OmG the world's most embarrassing thing has just happened.

[churchmouse84]

I would like the floor to swallow me up.

I went to see a friend today and had a brief chat with her husband, also a friend.

We talked about a film and I sent him a text message to say that I was watching it.

My phone screen is broken at the moment and sometimes goes off on a life of its own. I runs away with itself and selects random words.

I apparently have just sent him a text which says 'I want you'

I have apologised profusely but actually can't breathe.

It doesn't sound very believable.

I'm mortified.

Churchmouse84 have you had a reply from him or his wife?

Skittlesandbeer crying laughing

He said he assumed it was fat fingers.

However I'm going to assume he's not going to tell his wife.

ratherbeshowjumping

I texted a client who had been ill to say I hope you are on the mend. I sent “I hope you are on a man.”

I once sent a picture of the kids and me in the bath to the lovely lady I went on the occasional play date with.
It was meant for DH as he was away most of the time and missed out on loads of family stuff.

Loving this thread and also the fact that i have turned autocorrect off on my phone...

Oh skittles I have been laughing my head off and shaking in bed. Have woken DH up and have had to explain to him why I am a complete nutter.

I once received a text from a male friend of mine and DHs

Hey, fancy coming round? The wife is out for the night and I have the house to myself 😜

Followed about 30 seconds later by the panicked phone call from him - it had been meant for DH (we have the same first initial) and he was wanting a drinking buddy for the evening.

I still wind him up with that. 9 years later.

ratherbeshowjumping

I like bottoms broke me too. Then the accidental selfie to the judge. 😂😂

perfpower I am crying with laughter at ‘Shall we have children?’ as your second date suggestion!

I used to be a cleaner in a school and the rooms I had to do were always empty. One afternoon I had my headphones in, wandered into a room and without thinking I casually broke wind and not silently. Polished a table or two and turned round to see two teachers sat there, shoulders rocking from laughter.

Last week I was describing a movie to a work colleague. I had just watched The Disaster Artist and "The Room" which it is based on.

I said "the Room is like an awful soft porno, but without the actual Vaginas and Poop"

I meant to say penises but I felt embarrassed so "poop" came out instead!

She's probably wondering what type or pornos i watch or sex I have !!!

A while ago I was texting my best friend about my new boyfriend. Typed out something along the lines of "Yeah I think I'm just going to dump (insert boyfriend's name here), no idea why I went out with him in the first place" and then send it to the boyfriend accidently. I still feel really bad about this one because he was a nice person and didn't deserve such savageness.

Similarly, I used to work as a dental nurse and our computer system had an instant messaging service so you could select the employee you wanted to message and send them a private message about account balances, treatment plans etc without breaking patient confidentiality. After a practice meeting during which our manager had taken more responsibility off the reception staff (previously being a receptionist herself) and handed it to us dental nurses, I typed out a huge rant about the practice manager and send it to....the practice manager who has the same first initial as the co-worker I'd intended to send it to. My friend had no idea what I was talking about at lunch, and then it dawned on me what I'd done. PM let me stew until the end of the day when she cheerily said "oh flataspancakesnow I think you might have accidently sent me a message meant for someone else hmmm....?" I tucked my tail between my legs and apologised profusely.

*sent

I've just woken DH up by laughing 😂😂

I once randomly arse-texted an ex with a single word:
Lopsided.

“Sorry work is boring,bet you would rather be at home right now getting a blow job” - to DH
Only I sent it to a colleague!
He walked across the office and said “I would but how did you guess?”

Ide had a new phone and was trying to send a pic of ds2 who was couple of months old at that point to exdh (when he was my h)
Took pic and captioned it with hello daddy and it just disappeared. I wondered what happened.
I then get a random text from a bloke I went on a date with once (years before exdh) asking whose this?
Opened the text to see the pic of ds2 captioned hello daddy staring back at me.
I somehow managed to text it to this bloke instead of ds2 dad
I hurriedly text back mortified and explained i could only assume as he is the first contact in my phone (the ONLY time a phone has transferred my contacts ) it had selected him.
Thankfully he found it funny and I then deleted his number.

These are brilliant 🤣

last week on a work call to my boss (hands free) & the voice to text auto thingy on my car kicks in and loudly says "Do you want to get married", "Do you mean you want to get married"... Cue lots of laughter from them & me hitting every last button.. trying to turn the bloody thing off as it keeps repeating the same phrases.

I am never turning it back on.

My phone autocorrected a town name.
I had a text from a colleague asking if I would be around for drinks the following week.
My reply?
No, I’ll be training in anal

These are amazing. Shamelessly place-marking.

This is a bit long winded...

So selling our house and estate agent comes round to measure up. Have two daughters, and I mention one by name - Anna. He says

"Oh what a lovely name, not one of those names you hear everywhere like Olivia, it's so over used! What's your other daughters name?"

It is Olivia but I can't say that now as that would embarrass him, so I say Charlotte (!)

All fine until we walk upstairs and go into my daughters room, with "Anna and Olivia's Room" sign on the door, and the Olivia's Bed mural thingy over her half of the room...

The look on his face of confusion, embarrassment and possibly a tiny bit of fear of being in the house alone with a mad woman

I am crying here! I so would do the fart thing. And have!

Walked into a colleague when he was naked getting ready for a shower at work. his fault though as he'd accidentally not locked the door.