😂

Ménage à trois?

Not gonna lie, I'm up for a three-way with leggings & heels mum and her gorgeous 6-foot fella. They sound HAWT!

I think OP's DH is going to pull off his latex mask and it turns out that he was the exH all along, and he's moved the family back to Derbyshire from Somerset in an attempt to reconcile with the ex-wife he cheated on because he's riven with jealousy now that she's got 6ft, gorgeous, helpful-in-the-park chappie making her happier than he ever could ... {cue 'Eastenders'-style "doof doofs"]*

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Love this!!!!

Netmums may well have saved my sanity

You taking the piss mate 😂

Yeah, I wondered how 'accidental' that slip was

Netmums may well have saved my sanity

Anyone think op has made all this up?
(May be in head)
How sad, if so!

This became real creepy real quick OP. You have nothing to fix and nothing to patronise about. Yes she's had a crap time but she looks like she has her shit together. Stop hand wringing and obsessing and take a look in the metaphorical mirror and have a long hard metaphorical look at yourself as to why you see people as 1 dimensional and are shocked to discover they have actual lives and pasts.

Shalom I'm recently single and can say that as a single mum I have much more time to get things done now that I don't have my useless manchild to sort out/worry I'm offending or not serving his needs adequately enough.

Please leave her alone and stop obsessing over her. How could you possibly ever be a good friend to her after having bitched about her, obsessed, been jealous and now broadcast her personal business all over the internet.

Be kind to her. And everyone else, and yourself. That solves most of these issues.

Some people really do seem to have it all together. But we don’t know how much they have to do/ sacrifice to make it happen.
I look a mess every school run, i generally don’t have time to make an effort and suffer with depression which makes day to day life hard to manage. But I love seeing other school mums who look fabulous- I don’t envy them but I just think “wow, hopefully someday I can aspire to be like her”. But for now I just thank god if I can get through the days without the dark clouds overwhelming me.

If this is real it's obsessional. Stop talking about this woman, thinking about this woman, writing about this woman, finding out about this woman, it's just as bad as the bitchfest, another way to be obsessed whilst covering it up as kindness.

If it's real. I'd strongly recommend you find something else to obsess over and leave this woman the fuck alone.

There's a lot to be said for loving yourself for what you are and focussing only on your own positives. Stop seeing other women as competition. Honestly, just get a hobby or something

And as for Right, good for you. I think I'm gorgeous too. Because I suspect, that rather like myself, you're focussing on your positives. Much healthier mindset than mindless bullying, real or cyber.

All seems so odd. Getting increasingly odder with DH updates on her life.

If this is real I wonder about the recent update of how DH has said he'll now help with your confidence. Only you can do that. I can't imagine my DH telling me about his dreams of someone from school when I'm feeling low, don't think it would particularly 'help'.

If someone hand delivered an (I assume) anonymous note about your DC would you have anything to do with any of them at the school playground?

There are some nasty bitches in your playground. It isn't the one not talking to anyone and concentrating on themself and their DC.

Best advice I was given was to to talk about places and not people especially at the school gate! Also as PP has said, never worry about what other people think a bout you .

These perfect women make you feel sick don’t they op 😂.

I think this is your self esteem / confidence at work..... counselling could help you with that.

I know exactly what you’re talking about and if I’m feeling particularly shit about myself it’d bother me but on the whole I’m happy in my skin so couldn’t care less what she’s up to. No threat here.

Don’t bother feeling guilty or trying to make anything up to her. Focus on you now. This lady is nothing to you. She’s just brought out your insecurities, it’s not really about her.

I know it seems like she’s living the dream and hopefully she is but nothing is ever perfect x

If someone hand delivered an (I assume) anonymous note about your DC would you have anything to do with any of them at the school playground?

It really does sound like a village full of psycho-twats, doesn't it? The mums are one homogenous bitchy jealous playground clique, the dads are all pub-dwelling lech-mongers, they send anonymous hate mail to the gay divorcee

It's like Hot Fuzz meets Midsomer Murders meets The Wicker Man :D Someone's gonna end up dead, you mark my words ...

^To clarify, I mean 'gay divorcee' in the Rogers/Astaire sense.

Though to be honest, this tale is missing a gay character. Maybe a witheringly witty gay dad could rock up, become the OP's gay best friend, and deflate the school-yard clique with a barrage of razor-sharp put-downs?

@VillianInaDress

It's interesting how completely you've reversed since finding out she's not 'sailing through life'. She didn't deserve to be treated like a pariah even if she'd never been divorced and actually had sailed through life, just because she's extremely attractive, has it together, and is successful.

I hope you don't now gossip about what you've found out about her under some pretense of trying to get other Mum's sympathetic towards her. It's really not your business even.

As for the Netmums haters, it's really not that bad, it helped me during my difficult pregnancy way more than MN. It seems like it's just the cool thing to hate it here. 🙄

itdoesntmatterwhereimfrom
What happend? Fill me In!
Has op fabricated this whole thing?
I think she has.
Sandwich short of a picnic!