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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women’s rights are actually bad for women

999 replies

crazydoglady6867 · 16/09/2018 08:05

I am sure I will get shot down for this but here goes:

I really think that women wanting and largely getting EQUALITY is the best thing that is happening in modern times. What I have an issue with is women wanting to be better than men, wanting more rights and with girls/women only groups sports events etc we are actually just segregating ourselves and making men feel ostracised in some situations which is making them feel they need to gain back this “power” they feel they should have over women.
I am in a bike group who have a ladies section and they are just recently going a bit OTT over the women riders and making them more inclusive than the men really, they have special ride outs for them but men are not allowed to have a male only one. Etc etc...

You can see where I am going with this, and I am happy to change my mind in how I feel if posters come up with a reasonable debate into why I am wrong here.

I want to be thought of as equal to my male counterparts I don’t feel I need to have special running races they can’t run in or special groups my son can’t join or special days to celebrate my gender.

I remember a sketch in the 70’s on the Two Ronnies with Diana Dors in it called “the worm has turned” and thinking yeah as if that will ever happen, well people I can honestly say I am getting a bit worried for our men.

I know MN has a good proportion of man haters but you can’t all be like that, am I really the only one who feels like this.

OP posts:
Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:28

@tillytop

Thank you.

I think I need to leave too.

Can't believe I've been forced to try and defend the fact that I am actually a woman

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:30

How do we know why the MALE organisers of a bike club have decided that MALES shouldn't have their own group

People have said what it MIGHT be

But perhaps the ops husband should ask

Maybe because they. are scared about a backlash by some women opposed to men only anything.

Unbelievable as that sounds because who would hold such a view?

tillytop · 16/09/2018 21:31

Rufus you were on that thread, but came on late. There was only you and one other who agreed with me that disabled facilities should remain for the disabled so thankyou for that.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:33

@Rufusthebewilderedreindeer
When I said that I got told that

How can I possibly say that I know any decent men? How do I know that they aren't all rapists?

Apparently there are no decent men. Only rapists or would be rapists.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 16/09/2018 21:33

Oh wait tilly was it the toilet one?

Sorry i didn't recognise your name

Im rubbish with names

And faces

And people really

5bobaweek · 16/09/2018 21:34

So you are totally misrepresenting me to further your argument.

Not misrepresenting you at all. This is a thread with the premise that men are having some kind of a hard time because of 'womens rights'.

You have been informed why womens rights are important and how women are opressed by men and how it really isn't the men who are having a hard time on a societal level.

And you've come up with examples of how you think some things are unfair and that very, very rarely men get the shitty end of the stick.

And women are saying we shouldn't have to (every fucking time) when talking about our rights and our suffering, have to think about that and how we, as women solve it.

BertrandRussell · 16/09/2018 21:36

"You've put up a brilliant argument Arthuritis but you're talking mostly to women who have a hidden agenda."
Sorry? I don't think I have a hidden agenda-if I have it must be so hidden even I don't know what it is!

Mamaryllis · 16/09/2018 21:36

Men set up bike club.
A few women want to join, go along, but numbers are a fraction of what they are for men.
Women ask if they can do a few women only rides to encourage more female members to the club.
Male organizers say erm sure (more membership = great, and we get cookies for equality)
Other men froth and say what feminist nonsense, we want a special ride day too without the pesky wims that we don’t want here anywhere.
Organizers - er no. We already have a bajillion male members and this will make us look like arseholes.
Men: waah waah fuckin’ feminist butches ruined it.
Op: totes. I saw the wims do it. They should never have tried for equality in bike riding and to encourage new female members. What bitches. They have ruined biking for the men and women should never ask for equality.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:37

But you are misrepresenting me by saying

We say this so you say that.

No I didn't.

I didn't give those responses to the statements that you gave.

tillytop · 16/09/2018 21:37

Don't forget all, this is a 50/50 thread as I recently pointed out. Whooosh, straight over your heads! As usual.

5bobaweek · 16/09/2018 21:39

Oh we've resorted to the 'you horrible women think all men are rapists or would be rapists' trope.

No. No we don't. We don't even think it's the majority of men. But we do know there are a lot of them and that we should be frightened by that.

It would be idiotic not to.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:40

@Mamaryllis

But why is it a problem even if it happened like that?

Men ask for a separate ride out. How does it harm anyone?

Why can women say we don't want to do things with men but can't say actually we feel uncomfortable around women. We'd also like to do our own day.

Why is one statement ok and totally understandable yet the other outrageous?

Lweji · 16/09/2018 21:40

@Mamaryllis good summary of the OP's problem.
Looking forward to your summary of the thread.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:42

@5bobaweek

Very sorry but that is absolutely what was said to me on here.

So not me resorting to that argument.

IcedPurple · 16/09/2018 21:42

"Arthuritis"=MRA.

So very very obvious.

BertrandRussell · 16/09/2018 21:43

"In an area where men are under represented of course they can.

But why only in an area where men are underrepresented?"

Because that is why single sex groups are sometimes OK. Otherwise they are discriminatory.

5bobaweek · 16/09/2018 21:45

But you think your examples are relevant on a thread about womens rights..

I don't know how to explain it any more simply.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:46

When I said that my dad, son and husband are decent men I was asked repeatedly asked "how do you know they aren't rapists? Aah you can't know can you"

So saying that we have to be suspicious of all men, because none can be trusted?

Mamaryllis · 16/09/2018 21:47

To be clear - I don’t give one single fuck if the men ride out. But it wouldn’t make anything more equal, which was the premise of the op’s post. It would merely cement the already inherent inequality. Grin
It’s that lovely meme with the high fence and the different sized blocks 😁

Men don’t actually need an all make rude to achieve equality in representation as they are already the majority.
A women’s rude would allow those to come out who don’t feel able to because if the inequality that exists, thus helping them to gain confidence and possibly join the mixed rides, hopefully to get representation a bit more proportional.
The op’s stated goal is equality.

If you ask her what ‘equality’ means, she’ll say equal sized boxes to look over the fence.
I say the boxes should be the height required for everyone to be able to see.
In her vision of equality, all the men can see over the fence. But only a very small portion of tall women.
In my version of equality, we can all see over the fence.
And yet still short women are being asked to give you their higher boxes for men that don’t need them at all.

RedDogsBeg · 16/09/2018 21:48

The organisers of the club are saying the men can't have a men only ride-out, and what sex are the club organisers? The organisers obviously feel it unnecessary or unwanted, it doesn't appear to be the women who asked for a women only ride-out who are denying the men their male only ride-out but it is somehow, yet again, being phrased and presented as women being a problem and denying men something.

5bobaweek · 16/09/2018 21:48

Not quite the same as 'all men are rapists' is it?

I think you have some sort of difficulty with recognising when something is the same or comparable to something else. That's the only way I can explain some of your posts to myself.

Mamaryllis · 16/09/2018 21:49

With all due apologies as my phone wants to change ‘male rude’ to ‘make rude’. Blush

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:49

Because that is why single sex groups are sometimes OK. Otherwise they are discriminatory.

How is it discriminatory when everyone has the groups that they want?

No one is being prevented from doing anything.

And I guess this answers the question as to why did the MEN in the cycle club deny other MEN their men only group.

The answer being they were afraid that a woman would come along claiming discrimination

Mamaryllis · 16/09/2018 21:49

Ffs. Ride ride ride.
Not rude.
God damned phone.

Arthuritis · 16/09/2018 21:51

Arthuritis"=MRA.

No idea what this is.

But you think your examples are relevant on a thread about womens rights..

Not a thread about womens rights though.

A thread about womens AND mens rights.

Swipe left for the next trending thread