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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women’s rights are actually bad for women

999 replies

crazydoglady6867 · 16/09/2018 08:05

I am sure I will get shot down for this but here goes:

I really think that women wanting and largely getting EQUALITY is the best thing that is happening in modern times. What I have an issue with is women wanting to be better than men, wanting more rights and with girls/women only groups sports events etc we are actually just segregating ourselves and making men feel ostracised in some situations which is making them feel they need to gain back this “power” they feel they should have over women.
I am in a bike group who have a ladies section and they are just recently going a bit OTT over the women riders and making them more inclusive than the men really, they have special ride outs for them but men are not allowed to have a male only one. Etc etc...

You can see where I am going with this, and I am happy to change my mind in how I feel if posters come up with a reasonable debate into why I am wrong here.

I want to be thought of as equal to my male counterparts I don’t feel I need to have special running races they can’t run in or special groups my son can’t join or special days to celebrate my gender.

I remember a sketch in the 70’s on the Two Ronnies with Diana Dors in it called “the worm has turned” and thinking yeah as if that will ever happen, well people I can honestly say I am getting a bit worried for our men.

I know MN has a good proportion of man haters but you can’t all be like that, am I really the only one who feels like this.

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 16/09/2018 22:31

The motorcycle thing reminds me of what MRAs sat when you tell them that there's more women's refuges than men's because women fought for them, and if they want a refuge go and fight just as hard - they say "we have tried but feminists stop us" - as if men ever let women stop them doing what they want. If a group of men want to do something for men exclusively I highly doubt the opinions of women even cross their mind.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 22:32

@BertrandRussell

I honestly don't think I can come up with any other ways of explaining it. I am beginning to suspect that you are misunderstanding deliberately. So I think I'm out.

Why? Because you are wrong about it being discrimination?

Because to be discrimination someone has to be treated unfairly and yet no one would be treated unfairly by the provision of 2 single sex groups and a mixed group so no one being discriminated against.

GoldenWonderwall · 16/09/2018 22:33

Get over yourself. This is all made up. You know it, I know it. You ‘forgot’ about your ‘friend’ who was ‘falsely accused of rape’ and it ‘ruined his life’ whilst the ‘woman’ who did it ‘walked’ away ‘Scot free’. Another one to scroll past anyway.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 22:34

@GunpowderGelatine

Well someone was stopping them.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 22:37

Get over yourself. This is all made up. You know it, I know it. You ‘forgot’ about your ‘friend’ who was ‘falsely accused of rape’ and it ‘ruined his life’ whilst the ‘woman’ who did it ‘walked’ away ‘Scot free’. Another one to scroll past anyway.

I don't know anyone that has been falsely accused of rape.

That is you making that up.

Show me where I have said it? You can't because I haven't said it.

But carry on accusing me of lying though, while you merrily make stuff up.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 22:40

@GoldenWonderwall

I'm sorry is that the sound of you frantically back pedalling as you realise that you've just made something up?

longwayoff · 16/09/2018 22:43

Women's rights are actually bad for men.

BertrandRussell · 16/09/2018 22:45

"Why? Because you are wrong about it being discrimination?"

No, I am not wrong. It is discriminatory to exclude anyone from a group because of their sex. Unless the group is intended to address under representation of one sex in the area concerned.So I could not run my boy's only book group if it was not clear that boys lag behind girls in literacy, and this is an issue that needs to be addressed. The presence of girls in the group would inhibit the boys and defeat the purpose.

GunpowderGelatine · 16/09/2018 22:48

Arthuritis but what would stop those men forming an independent motorbike club? Nothing - it's not illegal. Are you sure they wanted their own or was it just a tantrum to make a point in the face of women getting their own group? Would explain why here wasn't one actually set up

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 22:50

That's not what the EOC say though.

How can girl guides run?

What area of under representation are they addressing?

Only girls have a girls only movement so it's not that.

Why can't you run a girls only reading group given that it's proven that girls do better in single sex classes? That boys have a negative effect on girls in the classroom?

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 22:55

Arthuritis but what would stop those men forming an independent motorbike club? Nothing - it's not illegal. Are you sure they wanted their own or was it just a tantrum to make a point in the face of women getting their own group? Would explain why here wasn't one actually set up

You are posting the exact opposite of @Bertrand. She says that they can't set up a men only group because its discriminatory. You say they can and it isn't.

Good to see concensus amongst you.

And you've no answer to the fact that you completely made up that bit about me knowing a man falsely accused of rape
@GunpowderGelatine

Just decided to gloss over that have you until you decide to accuse me of making stuff up again?

If anyone is making things up it is you.

BertrandRussell · 16/09/2018 22:57

Because boys lag. Shins girls in literacy. Girls don't need the extra help. They do in STEM subjects though-and plenty of people get pissed off about them getting extra help there-can't remember whether it was on this thread or another one. Anyway, I don't want to run another book group. I like my boy's only one. What with me being a man hater and all. Gives me a chance to torture and brainwash them when nobody's looking.

GunpowderGelatine · 16/09/2018 22:59

Arthuritis we're not a hive mind Confused I said it wasn't illegal not that it was discriminatory

I also think you've tagged the wrong person I didn't make up anything about you knowing a man accused of rape?

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 16/09/2018 23:00

Good to see concensus amongst you

Its not a hive mind

People are allowed to have different opinions

And they are allowed to disagree with those opinions

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 16/09/2018 23:01

Ooh crosspost

GunpowderGelatine · 16/09/2018 23:03

🤣

GoldenWonderwall · 16/09/2018 23:08

I didn’t make it up, it was in your post at 9.43. I quoted it earlier. If you’re going to use nasty bitches make false allegations that ruin people’s lives as an argument at least remember what you wrote yourself.

seventhgonickname · 16/09/2018 23:12

Arthritis,yes we've spoken to the school during the 3 terms our girl were put through rugby(contact).
It is a rural school and the sports lessons are done by years.Until the year before last year the head of PE ran a blog,had girls and boys teams in a variety of sports and highlighted anyone who was achieving any sporting events outside school.
So yes,there us nothing for girls now.The boys still have reams for Rugby,football, athletics.
The girls don't because they gave up since all the practice after school was dropped,no practise happened in lessons but they were expected to take part in interschool competition.
There are teachers but they are male,there are ways that the girls could still get exercise(there is gym equipment in the playground but no one is allowed to use it)and there is a lot if stuff happening for the boys.
Can you imagine doing circuit training with 60 boys sitting round the gym watching when you're 15.
.

GunpowderGelatine · 16/09/2018 23:13

TBF you did say you know someone Arthritis who was accused of rape, Reading back. If something is on his enhanced DBS in the 'other' section then the police will not believe that it was a false allegation in afraid.

If anyone watched that documentary Married to a Paedophile one bloke was a teacher then was arrested and convicted of making indecent images of children. He couldn't teach but he got a job as a labourer. As a PP said not every job needs a DBS certificate

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 23:16

@GunpowderGelatine
I'm really sorry you didn't. It was @GoldenWonderwall who said that.

GunpowderGelatine · 16/09/2018 23:17

@Arthuritis phew I thought I was going mad for a second there Grin

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 23:21

@GoldenWonderwall

Here is my post

I know a man who had an accusation made against him. Full investigation conducted both by his employer and by the police.

Both found no case to answer. No evidence at all to support the allegation.

He now cannot get another job because this allegation shows up on his DBS check. The lady in question meanwhile has moved on with nothing on her record.

In a situation like this either the allegation is removed from his record (but I get why it isn't because of what has happened in the past with Ian Huntley) or the accusor has a note on her

Where do I say I know someone falsely accused of rape?

I don't. You have jumped to conclusions and made an assumption

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 23:23

@Gunpowder.

I've put my post above.

Where do I say I know someone accused of rape? Where do I say that?

I say someone falsely accused.

You've all filled the rest in. Incorrectly.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 23:27

He couldn't teach but he got a job as a labourer. As a PP said not every job needs a DBS certificate

And really if you'd trained to be a doctor, or a teacher or a nurse and someone made up something entirely untrue about you you'd think " cool. I'll be a labourer?"
If that was your son or your husband?

Not if they were guilty, then there's no argument.

But if you are totally innocent it's fine to lise your career because well, you can be a labourer?

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 23:28

And silence again when you realise that I didn't say what you said I did.